10 things I hate about skinny people

Clothes can be loose on them, but never tight. They can wear anything, get away with it as they never look obscene.

1.         They never gain weight. No matter how much they stuff their faces with food, they will always be stick thin.

2.          Clothes can be loose on them, but never tight. They can wear anything and get away with it because they never look obscene.

3.          Their ability to snack endlessly. They can snack anytime of the day or night without being catapulted into a guilt trip. Emotional eating? They’ve never heard of it.

4.           Their euphemism-free social interactions. They will never have to hear seemingly well-meaning aunties call them “healthy” or “full.”

5.           The whining. Skinny people insist they have hard lives too. Either they argue endlessly about gaining weight when they actually haven’t, or they moan about being too skinny to fill out their clothes properly. You’re thin. Get over it.

6.           They don’t feel compelled to finish all the food on their plate. When they’re full, they’re full. They don’t eat a single bite after they make this announcement. In return, we end up eating their leftovers.

7.          The dedication. They exercise as though they need to shed 100lbs, and they go on a diet if they gain 2lbs. Keep in mind, these people could gain 25 lbs and still wouldn’t be considered fat.

8.           If you’re travelling by car with a lot of people, skinny people are never left behind because they can fit in absolutely anywhere! Space is never an issue with them.

9.           They are never blamed or teased if the boat tilts to a certain side (literally).

10.        The pity. People feel sorry for them even though they shouldn’t- they call them kamzor and force-feed them all the yummy treats fat people have been studiously avoiding for decades.

Published in The Express Tribune, December 12^th, 2010.

Update: December 27, 2010

The editors recognise that '10 things I hate about skinny people' may have caused offence and would like to apologise to all those whose feelings have been hurt. The 'I hate' lists are politically incorrect by their very nature, but are meant as humorous pieces and are not intended to single out or stigmatise any segment of society.

Readers are welcome to send us their own '10 things I hate about I hate lists' to [e-mail] and we promise we'll publish the best one.