20 things desi brides do and what they really mean

It's shaadi season and dulhans are gearing up to book appointments for their much-awaited wedding. From clothes to mehndi dances to the dos and the don'ts, each bride wants her wedding to be picture perfect.

But have you ever wondered what is behind those sugary smiles and customary thank yous? A plastered smile while sitting on stage, the heavily embellished clothes and jewellery and not to forget the dolled-up face, it’s a tough job to be a bride and all they want is for their wedding day to look like a fairy tale.



PHOTO: AINABRIDAL

We go pardey kay peechay and here's what we believe dulhans are mostly thinking behind those not-so-real expressions, on their wedding day.

1. When they say, "Aap ke aane ka shukriya"

Meeting a million people at your wedding with a big smile while draped in layers of clothing and jewellery can be challenging. Under such circumstances how does one expect the dulhan to remember abba ki dost ki tayi ki behn? So when the bride says, “Aap ke aane ka shukriya”, she honestly couldn't care less.



2. When they say, "Oh wow, a blender for my wedding gift! Thank you!"

If she could, she would definitely react like this. You could easily end up in that very blender you gave her. Try being a little more considerate when buying a gift for the bride.

Seriously? A blender. Really?



3. When the dulhan's siblings demand new shoes, clothes and all kinds of accessories 

The bride obviously can't say much because they are her siblings and it is a happy occasion, after all. Woohoo (sarcasm at its best).

You will get your turn bhai and chhoti, hold your horses.



4. Claiming "Oh no aunty I'm not hungry right now" when food is served at the (read: their) wedding

Obviously they don't want to ruin their make up by munching away on stage while everyone stares. Not to mention the unforgiving videographer sneakily making footage of her trying to eat with utmost grace. However, the fact remains that brides go through a long and tough day. Sitting with a huge smile on one's face and that too on an empty stomach is just not on. But honestly this is how they really feel when the food is served.



5. When the friend dresses like it's her wedding

This is what the bride wants to do with you, 'friend': tear off your clothes and un-invite you from all her future events. You can't exactly blame that friend either. She needs to look her best so she can be next. Mind you, desi shaadis are the real thing, the original 'offline' shaadi.com, where daughters are showcased in their best attire and rishtas are finalised. Keep going rishta aunties!



6. When they compliment the in-laws' kids: "Oh, how cute"

Those little creatures sent from hell can be found hogging the stage or worse, sitting in the middle of the sofa between you and your loved one. Way to go! Now it looks like they have an illegitimate child. For all aunties who push their kids in the middle of the couple, STOP! The bride doesn't like you at all. At all! This what the brides really want to do with them. Only if you weren't the groom's nephew that is.



7. Post-rukhsati drama

For some odd reason, only during the time of rukhsati does it hit the dulhan's side that their daughter/sister/granddaughter is leaving their house. The rest of the year while they were busy planning it all, obviously there was no time to be sad. The pain of trying to cry without ruining the make-up is like trying to cup water from an open tap in your hands.



8. When the best friends decide to do a performance for the bride

Sure she loves the gesture, but she will never forgive them for the drama she had to deal with. Fixing fights between them and trying to patch relations is not an ideal pre-wedding drama any bride looks forward to. Damn right they'll have some listening to do once the wedding is over!

9. When phupo's neighbour's khala, who wanted you for her son, shows up to the wedding

Best be prepared for dagger-looks and hate from those eyes, but since they can't show much, the bride can get away by hiding behind her dupatta or a big smile.



10. When they are forced to praise the wedding ring and say "What a pretty ring aunty jee"

Wedding rings play a lot of significance in the bride's life, but they don't really have any say in it. Even if the diamond is only visible through a magnifying glass, the bride cannot afford to make the mother-in-law mad, at least not the day of the wedding.



11. This is how they really feel by the end of the event, but still manage to smile and stay up all night with the in-laws

Customary bonding with the in-laws only adds to the bride's exhaustion. Kids, please let the bride rest, there's no need to play antakshari on that very night. There's always tomorrow, she's yours now, cut her some slack.



12. When everyone is complimenting her looks and dress, her main concern is really something else

While brides look regal and elegant on their wedding day, their main concern is how to walk in the heavy gharara. The only thing running through their heads is how to kick it gracefully without looking like they're playing football with their dress.



13. Once the event is over, all the bride really wants to do is yank off all that jewellery and toss away the heavy jora

Those long braids, earrings and maatha paatis need to come off, ASAP. Brides just want to throw all that far away.



14. After they get a long lecture from their parents when panicking before the wedding

Sleepless nights, not eating enough, acne are all makings of a bridezilla. It's natural. But parents usually don't understand that (the irony!) and not every bride is successful in explaining the stress. How does one explain to them, "No, my lovely parents, nothing is fine. I'm getting married, let me be panicked."



15. While taking family photos, the annoying khaala of the groom steps on her clothes

The dulhan might smile or choose to ignore it, but get ready to be the subject of discussion at every occasion in the future. The bride's going to take all her anger out by hating you, forever.



 

16. When she says, "Of course honey, the sherwaani looks great!"

She can't lie to you on your wedding day, period. Even though she knows it's all about her, not the groom. But isn't that a known thing?



17. When they see the family members arguing but can't wipe that smile off their face (the annoying cameraman problem)

Not today guys, spare one day. Do today's quota tomorrow, is what she's really thinking.



18. When the groom breaks all hopes of the larki wallay and gives Rs. 5000 for the joota chhupayi

The bride might help the groom by taking his side when this tradition kick starts, but that's just because the larkay wallay are also there. Obviously she wants her younger siblings and cousins and friends to get something big.



19. When they have the awkward moment with the sister-in-law

These moments of stares are very common at a wedding. The bride usually just smiles away but this is what how she really wants that moment to be.



20. After the longest day of her life, everyone still wants more

The never-ending daawats, dinners and every possible occasion to stuff the new bride and groom's face with food. As if the wedding itself wasn't hectic enough, the bride will be forced to agree to all the plans the in-laws and family members have made on her behalf.

But let's cut these poor souls some slack, brides go through a lot and they can't really express it. Hence, there is always something going in their heads. The term BrideZilla may be commonly used to describe them, but you cant blame the brides for their breakdowns and tantrums.

The article was originally published by STORYPICK


Disclaimer: The Express Tribune does not take credit for any of the pictures above