Affectionately known as Naheed Apa not only among her near and dear ones, but also the people met, groomed or worked with, Naheed Ansari devoted over 35 years of her life for socio-cultural transformation of women. But that is broad term. She was actually the first woman in Pakistan who pioneered the idea of grooming girls for finesse in being cultured, well-mannered, and refined for a civilised and polished society.

A journalist *Faiza Naeem who began her career from a women’s magazine remembers how she was amazed each week Naheed Ansari sent in her weekly contribution to the magazine. “She taught women the ABC of baking, cooking and serving,” says Naeem. “She would make layered cakes to pound tea cakes to delicate tea sandwiches, serve fruit mocktails with quaint little umbrellas and cut fruit in the 80s, when no one knew a brownie from a chocolate gateau.”

She wanted to see young women to be ace at managing the house, not just efficiently but also beautifully and economically. She would be able to create incredibly beautiful art and craft out of junk, at a time when recycling was neither a buzzword nor a crucial concept. At her finishing school that she started from her home, girls taught table manners, how to fold napkins, how to use cutlery and how to lay a table for tea, breakfast, luncheon or a formal dinner. It wasn’t just about etiquettes and manners; it was about the finer things of life, doing them better and with finesse.

When I joined the Women’s Own magazine, I came to know Naheed Ansari — a name that with time became synonymous with culinary art. She was the guru for all of us who want to look after are families and homes traditionally, efficiently and beautifully!” says another journalist Huma Khawar.

One of the best and senior contemporary chefs of Pakistan, Ansari was an inspiration to many in the culinary industry today. Her proficiency and talent led us far beyond the kitchenette and its paraphernalia, as she grew into a cultural benchmark for food enthusiasts across the society and generations. Her television programmes not only captivated audiences in Pakistan but also by Pakistanis living round the globe.

When showered with praise, she would often deflect it by paying tribute to her mother and mother-in-law. She considered them her mentors and guiding lights, who steered her right in all aspects of life, both as a daughter and a daughter-in-law.

Ansari believed that love, kindness and politeness can lead the youth back on track at personal, familial, social, professional or academic levels. Food and cooking, according to her, is a major bond between a mother and her children, in particular, and among the family, in general, because when you cook with love and present it with warmth and kindness, it creates a pure relationship of love between the presenter and the receiver. This way children tend to enjoy home-cooked food and eating at home more compared to eating out or getting food delivered.

Once, while talking about her cooking shows on TV, Ansari said that she was interested in cooking and decorative presentation of dishes because she grew up in a pure Eastern and traditional family environment.

“When I was blessed with my first child, we moved to Dubai for my husband’s job,” she had recalled. “We had a lot of guests visiting our home which included people from different communities and regional backgrounds. For dinners and other occasions, I learnt to make Lebanese, Arabian and other dishes for dinners and special occasions and my cooking and hospitality started receiving more and more appreciation. Once, Riaz Ahmad Mansuri was our guest at a dinner and he was delighted to sample all the different dishes I had made. He suggested that I should start a cookery page in the magazine. This way, I became connected to my first circle of readers.”

Eventually, Ansari received a call from Mr Ghazanfar Ali from PTV, and he offered her to start a live cooking show. It was a great challenge for her but she agreed to go ahead with it. She remembered being motivated and encouraged by Bushra Ansari and Anwar Maqsood.

Ansari’s cookery shows were not about glamour or gimmicks. People watched her shows because they felt that it was like a family member or friend was showing them a recipe to make something new and delicious. Not many people know that she was married to the younger brother of the (late) popular TV actor Jamshed Ansari.

She was the Founding Director at Creative Hands by Naheed Ansari, an institute where she imparted training and mentored young women to learn etiquettes, manners, home economics, art and craft. Her summer courses in cooking and baking were widely acclaimed where she always transferred her extensive knowledge to would-be chefs and passionate home-cooking lovers. She believed in prepping, processing, finishing and above all, presenting the prepared food to family members and guests with refinement so that your entire effort would make a lasting impression.

