Pakistan is not a Barbie Land – can someone please mute Khalilur Rehman Qamar

Another disappointing statement from Khalilur Rehman Qamar as he dismissed the viewpoint of Miss Pakistan about gender inequality. I'm not surprised; this time, I am actually irritated.

Opinion makers like Andrew Tate and Qamar sell the idea that women have it easy and life is actually harder for men, not women. I do believe that men face numerous challenges, but it's crucial to acknowledge the added difficulties that women often face simply because of their gender.

On one side, it's Tate who thinks that a man has to work incredibly hard to own a yacht, while women simply have to wear make-up to get on that yacht. Then we have Qamar, who thinks women rarely achieve anything on merit and men are marginalised as a result. This is not the first time he said something bizarre.

He is infamous for remarks like this. Whether it is about pitying men because they have to earn or justifying infidelity by blaming it on wives themselves; whether it is about bizarre comments on bridal make-up or suggesting feminists commit rape for equality; he doesn't hold back his opinions.

Tate lived in the US. The challenges women face in advanced countries are often related to finances and market competition, much like those faced by men. In Pakistan, women are yet to be at such a stage where competing in a saturated market will be their problem. They often don't even get the chance to compete. Those who get to are the ones allowed by their men.

Western women enjoy certain privileges that women in South Asia and the Middle East can only dream of. They are not killed if they like someone. They are free to marry by their choice. If they are adults, they cannot be controlled. They have legal protections, and their basic rights are upheld. So I can understand Tate's perspective and where it is coming from, as he doesn't know how women suffer outside advanced countries.

My problem lies with Qamar. He lives here in Pakistan. He has seen first-hand how women are marginalised. He is well aware that in many impoverished families, girls are denied access to education so that their male siblings can attend school. He knows that it is tragically common for a ninth-grade girl to be married off to a 37-year-old man and conceive a child before she even turns 16.

He is aware that women can face dire consequences, including violence, at the hands of their guardians if they dare to pursue a man. And those charged with honour killing might not get convicted in this country. He understands that the majority of women in this country (in fact, throughout the Middle East and South Asia) have little to no say in their marriages. Like marriage, they are forced into parenthood too.

If they file for a divorce, they are demonised and damned regardless of who was responsible for the separation. The laws are not in their favour as well. If a woman initiates a divorce, she might have to return the property given to her as financial security.

Most women in our country do not have the freedom to move about as they please, which means they cannot leave their homes without male accompaniment, leaving them at the mercy of men. If they have a supportive male figure, they might be able to work and travel; otherwise they are confined to their homes.

When men earn, they work in a very toxic competitive environment, but little do they know what women go through at home. If you think your office is toxic, try living as a girl among her in-laws – it's a different kind of hell.

When men earn, their responsibilities usually end there. They get back home, and they do not even have to drink a glass of water by themselves. A woman cannot expect that protocol as she is expected to balance her job with housework and taking care of their children.

Women rarely get second chances, while men have a world of chances. For girls, there's no room for making mistakes, but for boys, even their gravest errors can be seen as learning experiences.

A man who was convicted of rape will find a spouse and settle in life, but a woman who got assaulted is not likely to find a spouse. Anyone who does marry a rape survivor will be shamed and reminded that he is married to a violated creature.

These are just a few examples of how vastly different life is for men and women. However, as far as I know, Qamar will dismiss all of my arguments as nonsense. He has a generalised view of men and women and is detached from reality. What truly worries me is the number of people who agree with him. He has successfully brainwashed many men into believing they are the only ones facing challenges in this country, disregarding the daily battles women fight.

In Qamar's bubble, Pakistan is a Barbie Land, where Kens are supposedly marginalised by Barbies. Nope! We do not live in such a universe. Nor do I advocate for a matriarchy either, as it's not as pleasant as Greta portrayed it to be. (I've lived and worked alongside women, and I must say they, too, failed to protect our interests).

What I truly desire is a world where both men and women are held accountable for their mistakes and face consequences for their actions, regardless of their gender, a system that safeguards both of us and ensures our interests are protected, regardless of whether the person in power is male or female. In short, I want an environment where I can enjoy all the liberties, including education and career, that my religion gave me 1400 years ago (but society took back).

Till we work on it, someone please put Qamar on mute...