10 things I hate about winter

Published: October 16, 2011

Gas bills. You think you’re being ripped off by Wapda and KESC?

1.    Its non-existence. Yes, it can get quite chilly in Islamabad, maybe even below freezing — but there is no snow. And if there is one thing being reared on stories of Rudolph and his red nose has taught me, it is that winter means snow.

2.    Gas bills. You think you’re being ripped off by Wapda and KESC? Try running a gas heater during winter. If I can be charged Rs4,000 rupees a month for simply cooking two meals on a stove, I shudder to imagine how much of my measly salary will go towards paying heating bills.

3.   Apparel inconveniences.  It’s cold out on the street so you have to wear a sweater. But central heating has made your office warm and toasty so off comes the sweater. Want to sneak out for a quick smoke? Time to bundle up again.

4.    Deadly drivers. I never learned to drive a car so I never get behind the wheel. It’s a simple enough concept but one most Pakistanis refuse to abide by. In summer, they can still get away with it. But with the rain and sleet in winter they go from annoying to life-threatening.

5.    Weather forecasters. “We expect it to be cold and miserable tomorrow.” No one ever paid me to state the obvious.

6.    The end of sports. Tennis is on hiatus, the golf season has ended and even European football goes on its annual Christmas vacation. All you can do in winter is stay at home and watch TV; unfortunately there’s nothing on.

7.    Sickness. Since it’s winter, it’s invariable you will get the flu. There is no cure for the flu, so you just have to wait it out. Well, you could take an ice-cold shower. Then you’d get pneumonia and there is a cure for that. Or you may die.

8.    Scarf smell. Many people like to cover their precious noses and mouths with scarves. Soon those scarves are covered with snot and drool. Then we have to smell it as they sit in the cubicle next to us.

9.    The music. Even in the Islamic Republic of Pakistan, we are not spared the blight of Christmas music. Christmas music is to music what TV news is to actual news, a pale, annoying imitation of the real thing.

10.   It gets worse. As terrible as winter is — and it is terrible — have you ever spent a summer in Pakistan? The weather just never leaves us alone.

Published in The Express Tribune, Sunday Magazine, October 16th, 2011.

Reader Comments (23)

  • Sabih Zafar Ullah
    Oct 16, 2011 - 1:56PM

    For the poor, middle, and lower middle classes; ravaged by the load-shedding. Winters bring a few nights of peaceful sleep.

    Recommend

  • Ahmed
    Oct 16, 2011 - 2:07PM

    Crappy article…waste of time and publishing space!

    Recommend

  • Ahmad Butt
    Oct 16, 2011 - 2:08PM

    Excellent write-up! :)

    ROFL @ Scarf smell..

    Recommend

  • Aro
    Oct 16, 2011 - 2:33PM

    Ignore the critics… Very funny article. Some people have no sense of humor

    Recommend

  • lahori
    Oct 16, 2011 - 2:38PM

    And getting up for school in the morning.. oh it gets so difficult to get out of there.

    Recommend

  • Unbiased
    Oct 16, 2011 - 2:49PM

    @Ahmed:
    Yet you read it. Why?

    Recommend

  • Supressed, Opressed, Depressed
    Oct 16, 2011 - 3:38PM

    Nice one, cracked me up.

    Recommend

  • Oct 16, 2011 - 3:51PM

    Please don’t give up your morning job!

    Recommend

  • Umar
    Oct 16, 2011 - 4:50PM

    I always liked Winter… its a change from summer and its pretty short in PK

    Recommend

  • Sabih Zafar Ullah
    Oct 16, 2011 - 5:49PM

    @Unbiased How could he have formed an opinion without reading it?

    Recommend

  • positive pakistani
    Oct 16, 2011 - 6:39PM

    I just clicked on this page to tell that….”i hate people who hate winters” ….I’ll never read what you’ve said above :)Recommend

  • Hareem
    Oct 16, 2011 - 8:11PM

    Atleast its better than summers!

    Recommend

  • Khan
    Oct 16, 2011 - 8:16PM

    Learn to drive!

    Recommend

  • Sweet Dee
    Oct 16, 2011 - 8:34PM

    And if there is one thing being reared on stories of Rudolph and his red nose has taught me, it is that winter means snow.

    Really? A Pakistani reared on stories of rudolph? lol

    Recommend

  • Oct 16, 2011 - 9:47PM

    I always preferred freeze winter but short in Pakistan comparing to Pakistan summers.

    One always has to remember; there is not good without bad. So this is so.

    Recommend

  • kachookooma
    Oct 17, 2011 - 3:02AM

    I read the article and thought ..oh dear what a poor little girl until i saw the author was a male and felt that awkward moment of sissiness in the air..

    Recommend

  • Saad
    Oct 17, 2011 - 4:28AM

    I hate lots of things other than mentioned above but i like boil eggs.

    Recommend

  • Dr. Adeel
    Oct 17, 2011 - 9:20AM

    well, for doctors its the earning season!!!
    its obviously better then summer, especially in Karachi.Recommend

  • Saad Ullah
    Oct 17, 2011 - 11:45AM

    I love winterss!! Life would have been really incomplete without it!

    I wish there could a freezing sort of weather in Karachi as well!! Winters in Khi dissapoint me alot! U cant even wear a jacket in Khi! =S

    Recommend

  • omartng
    Oct 17, 2011 - 11:07PM

    winters in lahore are chilly but not chilly enough!!! I WANT SNOWWWWWWWW!

    Recommend

  • farah
    Oct 19, 2011 - 3:54AM

    you didnt mention the worst…. muslim showers with endless cold water!

    Recommend

  • Zahra
    Oct 20, 2011 - 6:15PM

    Stop complaining please! =S

    Recommend

  • Nov 6, 2011 - 5:25AM

    I agree. You r right. At least such creative things should be appreciated open heartedly.@Aro:

    Recommend

More in Magazine