Mariyam Nafees speaks out on joint-family pressures, women’s space in marriage

Actor urges boundaries in marriages, saying toxic dynamics can damage relationships

Actor Mariyam Nafees opened up about her mother-in-law’s behaviour and the struggles of joint-family living during a recent television appearance.

Mariyam tied the knot with visual artist Amaan Ahmed in March 2022, and the couple now has a son named Isa. Since getting married, she said she has become more aware of the toxicity that can exist within joint-family systems and the generational expectations often imposed on women.

The actor said, “It is in our religion too that when our kids get married, they should become separate because every family needs a separate space." She added, “When we have kids like when I did, Isa is not even 2 years and I have already made myself accustomed to knowing how he will grow up and have his own life when he's older.”

Mariyam also spoke about the expectations placed on wives, stressing the importance of giving women entering a new household the personal space to grow and flourish. “It is not his wife’s duty to take care of us. It’s important to have these discussions before,” she said.

She further stated, “If your house is not big enough that you can separate them, then you should at least give their room and kitchen some space."

 

 

 

 

View this post on Instagram

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Speaking about women’s rights within marriage, Mariyam said every woman should have the freedom to decorate and manage her home according to her own preferences. “It should be that she should have her own space that she will set. That is her right. In the end, this could also benefit homes. Who knows she might bring some good changes?”

She also discussed the toxicity that can arise when mothers-in-law struggle to accept boundaries, saying such attitudes can damage relationships. “It is wrong for elders to think that we are the right age and no other woman can take our place or know us better than us," she said.

Nafees stated, "That's where the damage starts,” adding, “You can learn something new at any age.”

Actor Sharmeen Ali also weighed in on the discussion, agreeing that many people unknowingly repeat the parenting patterns they learned from previous generations. “We often apply what we have learned from our parents to our kids but in our generation, we are unlearning toxic behaviors that we have seen from our past”.

She added, “I am happy to see changes in our children’s upbringing and parenting. I feel when our children get married, whether they are sons or daughters, we won’t have these concepts anymore.”