Perks of being a wallflower

To tell you the truth, I did not know the meaning of ‘wallflower’ until after I saw the 2012 movie recently.

For the most part, the word is often used to describe a loner who stays quiet in social gatherings. But I wonder whether there is something essentially bad to it.

Mostly, in contemporary times, it is considered harmful to be a wallflower if one wants to attain success in personal, academic or professional life. One is urged to be aggressive and dominant in order to be ‘noticeable’ among others. That is the formula to succeed in life — pure and simple.

Still, is success all there is to life?

For someone like me, the struggle to pretend and push yourself against your personality trait is too tiring and exhausting to even think of.

It might be true that by failing to follow this ‘more acceptable’ path, I would end up a failure in life. But I guess I am okay with that for now. For me, the comfort I enjoy by being myself cannot be matched.

My two best friends at work are my headphones and my tea mug, and in all fairness, these are the only friends who I like spending my time with. A stroll in the garden in the evenings, a nice meal without company, watching the latest Game of Thrones episode alone, are all that I need to have a satisfactory life.

The problem is that we have a set of social standards — with what is acceptable and unacceptable already outlined. And this is not specific to our society, but can be found everywhere. Companies want ‘leaders for tomorrow’ and employers want ‘the best work possible’.

But if we all follow the same path, then there would be no diversity among people. As a professor of mine at university once said that a crowd is often criticised for being disorganised, however, there is something beautiful about the crowd for it holds no bias, doesn’t tell you to conform and above all, it accepts everyone.

Therefore, wallflowers shouldn’t be disparaged and ridiculed based on perceived notions about them for they might be happy in their own little world.

Published in The Express Tribune, June 1^st, 2016.