It’s time to talk openly

It’s time to have a talk. The talk. This is calling out all the parents, all the siblings who have younger ones around them. Living in Canada made me realise a few things: one being the importance of communicating with your children and those younger than you, whether they be your siblings, your cousins, your own child. Parents in the West seem to be more approachable; maybe because that’s how society is there. Here, it seems that elders brush away topics they are not comfortable talking about. If you don’t build a bridge of communication with the younger generation, how can you expect them to come to you when they need help? When they are in trouble? When someone makes them feel uncomfortable? Talk. Talk about the dark side of the world we live in.

It has been statistically proven that most of the time, it’s usually those closest to the family who tend to take advantage of children — mamus, chachas, cousins. And let’s not forget the babysitters/domestic help on whom our society so deeply depends. Although the emphasis here is on males, but females, too, can be predators. It has been recorded that over 90 per cent of sexual offenders are someone the child knows and trusts — a relative, teacher, babysitter, or family friend. Remember the video of a female nanny throwing a child around that went viral on social media a while ago? Yup. That happens.

Parents need to be pushed to have the talk with their kids — the earlier, the better. By the talk, I mean tell them what is right and what is not. What parts of the body cannot be touched by anyone except their own mother or themselves. Make your children comfortable enough to be able to approach you and talk to you about what they need to.

When a child goes through abuse, he/she is worried and is confused. Some of those who have been through it claim that they were too scared to tell their parents; the others say that they tried explaining what they were going through to their folks but were shunned. I guess that’s how our society is. We tend to turn a blind eye towards things that matter or things that we, ourselves, are too scared to face. No matter how dear the other person is to you, he/she can be taking advantage of your child’s innocence. It can be someone as dear and close as your brother; yes, it’s hard to believe something like this and hard to come to terms with, but this happens. You need to know your child will not lie to you about abuse. Don’t discourage them. Hear them out. Don’t let your fears take a toll on the younger generation.

Published in The Express Tribune, February 17^th, 2015.