Sonya regrets not opening up to dad sooner

Actor discussed the dangers of suppressing vulnerability in men

Long lauded as being one of showbiz’s most down-to-earth actors, Sonya Hussaiyn proved a beacon for mental health in her most recent interview on Wasi Shah’s show, revealing how therapy helped her revive a dead relationship with her father — and the courage it took to heal the breach.

“My father wasn’t very expressive,” began the Saraab star. “There was a big communication gap between us.”

Looking back, she explained that this lack of emotion was the beginning of her go-to tactic of internalising her feelings. “I couldn’t share anything with him,” recalled Sonya. “I started to feel there was no point in opening up.”

Rather than discussing her problems, Sonya let them fester until they grew into a wound that refused to heal. It wasn’t until an ex-partner directed her towards therapy that she realised how damaged she was on the inside.

“I was with someone I thought I could have a future with,” shared the Haasil actor. “I am very soft-spoken and non-confrontational, but I would get upset over tiny things when I was with him. He made me realise I should see a therapist.”

Once Sonya sought professional help, she realised how her past had shaped her personality. “When you have a broken relationship with your father, it leaves a long-lasting impact,” she maintained. “My therapist told me that I basically had to pamper my inner child. You have to love yourself. You have to heal yourself. No one else can do it for you.”

Realising that she had the power to change things, she reached out to her father and, for the first time in her life, in a phone call one Father’s Day, told him she loved him. “There was a dead silence on the phone, and then he started sobbing,” said Sonya. “That was the first time I heard him cry.”

The actor pinpointed that moment as the turning point and lamented how the pressure of society forces men to suppress their vulnerability. “All men are soft on the inside,” she noted. “They want to cry. But it’s society’s pressure that forces them to hide it. It destroys relationships.”

Sonya’s biggest regret now is not taking that crucial first step to get closer to her father sooner. “I wasted so many years,” she rued as her eyes welled up in emotion. “No one can replace a parent — where are you going to go if you are unhappy with them? You are destroying your own personality.”