London Eye: Englishmen, Pakistanis aren’t so dissimilar
Both prone to make a lot of fuss about nepotism, jihadis and clerical pronouncements.
Last week a number of events confirmed my suspicions that the goras aren't as different from us as we, and certainly they, might think.
Take, for example, nepotism, and that too in the police. Last week, the police chief constable of North Yorkshire (in seniority terms the equivalent of an IG) and his deputy were charged with gross misconduct for allegedly favouring their friends and family in selection for jobs on the force. Two other members of the force have already been dismissed for nepotism. It seems that over 300,000 people had applied for a mere 60 advertised jobs and the computer kept crashing as applications came in. Undeniably, it is simpler to call your wife's second cousin in for an interview than wade through that kind of paperwork.
Then there are the jihadis who use our soil as a base for going in and out of Afghanistan to fight against Nato forces. Who needs tribal areas when you can live in London and fly into Kabul from Heathrow Airport?
A Guardian exclusive revealed that Afghans living and working in Britain were going over to Afghanistan for months at a time for some part-time jihad. “There are many people like me in London” one East London taxi driver turned jihadi is quoted as saying to the Guardian correspondent. “We collect money for the jihad all year and then come and fight if we can.”
Like us, the British also get worked up over pronouncements made by the clergy and their proper interpretation. There was a flurry of excitement early last week when certain passages were leaked from a forthcoming book containing interviews with Pope Benedict XVI. Apparently the Pope had remarked that it may, under certain circumstances, be permissible to wear condoms to prevent Aids. The Catholic Church, the media and commentators were all in a flutter. Could there have been a mistake in the translation of the passage from German to English? Clarifications were issued from the Vatican and it appears that this indeed is the gist of what was said. Catholic priests the world over are now giving varying interpretations to the pontiff's words depending on their preferred stance on the use of contraceptive devices to save lives.
Here the similarities end at least until we find out how the English cricket team fares in the Ashes series being played in Australia. When it comes to sports, both Pakistanis and the English know a thing or two about disappointment.
Bank bail-outs were once more in the news as Ireland's financial system teetered on the verge of collapse. The Irish government remained in a state of denial for a week and then finally accepted that it would need the staggering sum of £77 billion to prop up its banking system. The Irish were furious and those who are not emigrating began protesting in the streets. The British public was confused to hear that because the Irish banks owed British banks lots of money (some £150 billion) the taxpayers would have to find another £7 billion to lend them.
There were plenty of demonstrations all across England, as students, including schoolchildren came out in their thousands to protest against the proposed doubling and possible tripling of university tuition fees. Two weeks earlier demonstrators in London had vented their anger at Tory headquarters and this time were targeting Downing Street and the offices of coalition partners, the Liberal Democrats.
Students are particularly angry at Nick Clegg, deputy PM and leader of the Lib-Dems who had campaigned on a platform of no increase to tuition fees and has done a swift about-turn after joining the government.
The police were criticised last time for underestimating the protest and not turning out in sufficient numbers. This time they went for overkill and surrounded the students, trapping many of them for hours in freezing cold. Needless to say they were criticised again.
I must end with the hilarious story of the bishop of Willesden who, apparently not thrilled by the upcoming royal wedding described the royal family on his Facebook page as 'philanderers' with a record of marriage break-ups who 'cost an arm and a leg'. He likened the royal couple to 'shallow celebrities' and predicted that their marriage would last no more than seven years. After the story broke in the papers the bishop was immediately contrite and wished Prince William and Kate Middleton “a happy and lifelong marriage”.
Published in The Express Tribune, November 29th, 2010.
Take, for example, nepotism, and that too in the police. Last week, the police chief constable of North Yorkshire (in seniority terms the equivalent of an IG) and his deputy were charged with gross misconduct for allegedly favouring their friends and family in selection for jobs on the force. Two other members of the force have already been dismissed for nepotism. It seems that over 300,000 people had applied for a mere 60 advertised jobs and the computer kept crashing as applications came in. Undeniably, it is simpler to call your wife's second cousin in for an interview than wade through that kind of paperwork.
Then there are the jihadis who use our soil as a base for going in and out of Afghanistan to fight against Nato forces. Who needs tribal areas when you can live in London and fly into Kabul from Heathrow Airport?
A Guardian exclusive revealed that Afghans living and working in Britain were going over to Afghanistan for months at a time for some part-time jihad. “There are many people like me in London” one East London taxi driver turned jihadi is quoted as saying to the Guardian correspondent. “We collect money for the jihad all year and then come and fight if we can.”
Like us, the British also get worked up over pronouncements made by the clergy and their proper interpretation. There was a flurry of excitement early last week when certain passages were leaked from a forthcoming book containing interviews with Pope Benedict XVI. Apparently the Pope had remarked that it may, under certain circumstances, be permissible to wear condoms to prevent Aids. The Catholic Church, the media and commentators were all in a flutter. Could there have been a mistake in the translation of the passage from German to English? Clarifications were issued from the Vatican and it appears that this indeed is the gist of what was said. Catholic priests the world over are now giving varying interpretations to the pontiff's words depending on their preferred stance on the use of contraceptive devices to save lives.
Here the similarities end at least until we find out how the English cricket team fares in the Ashes series being played in Australia. When it comes to sports, both Pakistanis and the English know a thing or two about disappointment.
Bank bail-outs were once more in the news as Ireland's financial system teetered on the verge of collapse. The Irish government remained in a state of denial for a week and then finally accepted that it would need the staggering sum of £77 billion to prop up its banking system. The Irish were furious and those who are not emigrating began protesting in the streets. The British public was confused to hear that because the Irish banks owed British banks lots of money (some £150 billion) the taxpayers would have to find another £7 billion to lend them.
There were plenty of demonstrations all across England, as students, including schoolchildren came out in their thousands to protest against the proposed doubling and possible tripling of university tuition fees. Two weeks earlier demonstrators in London had vented their anger at Tory headquarters and this time were targeting Downing Street and the offices of coalition partners, the Liberal Democrats.
Students are particularly angry at Nick Clegg, deputy PM and leader of the Lib-Dems who had campaigned on a platform of no increase to tuition fees and has done a swift about-turn after joining the government.
The police were criticised last time for underestimating the protest and not turning out in sufficient numbers. This time they went for overkill and surrounded the students, trapping many of them for hours in freezing cold. Needless to say they were criticised again.
I must end with the hilarious story of the bishop of Willesden who, apparently not thrilled by the upcoming royal wedding described the royal family on his Facebook page as 'philanderers' with a record of marriage break-ups who 'cost an arm and a leg'. He likened the royal couple to 'shallow celebrities' and predicted that their marriage would last no more than seven years. After the story broke in the papers the bishop was immediately contrite and wished Prince William and Kate Middleton “a happy and lifelong marriage”.
Published in The Express Tribune, November 29th, 2010.