Deepika dealing with demons

Bollywood superstar opens up about her struggle with anxiety and depression

In the public eye, Bollywood sensation Deepika Padukone has spent the last two years at the peak of her career. On the inside, it’s a whole other story. Despite all her success, the Happy New Year star has found herself battling depression and anxiety, the Hindustan Times reported.

The actor revealed that she is working towards overcoming her struggles. “I thought it was stress, so I tried to distract myself by focusing on work, and surrounding myself with people, which helped for a while. But the nagging feeling didn’t go away. My breath was shallow, I suffered from lack of concentration and I broke down often,” the actor confessed.



The Bollywood fashion icon said she “woke up feeling different” in 2004, just around the time she was beginning to be appreciated for her work. Deepika said she had fainted due to exhaustion a day before, and claims “it was all downhill from there. I felt a strange emptiness in my stomach.”

The reigning star said she maintained a facade every time her parents visited, so as to not worry them further, since they were already concerned about her working long hours and living alone.

However, she later did end up breaking down in front of her mother, Ujjala Padukone.

“My mother realised the problem, and got in touch with a psychologist friend, Anna Chandy, to get to the root of the cause,” Deepika said.

“Every morning, it was a struggle to wake up, and shoot for Happy New Year’s climax. Finally, I had a word with Anna aunty and I talked my heart out to her. She concluded that I was suffering from anxiety and depression,” the actor shared.

Her psychologist suggested that she take medication, but Deepika resisted, saying, “I thought talking was enough.”

“The counselling helped, but only to an extent. Then, I took medication, and today I am much better.”

Deepika said she experienced a “roller-coaster of feelings,” and that she would feel fine on some days, but other times, not so much.

Interestingly, she said the filming of the movie Happy New Year was “shot through this phase.”

After filming Happy New Year, she decided to take a break and spend time with her family in Bangalore. However, upon her return to Mumbai, she was hit with devastating news of the death of her friend — who had committed suicide due to depression. This incident prompted her to spread awareness on the subject: “There is shame and stigma attached to talking about depression. In fact, one in every four people suffers from anxiety and depression. I now value my life much more. Accepting it and speaking about it has liberated me. I have stopped taking medication, and I hope my example will help people reach out for help.”

Published in The Express Tribune, January 17^th, 2015.

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