I follow my instincts: Vidya Balan opens up about body shaming, self-love and more

While many aspiring actors have journeys worth writing about, few are able to go as far as Vidya Balan, a one-of-kind star who can literally do it all. We’ve seen her as Krishna in Ishqiya and Silk Smitha in The Dirty Picture. And let’s not forget her breakout role as Lolita in the period drama Parineeta.

But as is always the case, Balan’s success didn’t come easy. In a recent interview with Times of India, the actor got candid about entering Bollywood and the struggles that she had to endure for it. “I have just scratched the surface,” she began. “Honestly, there are as many roles as there are women in the world. As of now, I have a long way to go. For me, every woman is unique. Me being the greedy actor that I am, I want every opportunity to play different, powerful women on the screen. So far, I consider myself very fortunate to have landed such fabulous opportunities to play women coming of age and breaking shackles.”

Elaborating on the characters she’s done in the past, Balan said, “With each of them, I identified and merged myself into the role. Almost to the point where there is a little bit of ‘Vidya Balan’ in every character you see on screens. We are not unidimensional people, parts of us remain dormant forever.”

Living the dream

Asked if acting was her dream, the Tumhari Sulu star, “I was eight-and-a-half when I fell in love with Madhuri Dixit’s Ek Do Teen. Back then, half of the country wanted to be Madhuri Dixit. But I think my parents soon realised that it was not a passing fancy; it was an obsession, some sort of commitment. I hope it’s a lifelong one. This is the only thing that I ever wanted to do.

”But acting wasn’t the only thing Balan pursued. “While I was in school, I attended classical music concerts that brought me to a point that I wanted to be a tanpura player. My mother still laughs about it but other than that, I always dreamt of becoming an actor.”

Support and family

“I have always been supported by my family; it never got to the point of them passing a judgment,” recalled Balan when asked about it. “When they came to the screening of The Dirty Picture, I was concerned, more-so worried, about their reactions. But my father said, ‘I didn’t see my daughter anywhere in the film’ while my mother cried at the end.”

The image of a ‘perfect’ body

In an industry that purports the idea of a slim silhouette, Balan broke many stereotypes by being plus-sized leading lady. In the interview, the actor also recalled the body-shaming she underwent as an actor. “I think it was important for me to go through what I did. Someone who doesn’t come from a film background, it was public at the time. There was no one to tell me that my weight would one day become a national issue.”

She continued, “I have always had hormonal issues my entire life and for the longest time, I hated my body. Mind you, hate is a strong word. I thought my body had betrayed me. There were days when I would feel pressured to look perfect and immediately I would bloat up.”

Knowing your own worth

“Over time, I accepted that my body is the only thing that is keeping me alive because the day it stops functioning, I am not going to be around. I have a lot of gratitude for my body. With each day, I have begun to love and accept myself more, but it’s not been easy. You have to fake it till you make it. I have realised, it is not people judging you but rather how you judge yourself. We all need to be cautious when we are bringing up children...the colour of the skin, weight, especially with girls.”

The 42-year-old concluded by confessing Bollywood has taught her how to be a woman, stand up for herself and use her own voice. She also mentioned how grateful she is that this platform allows her to celebrate uniqueness and her own individuality.