A civil society?

In 2005, the unelected president of the country told American journalists that women in Pakistan get raped to improve their chances of Canadian visas. He was referring to Mukhtaran Mai. After an outcry from those who care, he clumsily tried to paddle back, only to be proven with audio tapes that he indeed had said the vile words. The same gentleman, last week, had the gall to argue that the country was better off with dictators!

One would have hoped that the status of discourse on women would have improved in the last decade, and those in power or vying to be in power, would have the maturity, sensitivity and dignity to deal with such an important matter. However, the events of the past week show that sadly not much has changed. If anything, politics of harassment is in full swing, like never before. Beyond the politicians, we have shown that the diseased mindset is fairly universal, and not just the pathological condition of the dictator.

The discourse by both the leadership of various political parties and by the general public show that we still live in a world where any discussion of harassment, whether it is in parliament or by our leaders, remains unacceptable. We lack the decency and maturity to address issues that are widespread and affect millions in the country. From college campuses to workplace, the verbal abuse, physical intimidation, unwanted advances and violence faced by women is real and present. Yet for many, harassment is viewed by an exclusively political lens, and discussed through a mechanism of convenience, not through the understanding, empathy and seriousness it deserves.

Any woman who brings up the issue of harassment, violence or unwanted advances, is viewed with a deep suspicion. Immediately after her statements, threats of violence, ranging from acid attacks to death, are considered fair game. Public defamation and a barrage of insults against family members are commonplace. The behaviour is shared universally, and no one party has a monopoly on this. Those who demonstrate their disgusting misogyny in parliament are rewarded with the foreign ministry and become the face of the government and the nation to the world. Equally sad is the response to harassment allegations against the near infallible leadership of the main opposition. Somehow political point scoring trumps decency, dignity and respect. If there was any doubt on why so many talented women do not enter politics, despite having outstanding leadership abilities, great ideas and the vision to change, this past week we provided ample examples to clear any such doubt.

The discussion in many supposedly expert circles, including in the all-male panels on TV, also shows a disturbingly naïve understanding of the problem and a complete lack of empathy. The arguments, from a complete denial of existence of the problem, to questioning the morality of the accuser, show a shallow and often patronising attitude. Lost in the discussion are scars of the abuse and traumas faced by them. The argument often presented by many is about the timing. The fact is that sometimes it does take a long time for people to get the courage to come forward, and share their painful story. The child sex abuse scandal in the Catholic Church shows it took decades for the victims to come forward, and many more probably never did. But we don’t care much about facts or respect, especially when it comes to women.

From this cesspool the only way forward is for men to recognise that they are the cause and the drivers of the problem, and that it is both their action and their inaction, that creates a vulgar, hostile and unacceptable environment for women. Harassment on the floor of the assembly, in talk shows, and through Blackberry messages is real and unacceptable in all forms. These issues need to be dealt with fairness, decency and sensitivity.

The 70^th birthday next week has to be more than about new songs and cultural dances. We have to ask tough questions of why harassment is so common, and why any discussion of it so difficult. The future must be inclusive, fair and respectful.

Published in The Express Tribune, August 8^th, 2017.

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