A blowhard called Trump
He’s today’s poster boy cause he’s a showman in country that likes watching shows — that believes politics is showbiz
The writer is a journalist with over 30 years of experience
Someone who talks too much and who has strong opinions other people dislike, that’s who Donald Trump is. The real estate tycoon-turned-presidential candidate is leading the opinion polls in America. He is a nightmare for the Republican Party whom he represents. Vanish, get lost, disappear — they pray he would, but the 69-year-old with a puffy florid face and bizarre hairdo has hit the airwaves ever since he announced his 2016 bid for the White House.
“Donald Trump is an unstable element inserted into an unsettled environment,” writes Peggy Noonan in The Wall Street Journal, “sooner or later, there will be a boom.” Well the ‘boom’ may come as early as today when he debates the other nine Republican candidates on Fox News. Fumble he can on foreign policy; stumble he may on homeland security; fall flat on his face he could on statecraft. No, not at all! Boasts Trump, who openly mocks his fellow candidates as idiots. The more he delivers his kick-ass verbal bouts, the more the media listens. He’s today’s poster boy because he’s a showman in a country that likes to watch shows — a country that believes all politics is showbiz, and all politicians are entertainers of varying degrees of competence, says Noonan. “At least Mr Trump is honest about it.”
Doesn’t speak much about the intellect of American voters who prefer a billionaire with a big mouth to politicians like Hillary Clinton or Jeb Bush. Mrs Clinton will make a “terrible president”, rants Trump. “She was the worst secretary of state in the history of the US. There’s never been a secretary of state so bad as Hillary. The world blew up around us.” Jeb Bush, too, gets a mouthful from Trump: “You like ‘Mexican illegals’ because of your wife” (who is Mexican). Trump hates illegal Mexican immigrants: They “have lots of problems … They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.”
He’s not bothered abusing the 54 million and counting Mexicans living in America today. Why should he? The four-billion-dollar man is on a ‘festival of narcissism’. Thrice married, with five children ranging from 37-year-old Eric Trump to nine-year-old Baron Trump, his latest wife, Melania, is 24 years his junior. Propped up by wealth and a trophy wife, the real estate mogul promises to change America for good. For starters, ‘President Trump’ will launch his ‘administration’ into a massive building project — and a massive manhunt — both at once. He just can’t bear to see yet one more ‘criminal’, a ‘rapist’ or a ‘dope dealer’ smuggle in from Mexico. Therefore, he’ll build a long, impenetrable wall. Alongside, he’ll build America’s crumbling infrastructure anew — airports, train tracks, bridges, roads et al.
In other words, Trump will go on a building spree! Does he remind you of someone back in Pakistan? Someone who loves to build motorways, expressways, overhead or underpasses, and metro buses, even if that means digging up half of Islamabad or cutting down trees to clear pathways? The funds for Nawaz Sharif’s grandiose building mania come out of the paltry taxpayers’ money collected by the salaried classes because the fat cats sitting in parliament, businessmen and feudals cheat big-time on taxes and get away with it. But Trump, the shrewd businessman unlike our illustrious Nawaz Sharif, plans to get China and Mexico to pay for his building spree. China will pay for new tariffs while Mexico will pay for America’s new border wall!
Mr Prime Minister, are you listening? In my humble view, Nawaz Sharif should get his hobbits in the PM Secretariat to lay hands on Trump’s mini-library on how to succeed in business. Books like The Art of the Deal, Think BIG and Kick Ass in Business and Life, Trump 101: The Way to Success, Think Big: Make It Happen in Business and Life and many more. But I forget, our prime minister is not an avid reader; he’s an avid gourmand. Nothing wrong in being a foodie, but there’s more to life than aloo gosht! Especially when you’re the captain of a country racked with terrorism, poverty and corruption. Meanwhile, enjoy Trump’s fireworks and watch for a ‘boom’ finale!
Published in The Express Tribune, August 6th, 2015.
“Donald Trump is an unstable element inserted into an unsettled environment,” writes Peggy Noonan in The Wall Street Journal, “sooner or later, there will be a boom.” Well the ‘boom’ may come as early as today when he debates the other nine Republican candidates on Fox News. Fumble he can on foreign policy; stumble he may on homeland security; fall flat on his face he could on statecraft. No, not at all! Boasts Trump, who openly mocks his fellow candidates as idiots. The more he delivers his kick-ass verbal bouts, the more the media listens. He’s today’s poster boy because he’s a showman in a country that likes to watch shows — a country that believes all politics is showbiz, and all politicians are entertainers of varying degrees of competence, says Noonan. “At least Mr Trump is honest about it.”
Doesn’t speak much about the intellect of American voters who prefer a billionaire with a big mouth to politicians like Hillary Clinton or Jeb Bush. Mrs Clinton will make a “terrible president”, rants Trump. “She was the worst secretary of state in the history of the US. There’s never been a secretary of state so bad as Hillary. The world blew up around us.” Jeb Bush, too, gets a mouthful from Trump: “You like ‘Mexican illegals’ because of your wife” (who is Mexican). Trump hates illegal Mexican immigrants: They “have lots of problems … They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.”
He’s not bothered abusing the 54 million and counting Mexicans living in America today. Why should he? The four-billion-dollar man is on a ‘festival of narcissism’. Thrice married, with five children ranging from 37-year-old Eric Trump to nine-year-old Baron Trump, his latest wife, Melania, is 24 years his junior. Propped up by wealth and a trophy wife, the real estate mogul promises to change America for good. For starters, ‘President Trump’ will launch his ‘administration’ into a massive building project — and a massive manhunt — both at once. He just can’t bear to see yet one more ‘criminal’, a ‘rapist’ or a ‘dope dealer’ smuggle in from Mexico. Therefore, he’ll build a long, impenetrable wall. Alongside, he’ll build America’s crumbling infrastructure anew — airports, train tracks, bridges, roads et al.
In other words, Trump will go on a building spree! Does he remind you of someone back in Pakistan? Someone who loves to build motorways, expressways, overhead or underpasses, and metro buses, even if that means digging up half of Islamabad or cutting down trees to clear pathways? The funds for Nawaz Sharif’s grandiose building mania come out of the paltry taxpayers’ money collected by the salaried classes because the fat cats sitting in parliament, businessmen and feudals cheat big-time on taxes and get away with it. But Trump, the shrewd businessman unlike our illustrious Nawaz Sharif, plans to get China and Mexico to pay for his building spree. China will pay for new tariffs while Mexico will pay for America’s new border wall!
Mr Prime Minister, are you listening? In my humble view, Nawaz Sharif should get his hobbits in the PM Secretariat to lay hands on Trump’s mini-library on how to succeed in business. Books like The Art of the Deal, Think BIG and Kick Ass in Business and Life, Trump 101: The Way to Success, Think Big: Make It Happen in Business and Life and many more. But I forget, our prime minister is not an avid reader; he’s an avid gourmand. Nothing wrong in being a foodie, but there’s more to life than aloo gosht! Especially when you’re the captain of a country racked with terrorism, poverty and corruption. Meanwhile, enjoy Trump’s fireworks and watch for a ‘boom’ finale!
Published in The Express Tribune, August 6th, 2015.