Time is all you have
Put away your gadgets and communicate with the people you are slogging away at work for
The writer is an actor, an anchor and a model. She is currently the host of ‘Morning with Juggun’ on PTV Home and can be reached via Twitter @JuggunKazim
There are days we wake up absolutely done with life and all that comes with it; bills, work and home stresses, the nut-job relative who keeps interfering with everything, and so on. Then you look over at your sleeping spouse or kid and suddenly everything seems okay. Life has meaning again.
Now here’s the question we all avoid: how much time do you spend with your spouse or child who bring a smile to your face in the darkest of times? Or are you so wrapped up in the rat race we call life that you never have time?
I know everyone says it is not the amount of time that you spend with someone that counts but the quality of it. Agreed. But making more time is important. Most working parents leave for work when their kids leave for school and come home around their kids’ bedtime. They don’t get time to spent with their families.
The world has become extremely competitive and the stress of making ends meet is enough to drive anybody mad. These stresses drive us to work more, sleep less, and ignore our health and families.
A dear friend of mine got divorced recently and when I went over to condole with her (and then separately with her ex-husband) I was shocked to hear their reasons for ending a 10-year marriage. This is what actually led to my writing this article.
She was sick and tired of waiting for him to return from his ‘business trips’. He was always travelling while she raised their two kids alone. She decided to move into her kids’ room because of his erratic timings.
Her ex-husband told me that she was always in a foul mood. She wanted a certain ‘lifestyle’ but also wanted him home all the time. How was he to manage both? Eventually, they both lost interest in each other.
Let’s say, you decide to spend more time at home. The next question is: the time that you are at home, do you spend it on your cell phone, tablet or laptop?
Many people spend a fair portion of their ‘quality time’ with their smartphone or gadgets. This is different from how I grew up. When I was a child, meal times used to be spent chatting and catching up on everyone’s day. Now, even if you get people together, everyone seems to rush through dinner to get to back to their individual toys or rooms.
I will never forget what my cousin said to her father when he tried to lecture her about the importance of communicating with her parents. She, all of 13 years of age, said, “I can communicate with someone who is actually there, not with the idea of someone who is my parent just because he produced me. You keep saying you do all this for me. Well I need your time. Not the stupid cars in the porch and this stupid house where I am alone most of the time.”
If you feel guilty about not spending enough time at home, then spend time at home. Put away your gadgets and communicate with the people you are slogging away at work for. Read together, go outside and play cricket, or even hold each other while you lie in silence if there isn’t anything to say. Communication isn’t always verbal. Don’t let the best years of your life pass you by.
Published in The Express Tribune, March 2nd, 2015.
Now here’s the question we all avoid: how much time do you spend with your spouse or child who bring a smile to your face in the darkest of times? Or are you so wrapped up in the rat race we call life that you never have time?
I know everyone says it is not the amount of time that you spend with someone that counts but the quality of it. Agreed. But making more time is important. Most working parents leave for work when their kids leave for school and come home around their kids’ bedtime. They don’t get time to spent with their families.
The world has become extremely competitive and the stress of making ends meet is enough to drive anybody mad. These stresses drive us to work more, sleep less, and ignore our health and families.
A dear friend of mine got divorced recently and when I went over to condole with her (and then separately with her ex-husband) I was shocked to hear their reasons for ending a 10-year marriage. This is what actually led to my writing this article.
She was sick and tired of waiting for him to return from his ‘business trips’. He was always travelling while she raised their two kids alone. She decided to move into her kids’ room because of his erratic timings.
Her ex-husband told me that she was always in a foul mood. She wanted a certain ‘lifestyle’ but also wanted him home all the time. How was he to manage both? Eventually, they both lost interest in each other.
Let’s say, you decide to spend more time at home. The next question is: the time that you are at home, do you spend it on your cell phone, tablet or laptop?
Many people spend a fair portion of their ‘quality time’ with their smartphone or gadgets. This is different from how I grew up. When I was a child, meal times used to be spent chatting and catching up on everyone’s day. Now, even if you get people together, everyone seems to rush through dinner to get to back to their individual toys or rooms.
I will never forget what my cousin said to her father when he tried to lecture her about the importance of communicating with her parents. She, all of 13 years of age, said, “I can communicate with someone who is actually there, not with the idea of someone who is my parent just because he produced me. You keep saying you do all this for me. Well I need your time. Not the stupid cars in the porch and this stupid house where I am alone most of the time.”
If you feel guilty about not spending enough time at home, then spend time at home. Put away your gadgets and communicate with the people you are slogging away at work for. Read together, go outside and play cricket, or even hold each other while you lie in silence if there isn’t anything to say. Communication isn’t always verbal. Don’t let the best years of your life pass you by.
Published in The Express Tribune, March 2nd, 2015.