Hadsa: Shame and consent in the “Land of the Pure”

We would rather have a rape survivor shame herself to death than rise courageous and strong for what she survived.

About a month ago, a serial called 'Hadsa' aired on our screens, and while the drama took off to a good start, soon people began raising questions about the plot’s similarity to the heinous gang rape incident on the Lahore motorway in 2020.

Many took to social media to raise their concern about the survivor and whether she was doing okay after the drama went on air, and soon after, journalist Fereeha Idrees posted on social media about a call she received from the survivor, wherein the latter was hyperventilating and in tears. According to Idrees’ post, the survivor came across the drama and was shocked to see how closely the details reflected her incident. She broke down on the phone call, asking questions like,

“Why would they do this to me and my family? Why would they want me to re-live the trauma that my family and I went through? How could they make such a series without gaining any sort of consent? How am I supposed to keep my identity and dignity intact after such shameful and gruesome details are splattered all over the screen for anyone and everyone to see?”

Many came out on social media in her support, claiming that consent should have been obtained before creating, much less airing, such traumatising content. Some opined that it is important to create such content to raise awareness and arm anyone in such a situation with essential information about justice and legalities. Hadiqa Kiani, who played the role of the survivor, stated on social media that the drama was not based on the actual incident but was a production created to raise awareness about such inhumane, but unfortunately not uncommon, crimes. Nevertheless, pressure built against the drama and its creators, until the Pakistan Electronic Media Regulatory Authority (PEMRA) intervened and banned the drama from being aired.

Now, about a month after the ban, PEMRA has lifted the ban on the condition that the rape scene in the fifth episode should not be re-broadcast and no other scenes should explicitly depict sensitive or triggering content. Although I have yet to see even one episode, the removal of the ban has once again spurred my initial thoughts about the drama, the survivor’s anguish and people’s reactions.

When I read the journalist’s post about the survivor’s distressed phone call, I was in tears for this poor woman. No one should have to go through what she went through. Rape is a revolting crime, and to have been gang-raped in Pakistan — the “Land of the Pure" — in front of your children is unimaginably traumatic. What this woman and her family have been through in the last three years is something none of us would wish for, even on our own worst enemies. I know many will argue with what I am about to say and will deem me callous and naive, but I honestly believe it needs to be said because we need to change the way we look at women, crimes against women, family honour, consent and shame.

According to Idrees’ post, the survivor questioned how such content could be created without her consent, and why they would want her to re-live something beyond painful. She said she felt like dying again as she watched an episode. One can only sympathise with her distress. However, where she raised concerns about the possibility of her identity being disclosed; of people knowing that it was her in real life who went through this traumatic incident; how her husband, children and other family members would react to this reminder of the worst moments of their lives — is where I have some contention.

Yes, this serial should NOT have been created without her consent, much less airing it. However, her questions about identity and family honour seem to stem more from feelings of shame than consent and legalities; shame not only because of what happened to her, but because of our very unjust and feeble social constructs. This brave lady seems to speak like a victim, and it seems obvious that while she may have undergone treatment and counselling, she has not received adequate support from her loved ones, and in no way am I blaming them. After all, if you live in a society where the honour of a man and a family is tied to a woman, even the best of us succumb to these rickety social constructs. Perhaps she feels violated once again because what happened to her back in 2020 was an utter lack of consent, and now, 'Hadsa' allegedly depicting the incident without her permission evokes the same feelings of helplessness and transgression.

Unfortunately, this poor lady seems to be carrying more weight than that of being a rape survivor. She is carrying the weight of her husband and family’s standing in society. In her conversation with Idrees, she voiced her concern about how her mother, children, husband and in-laws would feel if they watched the serial. She spoke of how she’s made to feel bad if she dresses up or seems happy since the incident happened. But the fact is that she was raped and she survived it. With unconditional love and support from her loved ones, she would feel the pain, yes, but she would not feel the shame because it is NOT hers to feel. She was the target of a heinous crime, a crime the perpetrators should be ashamed of — NOT her and her family.

This brings me to the point of this post: we live in a disgusting, inhuman, partial, pretentious and patriarchal society. We live to be seen in a certain way. We judge and criticise the sins of others as if we have none of our own. We hold our women as our honour in public and unleash all our shame on them privately.

We would rather have a rape survivor shame herself to death than rise tall and strong for what she survived.

I repeat, this brave lady was the target of a heinous crime, a crime the perpetrators should be ashamed of — NOT her and her family. Yes, the network and producers needs her consent before airing 'Hadsa', and we need to keep putting pressure on PEMRA to keep the drama off air until and unless that happens. But as for the survivor herself, I hope she knows there are people who hail her for her courage, who pray for her and her family’s strength, and who hope she can look beyond what happened to her one day and become the loudest voice when it comes to justice for rape survivors and crimes against women.

In the meantime, the rest of us need to look long and hard at our own values and behaviour regarding women. We need to step up and demand a change. We need to be the change.

I, for one, hope that if 'Hadsa' continues to be aired (with the survivor’s consent of course), the writers and directors are able to dismantle the narrative of shame and disgrace that rape survivors are subject to. This is the least they can do in return for airing something so private, so sensitive and so traumatic..