Unacceptable solutions on dowry violence: call for genuine advocacy

In an era dominated by data-driven initiatives and tech-infused solutions, I often find myself questioning how much of this genuinely contributes to a world free of violence against women and girls. How effectively does it enhance their safety? While men can also suffer from sexual and partner violence, it is women who disproportionately bear the burden. Research consistently indicates that women are more likely to experience repeated sexual violence, more severe physical assaults and long-term psychological trauma. This violence does not exclusively emanate from intimate partners or spouses, it extends to other family members, including in-laws.

Inequality, agency, empowerment and women's rights should be central to the value system of all those who can make a difference. Yet, it perplexes me that issues like Gender-Based Violence (GBV), Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG), or even the concept of gender equality itself must be framed as a business case to command attention. According to the UN, approximately 47,000 women and girls were murdered by intimate partners or family members in 2020, translating to a woman or girl being killed every 11 minutes by someone within her own family. These alarming figures have seen little change over the past decade. Even more disturbing is the fact that such information remains mere statistics and fails to disturb those who control resources and power.

What is occurring in our own communities? How many of us truly recognise the deeply entrenched practice of dowry violence? This form of violence is often buried under the broad umbrella of domestic violence, depriving it of the focused attention it desperately requires. Having worked on this issue for over two decades - confronting dowry demands, extravagant weddings and societal pressures and demonstrating the direct impact of this Institutionalisation of Dowry Systems on low status of women, femicide, son preference, girl child marriage, mismatched marriages and mental health - I am disheartened that dowry violence continues to lack recognition, despite its prevalence across all regions and socio-economic strata in Pakistan.

Dowry violence is distinct; it is normalised, socially endorsed and legally ignored, devastating not only women but entire families. Throughout the years, I have initiated numerous unfunded efforts to spotlight this crisis, but elite feminism, elite activism and corporate interests in media and social development business have pushed it aside, preventing it from receiving the focus it deserves in discussions of VAWG or GBV.

Ironically, many policymakers in Pakistan still regard feminism as a donor-driven issue. Thus more and more barriers are created to reject the existence of such violence. Reporting the violence is another uphill task and procedures are seldom survivor friendly. Dowry violence festers in this neglect, leaving survivors to suffer in silence. A larger majority of donors groups are uninformed and uninterested in this form of violence.

In my years in the non-profit sector, I have witnessed resources diverted to those with limited or even incorrect understandings, while exclusionary practices by women's organisations and UN agencies remained unchecked. Civil society, vibrant yet selective, often fears consequences or embraces "pragmatism".

The diplomatic shortcomings of women's commissions are rarely addressed. We must acknowledge that these platforms, designed to empower disadvantaged women and elevate all women's status, often serve as political proxies, primarily enhancing the status of influential women. As a result, so-called changemakers in social development frequently operate within lobbies, if not outright mafias.

How can we expect real impact under these conditions?

Dowry demands are deeply embedded in societal expectations, fueling violence against women and reducing them to mere commodities. Tragically, we continue to rely on ineffective interventions and societal indifference that is hard to dismantle. One of the most harmful responses to dowry violence has been the reliance on charity-driven models and hollow political promises.

Politicians and charitable organisations frequently offer temporary financial aid or fleeting ceremonial initiatives as solutions to gender-based violence, including dowry-related abuse. However, this approach is not only ineffective, it is deeply insulting. Women's rights are non-negotiable. Treating them as optional favours does nothing to challenge the structural patriarchy that underpins dowry violence.

Women in Pakistan deserve more than token gestures; they deserve dignity, justice, and the assurance that they will not be subjected to violence due to outdated societal norms. Despite the numerous lives shattered by dowry violence, government interventions in Pakistan remain woefully inadequate. Dowry demands, injuries and deaths are neither recognised nor cognisable, and existing not so tough anti-dowry laws are seldom enforced. Survivors are left without meaningful legal or institutional support, while public discourse surrounding dowry violence is eclipsed by other issues. It is time for change.

Real change cannot arise from mastering algorithms and numbers, hiring so-called experts who lack empathy for the traumas of violence, or commissioning glamorous ambassadors.

True change necessitates stepping beyond our comfort zones. We need advocacy that boldly exposes the chasm between political rhetoric and actual policy action. This is not merely a favour to be granted, but a right that must be unwaveringly upheld.

I wonder if this year's 16 Days of Activism will take into account dowry violence with authentic stakeholders, or if the story of inaction and unacceptable solutions will remain hidden beneath the dazzling campaigns of expensive fashion designers apparently promoting an anti-child marriage agenda on supposedly meaningful platforms.