Nicole Kidman says she was 'beyond lonely' the night she won her Oscar

“I’d love to be able to just, you know, be wrapped in somebody’s arms right now,” she recalled

Nicole Kidman has opened up about the unexpected loneliness she felt on the night she won her first Oscar, revealing that the career-defining achievement left her wishing she had a partner to share the moment with.

The actress discussed the experience during an appearance on Jake Shane’s Therapuss podcast on Thursday, September 10, while promoting Practical Magic 2. Kidman, 59, recalled winning the Academy Award for Best Actress in 2003 for her performance as Virginia Woolf in The Hours.

Despite reaching what she described as the “pinnacle” of her professional success, Kidman said she returned home feeling deeply alone.

“I was beyond lonely,” she said. “I had the pinnacle of my success, and I went home and was so lonely.”

At the time, Kidman had been divorced from Tom Cruise for around two years. The former couple had married in 1990 and announced their split in 2001.

Kidman explained that her parents were with her on Oscar night, but she found herself thinking about the absence of a romantic partner with whom she could share such a significant achievement.

“I had my mom with me and my dad, but I was like, ‘Where’s my partner, someone that I can share this with?’” she recalled.

The experience became a turning point for Kidman, who said it made her realise that professional success alone was not enough to make her feel fulfilled.

“It was one of the most profound moments where I went, ‘I’ve got to get a life,’” she said, reflecting on the contrast between holding one of Hollywood’s most prestigious awards and feeling emotionally isolated.

Kidman described her feelings at the time simply as “weird”, adding that she wanted the kind of emotional connection that would make the achievement feel like something she could share with another person.

“I’d love to be able to just, you know, be wrapped in somebody’s arms right now,” she said.

Kidman has previously spoken about the complicated emotions surrounding her Oscar victory. In Dave Karger’s 2024 book 50 Oscar Nights, she recalled that her professional life was flourishing while she was struggling privately.

“I was struggling with things in my personal life, yet my professional life was going so well,” she said at the time.

She also revealed that she initially did not want to attend the Vanity Fair Oscar party following her victory. Kidman said she felt uncomfortable with the idea of carrying her Academy Award through the party because she worried it would appear as though she was “gloating”.

After being persuaded to attend, however, the actress said she became overwhelmed and emotional.

“I literally walked in, carried it around, was completely overwhelmed, emotional, shaking, and I didn’t enjoy it,” she recalled.

Kidman later described going back to the Beverly Hills Hotel, ordering takeaway and eating on the floor with her family before going to bed before midnight.

“That’s when it hit me,” she said in the book. “I went, ‘I need to find my love, I need a love in my life.’”

Kidman eventually married country music star Keith Urban in 2006, and the couple had two daughters, Sunday Rose and Faith Margaret. Their marriage ended in divorce in 2026 after nearly two decades together.

Her latest reflection comes as Kidman enters another major period in her career. She is currently promoting Practical Magic 2, in which she reprises her role as Gillian Owens alongside Sandra Bullock, nearly three decades after the original film.

The actress continues to balance major film and television projects with her work as a producer, having built a career that has included an Oscar-winning performance, multiple Emmy wins and numerous acclaimed roles.

For Kidman, however, her memories of Oscar night remain a reminder that professional recognition does not necessarily translate into personal happiness.

Her 2003 victory remains one of the defining achievements of her career, but as she reflected on the night years later, the moment also exposed how much she wanted someone beside her to share it with.