Movie review: Friends with kids

Spoiler alert!

To begin with, Friends With Kids is a movie that isn’t worth the film it was shot on (unless it was digital, which I’m pretty sure it wasn’t).

To say the plot is flawed is a major understatement — this one’s pretty much without a plot. Jason (Adam Scott) and Julie (Jennifer Westfeldt) are two longtime friends who, after seeing how having kids have destroyed the lives of their friends, decide to make a baby of their own.

That is obviously the most logical thing to do in a situation like that, right?

There are problems, though: Julie’s bust size is not to Jason’s liking and Julie is not too ecstatic about sleeping with Jason.

But as is the case with most problems of our century, there’s always a solution.

The couple decides to take inspiration from porn. Fortunately for us, conception takes place after their very first attempt, and from there the film takes a turn to being all about raising the perfect baby.

Ironically, the baby hardly ever cries and has diarrhoea only once in the first four or five years of his life.

The parents take turns at ‘raising’ him while dating other, more ‘attractive’ suitors, until one day Julie realises she’s been in love with Jason all along.

Eventually Jason also gives up on the dream of being with a woman whose bust size would satisfy him (Megan Fox, in this case), realising that he too has been in love with the mother of his kid without knowing it.

I’m not saying I haven’t seen worse films, but Friends With Kids is definitely one of the most forgettable films of recent times.

It’s the kind of film where you can’t really analyse the acting of the cast because there isn’t enough meat in the role itself.

Jennifer Westfeldt is so terrible in her role, she makes you wish you were watching a Jennifer Aniston film instead.

Throughout the hundred odd minutes of runtime, I found myself secretly wishing I would find a reason that justified Jennifer Westfeldt’s presence in the film, and it was only later that I realised she was the writer and director of the film as well.

That explains that.

Actor Adam Scott, who looks like he’s one nose job away from being Tom Cruise, is eye candy for the viewers but he doesn’t look comfortable in his role.

Friends With Kids boasts of a decent cast including actors Chris O’Dowd, Maya Rudolph and Jon Hamm, all of whom are wasted in roles that don’t do justice to their potential.

More than the flawed script and the terrible acting of the female lead, the biggest problem with Friends With Kids is that it fails to serve any purpose; instead the film leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

This film is as much a romantic comedy as the Taliban is a peacekeeping force.

If romantic comedies are date-night films, this one’s a breakup film. So if you’ve been thinking about breaking up with your partner, do it over this film. It’ll be fun, trust me.

Published in The Express Tribune, Sunday Magazine, September 2^nd, 2012.