At her Naheed Ansari Finesse School, a small learning setup for junior chefs, she offered a wonderful environment for seven to 15-year-olds. She believed that it was crucial for elders to love, help, be kind and generous to young ones so that they in turn learn to respect, obey and regard their seniors appropriately.

During her last television interview, aired on Eid-ul-Azha on June 17, 2024, she spoke about traditional ways and manners of Eastern families and expressed her resolution to share with the younger generation the values she had learnt from her mother, mother-in-law and grandparents.

“There wasn’t no concept of spending Eid sleeping all day and saying that one is bored and tired like young people do in the present day,” she said. “We respected our father and elders, and were careful that we are not told off by them for any personal or home-related preparation for Eid or for it being even slightly off-mark that would displease them. Everybody had to be at the dining table right after Eid prayers and nobody could rest in his or her room at least until the family congregation at the table was over. It was a time of simplicity and purity with more pleasure and joy, and much less anxiety and ambitiousness that we see today among young people.”

“I was greatly inspired by her for she was not just a TV Host, a chef or a coach and trainer, but she was an altruistic, kind-hearted and a down-to-earth lover of humanity,” says Rimsha, one of Ansari’s students. “She was a genuine reformer and a valued institution in herself. Her extensive experience, innovative recipes, and practical tips have enriched the lives of millions. She brought exceptional brilliance to household management and the art of hospitality.”

Senior journalist Sheherbano Javed expressed her views about Ansari. “Naheed Apa was a kindhearted person with natural inclination towards social welfare,” says Javed. Once, I invited her to grace our small training setup for women with her presence and to deliver a motivational speech or lecture to the trainees. She immediately accepted it with gratitude and humility. At the event, she shared valuable messages and tips to the new learners.

Being actively involved in various charitable activities, she used her TV shows to promote social causes. Her philanthropic efforts, particularly in supporting women and children, were widely recognised and appreciated.

Not only her love for refinement, it was also her warm and approachable demeanour that endeared her to people who saw her as a mentor and friend.

“Naheed Apa was a helpful and caring person and a unique role model for many young women, who looked up to her for inspiration and guidance,” says Nazia Malik, TV host, actress and designer. “She was running full-fledged institutions for developing various skills and arts amongst young girls which is admirable because there is no such facility or option available otherwise in our part of world to provide this highly needed coaching and refinement. Her dedication, hard work, and passion for grooming and coaching girls in domestic expertise, manners, and etiquettes makes her inimitable amongst all other hosts. From minor details of domestic management, cooking, prerequisites for presentation such as decorating tables and even the correct way of making your bed, she really groomed young ladies.”

“Her cooking shows were a staple in many households, mine included, where her engaging presentation and expertise made complex recipes accessible to all,” says Faisal Malik, President Thespianz Foundation. “Watching her effortlessly create culinary masterpieces inspired me to experiment in my kitchen. With her guidance, I transitioned from a novice to a confident home cook, capable of recreating the delicious dishes she demonstrated. Naheed Apa's influence extended beyond television, as her passion for cooking ignited a similar passion in many of her viewers, including myself.”

In our society, this empowerment of women goes a long way in not only making them gracious and stylish hostesses but also nurturing the closeness and togetherness of a family as people live in well-kept homes and eat delicious food served with love at pretty tables. It is not about optics and cosmetics, it is a way of holding everyone together, especially in the present day when smartphones have killed family time and conversation.

Naheed Apa’s shows were not merely about cooking, they were about bringing families together, celebrating traditions, and creating memories around food. This extraordinary woman may not be with us anymore, her legacy continues to inspire and bring joy to countless homes and kitchens.

It reminds me of Louise Fresco’s golden words that read "Food, in the end, in our own tradition, is something holy. It's not about nutrients and calories. It's about sharing. It's about honesty. It's about identity."

*Name changed to protect privacy

Muttahir Ahmed Khan is an author, analyst, educationist, can be reached at muttahirahmedkhan@gmail.com

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