When only memes are loading

Documents stuck in cyberspace, voice notes not loading, messages not sending, and pictures remaining a tantalising blur – over the past few days, netizens across Pakistan have seen it all. With a political march unfolding across the capital, nationwide internet outages have been put in place as a security measure. The result? A dwindling speed of internet connectivity that continues to infuriate anyone with a data package, WhatsApp, Instagram and beyond.

Determined to rise above their misery, certain celebrities have chosen to battle their woes armed with the one thing Pakistanis flaunt best in trying times of load shedding, traffic jams, and yes, internet trouble: dry wit. Taking to his Instagram Stories, Bulbulay actor Nabeel Zafar penned in Urdu, "Today, the internet is moving along at the same as a bride in a lehnga."

Evidently thinking along the same lines, actor and television Faysal Quraishi unfurled a similar ace on his Instagram Stories. Spilling out his poetic version of internet speed in Urdu, the Khaie actor wrote, "The net is wobbling along as if it has just had a legs workout at the gym." An hour later, Faysal posted a philosophical update about how he is powering through regardless. "The net may not work, but the work goes on," he wrote in grim determination against a photo of himself casually leaning against a balcony railing as if resigned to fate.

Internet outages across the nation have cropped up in the past as a security measure or, as one particular meme illustrates, as a preventative measure during roadworks. "Did you know that Pakistan closed the internet during motorway maintenance works?" reads the meme, dated November 24. Highlighting the non-negotiable importance of a viable internet connection, one user in the comments section noted, "While it may have been for security or maintenance, it's a reminder of how dependent we've become on constant connectivity."

This is not the first time this year that widespread internet connectivity has become an issue across Pakistan. Back in August, when most of the country was celebrating Independence Day, the celebrations took on a dark overtone as yet again, many found themselves the victims of diminished internet speed. Amid scores of celebrities posting pictures of themselves decked out in white and green, VJ and model Anoushey Ashraf instead took the opportunity to turn to her Instagram Stories and pose some hard questions, beginning with the general state of the internet in the country.

"From demanding to get Paypal to begging to get [the] internet. We are heading to the stone age," wrote Anoushey, her disappointment evident. "The internet is barely working, voice notes won't download, pictures won't load, and even Facebook is crawling. Freelancers on Fiverr are getting their accounts suspended. And you still feel like celebrating August 14? Seriously?" In Urdu, Anoushey lamented, "We don't even have the basics anymore."

Anyone whose livelihood depends on a steady internet connection, of course, will have faced setbacks due to their current internet connection. Which, as we have learned, is no faster than the speed of a bride in a heavy dress, or as sturdy as the aftermath of a punishing gym session. In a delicious irony, scores of others may well have come up with analogies as witty as Nabeel's and Faysal's, but the very thing they want to rant about – internet speed – will be the one thing preventing them from posting it in the first place.