Cheap wings, cheaper thrills

The Macarena, Friends, and plaid flannel shirts. The year was 1995, and Victoria's Secret just had its first runway show. Cloaked in modesty by today's standards, models strolled down the runway in cardigans over their underwear. It was hardly a spectacle; let alone the cultural powerhouse the show would become. Yet, despite the quaintness, it was the seed of something that would, in the coming years, grow into a behemoth of feathers, wings, and controversy.

That quaintness? Gone. Someone somewhere decided the show needed to evolve. Suddenly, models were transformed into so-called Angels, with massive, sometimes 12 feet tall and 40 pounds heavy wings that required their own form of personal strength training just to hoist around. The runway, a platform for extravagant, often culturally inappropriate headgear, became a symbol of excess, elevating a certain standard of unattainable beauty. These "Angels" were patronisingly paraded around on the ramp in their size zero glory, with a matching pink private jet, while viewers absorbed it all with awe. The first show to ever stream online actually crashed servers.

By 2018, though, the runway was closed. Cancelled - in every sense of the word. People had started recognising the toxic body standards that were being perpetuated, and let's not forget the culture was shifting - disordered eating was no longer just a silent epidemic; women were marching in the streets for change. The age of exploiting women's bodies for entertainment was (thankfully) over. Victoria's Secret locked the Angels away, and with that, we collectively wondered, "Can you believe the stuff we used to do?" But, in 2024, they just had to bring it back.

A shadow of its former self

Now, I must admit, there was a time in my life when I would watch the show religiously. My best friend and I would come home from school, rewatching the same shows again and again on YouTube. We imagined ourselves as Halsey, Taylor Swift or Rihanna performing on that stage, strutting down the runway alongside models who seemed to embody the very essence of glamour. We wanted to own our very own set of jewel encrusted wings. That was a different era. The 2024 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show comeback was an entirely different beast.

Victoria's Secret made a big show of announcing its return after six years, boasting that they'd "read the comments" and were prepared to reflect "who they are today" when it comes to diversity. They promised the same glamour, the same wings, the same musical performances - the same iconic elements. Except, it wasn't iconic. It wasn't even memorable.

Yes, they did try to be more diverse, if they succeeded is an entirely different story. Success could be determined through their attempts at diversity by throwing a couple of plus sized models into the mix for good measure. Ashley Graham and Paloma Elsesser graced the stage, representing body types not often seen in the Victoria's Secret world. Transgender models Valentina Sampaio and Alex Consani also walked the runway, while older models like Tyra Banks and Kate Moss were called in for the sake of nostalgia. Cher performed alongside Blackpink's Lisa and rising star Tyla, marking the first all-female musical lineup. So far, so good, right?

Wrong. It was clear that Victoria's Secret was just ticking boxes, flashing these diverse faces at the audience for a moment and hoping we wouldn't notice that everything else was stuck in the past. The overwhelming majority of models were still white, impossibly thin, and the same ideal Victoria's Secret was peddling back in 2018. Yes, diversity is great, but it's supposed to feel organic, not like a checklist. It's not enough to flash a few diverse faces at us like we're a panel of judges waiting to give you your inclusion trophy.

From porcelain to plastic

Now, let's talk about the quality - or lack thereof. The show-stopping wings and the elaborate sets that made the old Victoria's Secret Fashion Show were nowhere to be seen. The budget had definitely been slashed in half, with most of it being used to hire the models. The wings looked like something you'd find in Zainab market - actually those would have been better quality than the ones we saw. One of the models got her heel stuck in the cheap stage, and the tiles ripped off. It was almost symbolic—the show itself was unraveling, quite literally.

And it wasn't just me who noticed. Netizens were quick to point out how tacky everything looked. One comment summed it up perfectly: "I love the fact that so many Angels are back, but the clothes look straight out of Shein! Did they use all the money to book the angels and forget to spend some on decent looking fabric?" Another person chimed in with, "Wow, some of these outfits were really bad. Like if someone did a knockoff VS during its prime. How do you manage to make Gigi Hadid look bad?"

If that wasn't enough, there was the glaring issue of fake crowd noise. As the show premiered on Amazon Prime, people couldn't help but notice that the cheers and applause were eerily canned, a sad reflection of the show's attempt to artificially recreate the energy it once had.

Gone were the over-the-top sets and glittering runways of yore. In their place, a bland, empty platform that looked like it had been hastily thrown together in an empty warehouse. There were no backstage shots, no playful moments of models rushing around. It was all far too serious for what it was, leaving viewers to wonder: where was the fun? The most insulting part of all was that the models gave us absolutely zero energy. Perhaps it's because they weren't being paid enough, or maybe they were just as unimpressed as we were.