Adversity: the gateway to self-growth

I bear the wounds of all the battles I avoided. — Fernando Pessoa

 

To appraise whether human beings utilise their full potential demands the quantification of human capability and capacity, and the metrics range from Intelligence Quotient (IQ) to Emotional Quotient (EQ) and then to Adversity Quotient (AQ).

It has been studied that despite being super intelligent and scoring high at IQ, people falter in reining in their galloping emotions. Even though such people reach the higher tier of officialdom, they have to eat a humble pie for spurting emotions gratuitously.

Then the experts of psychometry come up with another metric — Emotional Quotient (EQ) — which defines a man in terms of a stable mindset, a positive outlook on the world, social etiquette, empathy and ability to live harmoniously in society.

When the circumstances turn Kafkaesque — the nightmarish settings wherein characters are haunted by nonsensical and tragic circumstances — man is pitted against mercurial circumstances beyond his volition. The opening sentence of Kafka’s 1915 story The Metamorphosis — “As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect”—reflects the precariousness of human life and the incapacitation of his effort to turn up trumps.

With the advent of industrialisation and capitalism, the competitive circumstances challenge man’s psychological stability and stamina. Often, the intelligent and the emotionally composed collapses under the enormity of the adverse pressure.

Contrarily, there exist such souls who come victorious against the buffets of stormy circumstances as “man is not made for defeat”. The antimetabole “when the going gets tough, the tough get going” outlines their ethos.

The degree to which one withstands the adversity is labelled as Adversity Quotient (AQ) — the science of human resilience. AQ is not just a buzzword; it’s a mindset, a muscle that can be developed and strengthened over time. Moreover, adversities are the opportunities for attaining self-growth and toughness. It is not the success that defines us but the struggle. The adversities are the crucibles, and a crucible figuratively is a situation of severe trial whose heat if we bear, we come out refined — a new ourself.

Higher AQ is directly linked to motivation and willpower. Willpower comes into sustained action when one is strongly motivated to weather the storm of untoward circumstances to achieve one’s goal. Psychologists prescribe an easy remedy: one’s commitment to bring resilience into action at least once a day helps nurture the habit of facing adversities with equanimity and magnanimity. Bracing yourself against adversities is in demand in today’s stressful, rapidly changing world, perhaps more than ever before.

Among the delimiting factors of AQ, one is to always have an escapist plan B. Bypassing adversities doesn’t mean they are gone. They revert back stronger and mightier to confront our weaker and emaciated self. The fallout of evasion is the erosion of self-respect — a measure of one’s self-worth — which is never annealed until tested against odds. Such a person allows others to define him and is vulnerable to others’ Machiavellianism (a tendency to exploit others for one’s own gain).

Sometimes, or perhaps all the times as is proved after facing adversity, a seemingly menacing cross turns out to be an illusion as we dare confront it. Those who stick hard and long always succeed. “Unearned suffering is redemptive,” believes Martin Luther King Jr.

To experience adversity must be ingrained right in childhood. The helicopter parenting deprives children of physical and mental toughness that is needed to navigate successfully through the vicissitudes of practical life. The ardous tasks set for children bring forth their latent qualities and expand their capacities to bear pain. “There is no education like adversity,” says Benjamin Disraeli.

The rash gratification of cerebral insatiation chalks out the comfort zone for children. Life, actually, begins at the end of our comfort zone. Students don’t try other methods if the first one fails to solve their question. They don’t exert themselves, rather hanker after go-to templates and resort to their time-tested “friend” Google to rid themselves of the unrest caused by the unsolved challenging question.

Now AI-powered Chatbots will further lull our lateral thinking. The absence of resilience instils cognitive shallowness in students. Grown up, they fail in attempting questions that require a prolonged raking of brains: it tolls the bell for human spirit of inquiry needed to discover the Nature’s laws lost around man. They are accustomed to fast-food answers — a major cause of failure at competitive exams. Life is full of fight or flight moments. Those who sidestep adversities are poor shock absorbers: they relay their tensions to weak ones around them.

One strategy to learn to be resilient is to delay the quitting moment as long as possible till one’s best shot. Arnold Schwarzenegger, in his workout primer, advises that real success is how many more times one crosses one’s breaking point.

We are a nation already being spoonfed on junk-food solutions. Our input in the world creative produce will be near to nothing. Though our students score higher IQ or even EQ and lay their hand at some white collar job, yet scoring low at AQ, they shirk hard tasks and times. Slowly and steadily, they slip into adapting to the system instead of changing it for the common welfare of the people. And unsurprisingly, Pakistan has an abundance of this species.

Developed by psychologist Carol Dweck, the concept of a growth mindset is pivotal in teaching students to view challenges as opportunities for growth. Educators should encourage students to see effort as a path to mastery and to embrace mistakes as learning experiences. This can be fostered through praise that focuses on effort and improvement rather than innate ability.

A supportive and inclusive classroom environment encourages students to take risks and share their experiences without fear of judgment. Both teachers and parents should model resilient behaviour. Sharing their own experiences with overcoming adversity can provide valuable lessons for their children.

Pakistan offers us the umpteen opportunities to flex our muscles of resilience amidst adversity as Seneca says, “Sometimes, even to live is an act of courage.” So true of our land!