Domestic violence victims suffer in silence

Pressure from family elders, indifference of authorities forces women into reconciling with abusive husbands

LAHORE:

For married women religiously lectured by families on the importance of compromise in marriage, leaving an abusive relationship and returning to the natal home is never an option, even if it means carrying perpetual bruises and broken bones right to the grave.

Despite the provincial government initiating several endeavors aimed at ensuring women’s safety within the four walls of the household, a significant percentage of women stuck in abusive intimate partner relationships, refrain from seeking legal action against the perpetrating husbands, due largely to the complicity of their families, who in the hopes of saving their marriage, coerce the battered women into silently enduring the abuse for the sake of their children’s future or their family’s honour.

Rehana Gul, a 28-year-old victim of domestic violence from the Baghbanpura area of Lahore, was brutally battered by her husband and his relatives to the point where one of her arms was fractured and multiple other injuries were sustained on her face and head.

“Despite my suffering, I was coerced into reconciling with my husband by the elder members of my family,” shared Gul, who was made to believe that she had to stay in the marriage for the sake of her one-and-a-half-year-old son.

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Like Rehana Gul, hundreds of women subjected to physical violence by their husbands and their in-laws are unable to report the assault to the local authorities due to family pressure, kinship constraints and various other compulsions, all of which force them to make peace with the assailants.

“First of all, a large number of families do not even consider slapping, kicking or pushing a wife, sister or daughter as violence. Even when some families encourage their daughters to seek help from the police, the police either ask the complainants to present unobtainable evidence or simply ask them to resolve the matter behind closed doors,” protested Nida Noor, a human rights lawyer and advocate at the Lahore High Court, who opined that a weak implementation of laws aiming to protect women had allowed cases of gender based violence to burgeon in the province.

According to data obtained from the Sustainable Social Development Organization (SSDO), a total of 10,365 cases of violence against women were reported in Punjab during the first four months of the year, including 2,818 cases of physical violence, 1,111 cases of sexual abuse, 613 cases of kidnapping and 219 cases of domestic abuse.

“Women who are not financially independent cannot afford to stand against their families therefore they refrain from reporting domestic abuse to the police,” observed Syeda Shehrbano Naqvi, Assistant Superintendent of the Lahore Police.

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However, in most cases it is not only the families which force women to endure the abuse rather it is the indifference exhibited by the police and the Union Councils towards the woman’s suffering, which plays a crucial role in compelling abused women towards reconciliation.

“Minor fights at home are common. There are multiple reasons behind why a woman is beaten up at home,” justified Rashid Karamat Butt, former Chairman of the Local Union Council of Wagah Town, who further confirmed that the Union Council tried its very best to peacefully resolve cases of domestic violence so that marriages are not broken.

Speaking to The Express Tribune on the matter, the Chairperson of the National Commission for Dignified Women, Neelofar Bakhtiar said, “I have written a letter to the Chief Justice of Pakistan, urging him to play a role in preventing the increasing incidents of gender based violence against women. He has assured that immediate and effective steps will be taken to reduce the incidence of the vice plaguing the lives of women.

Published in The Express Tribune, November 26^th, 2023.

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