In this country, only the woman gets divorced: Kiran Ashfaque

Despite the numerous accounts making it to public channels, the often judgmental lens through which divorce is viewed continues to cast a shadow over women experiencing the end of a marriage. In a recent appearance at NonStop Podcast, Pakistani actor, model and influencer Kiran Ashfaque challenged this stigma head-on, recounting people’s reactions to her divorce and how they impacted her whole family.

“In this country, only the woman gets divorced,” Kiran declared, pointing out the gendered experience of a broken marriage. “Men don’t get divorced. No one questions the man. Even now in the comments, people ask me why did you leave [him]. Why don’t you ask the other person why they left?”

Kiran attributed her reluctance to divulge the reasons behind her divorce to the pervasive culture of shame. “I don’t like going into details because a lot of people say ‘you kept quiet for so many years, you could have left [him] earlier’,” the actor shared. “My mother would not let me, she would ask me to endure it,” Kiran revealed why her marriage didn’t end sooner.

She furthered on, “My mother had one refrain: whatever happens, just endure it, you have to sustain your marriage. You have two elder sisters, whatever you do will [affect them].” Kiran expressed her pain as to how her relationship’s end became her family’s struggle. “A divorce is not just the woman’s ordeal.”

“When I got divorced, it affected my two brothers, my two sisters, my father and my mother. When your sisters are married, their in-laws taunt them…” she added. In October 2022, Kiran and former husband, actor Imran Ashraf, parted ways. “With a heavy heart, we announce that we have mutually and respectfully decided to part ways,” their Instagram post read. “The primary concern for both of us will remain our son, Roham, for whom we will continue to be the best possible parents.”

The statement further read, “We request the fans, well-wishers and the media to support us during this difficult time and give us the privacy we need to move on. Love and respect for all, Kiran and Imran." In a later Q&A session on Instagram, Kiran also revealed details about their divorce and her life post-split. She hinted at differences between them, emphasised the importance of not tolerating disrespect, and mentioned that red flags should be a signal to run.

Ashfaque also addressed the tendency to blame women after divorce. “All that glitters is not gold,” she clarified after Imran’s fans blamed her, asserting that their divorce was not one-sided. The actor tied the knot with Hamza Ali Chaudhary earlier in December. A series of posts on her Instagram, either posted by herself or wherein she was tagged, seem to commemorate the milestone. Kiran's "bestie," Sahar Anas tagged her in a collaborator post where they were doing a reel trend, transitioning from routine wear to wedding attire. 

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