Of denials, mortification & sexual harassment

Scenario 1

It’s another weekday morning and you’re ready to face the day. You step into your office, cheerfully greeting co-workers across a line of desks while making your way to your cubicle when suddenly you are stopped midway by a rather awkward hug from your senior colleague. This is followed by an unduly appreciative once over: “You look gorgeous,” he says, prompting you to give yourself a quick glance and see if you are dressed appropriately. Your morning is spoilt and the day is no better: full of awkward ‘sweeties,’ perplexing ‘darlings’ and off-colour jokes. All this makes it hard for you to focus on work but well, it’s his habit and so you let it go.

Scenario 2

Struggling with differential equations in your math class, you raise your hand for the teacher’s assistance. Your teacher is prompt and walks straight towards you. However, while explaining the sum, he leans far too much on you, his arm circling you. You feel a bit weird but quickly try and understand the sum to get it over with. As you get your answer right, you’re ‘rewarded’ with a pat/‘rub’ on your back by your mentor. You walk out of the class feeling shaken and violated, but then you laugh it off with your friends.

If your boss asks you for favours in return for a promotion while you’re left wondering if you’re at fault or if your colleague’s vulgar jokes are making you feel uncomfortable, it’s time to stop living in denial and start considering the possibility that you are being sexually harassed.

Some might confuse sexual harassment with rape or abuse but harassment constitutes offences which are less serious and can be anything from a mere gesture or text message to a physical assault. The Alliance Against Sexual Harassment defines harassment as “any unwelcome advance, request for sexual favours or other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature, when it interferes with work, is made a condition of employment or creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive work environment.”

So while a certain behaviour may well be your senior’s personality trait, if it makes you feel stressed and deprives you of your rightful position at work, it counts as an offence under the Protection from Harassment at Workplace Bill.

The problem with sexual harassment is that it does not seem like ‘a big deal’ — a brush in the hallway, a lewd remark, a vulgar gesture — at first a victim may feel that there is hardly anything to report. Depending on your personality and the seriousness of the harassment, your reaction may range from annoyance to serious humiliation. But, because these things impinge on your personal space and affect your performance at work, with time, you find that you’re avoiding going into certain areas, speaking up in meetings and even bypassing opportunities for growth just to keep away from the harasser. This is when the gravity of the situation hits you. Still, you wonder, is it worth speaking up about?

To some women, this might seem like the quickest way to call their own reputation into question. Some of the questions that can come up once she complains are: “Why did she wear what she was wearing?” “Why did she meet him in the first place?” And, of course, the inescapable “She must have done something to provoke him.”



Maliha Hussain, the director of Mehergarh, a centre for human rights education and support says, “Sexual harassment is a stigmatised issue in Pakistan. Women who dare to speak out are often blamed for inviting and encouraging men because they were either dressed ‘inappropriately’ or were ‘too friendly.’ On the other hand, the behaviour of men is often taken for granted: men are like that. It is a woman’s job to protect herself and be able to prevent sexual harassment.”

Although Pakistan is the only South Asian country with a law against sexual harassment, it is still considered valid sport for men rather than a serious crime. In some spheres such as hospitals and the aviation industry, harassment is institutionlised. In 2009, a senior anchorperson at Dunya News caused a stir when she accused a senior representative of management at Dunya TV for continuously harassing her and asking her for favors in return for a promotion. Nosheen Abbass reported the incident in The Huffington Post but despite all the hype, the inquiry was delayed and the anchorperson eventually had to resign from her post.

Unlike her, most women choose to stay silent, especially those who belong to conservative backgrounds and fear that if they complain their permission to step out in the professional world will be withdrawn. This also means that harassment has serious repercussions on the participation of women in the work force.

According to a research study conducted by Dr. Sadaf Ahmad and published by Mehergarh, a stunning 93% of women in the public and private sectors have reported experiencing some form of sexual harassment — this means that most of the women you know have been harassed at some point in their lives. Of these, 76% women have never bothered reporting the incident. So what do you do when something like this happens to you — bearing in mind that chances are high that it will?

• Be aware. A sexual harassment law now exists in Pakistan under which the accused, if proven guilty by a court of law, will be sentenced to three years of jail. Moreover, it is now mandatory for every registered company to form a three-member inquiry committee with at least one woman on board to investigate such acts. If you are a victim, know that you have recourse to justice, rather than despairing or choosing to withdraw from your job.



• Do not delay reporting the crime. Some women report the offence only after a lot of thinking but if a considerable time has elapsed, it will be that much harder to prove the crime. By its very nature, sexual harassment is hard to prove in the first place so delaying reporting can make it even more difficult. Mahnaz Rahman, resident director of Aurat Foundation in Karachi says, “Men know tactics to escape these situations, especially when they know that the woman is timid and submissive. For example, in the office they might walk past you deliberately touching you but they will display it as an unconscious mistake and there is no way to prove that it wasn’t one.”

• Be confident. Is this just in your head or is he actually harassing you? If it’s a senior colleague or teacher with a respectable public image, it can be hard to believe that this is happening. Remember that ‘private harassers’ often cultivate a public image which is at odds with how they will behave in private with you.

• Do say “NO!” If a colleague is behaving inappropriately, and you are unsure whether it’s deliberate, speak up and tell him that the behaviour is unwanted. This is better than mulling over your fears. Not only does this gives him a chance to correct his behaviour (assuming that it has not been deliberate) it also makes your case stronger in case he continues acting aggressively.

• Do not appear submissive or scared to the aggressor. This can contribute towards the promotion of sexual harassment and lead on the harasser. “Silence will only make the harasser feel like he has complete power over you or mislead him into assuming that you are equally interested,” says Hussain.



• Do not smile when you say “NO!” Women often find it hard to say no and are likely to soften their refusal by smiling or similar gestures. You are unlikely to discourage your aggressor this way. There is a certain body language that needs to be adopted in order to tackle such advances: firm voice, serious face, strong posture and a very clear message that tells the culprit that you will not let it pass next time.

• If you are uncertain about whether you are being harassed or if the harassment is hard to prove or such that you are unsure if it is criminal, maintain a diary of what is happening. Maliha Hussain says, “Women who come across such awkward situations repeatedly must maintain a log of who said what and where and how it made them feel so that at any time that they decide to file a formal complaint, the information comes in handy.”

• Do tell someone about your experience. “It is very important to confide in somebody when you face harassment of any kind. Share it with somebody you trust so that person can act as a witness later to support your case if needed,” says Maliha Hussain. This way you have one person who is aware of what you are going through and can testify against the harasser; it can also give you moral support during a difficult time.

• Do not delete evidence. If you have received inappropriate texts, tweets or emails, do not delete them. Reply to them with a firm “NO” and save the evidence for when you report the offence.

Apart from the fear of losing your freedom and reputation, there are also no guarantees of security and protection from the harasser. Just last month, a female pilot at PIA, appeared before the Supreme Court accusing the higher management of continuously harassing and victimising her. She complained that ever since she reported on the unacceptable behaviour of two male colleagues, the higher management began deliberately targeting her and creating hurdles in her promotion. She added that victimising female employees was common practice in the national organisation. This incident shows that, despite having a legal mechanism in place, there are still numerous loopholes that need to be filled, starting from widespread implementation of the law to developing faith in the integrity of law and order institutions. The day men are afraid of being punished severely will also be the day when women will feel safer filing a complaint.

Published in The Express Tribune, Ms T, April 7^th, 2013.

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