He will change… right?
A few things women of our society believe in
He will get better once we have a baby… He just needs time to figure things out … He will soon become more responsible… Maybe another child will make things better between the two of us. He will realise he needs to value me — the mother of his children — he won’t possibly continue beating me up in front of our kids.
These are a few things women of our society believe in, or rather force themselves to believe in, when in reality they are too scared to face the truth. The truth behind their relationships with their husbands. The truth is, if he’s raised his hand on you once, he really will not change. Having a child, or even having two, will not change anything.
Bringing a child into this world is a big decision, a very big responsibility. It shouldn’t be a decision made in haste, it shouldn’t be considered a ‘way out of the problem’. If things aren’t working out between you and your spouse, do not push a new life into your stormy relationship, in hope of things getting better.
Abusive relationships are not only common now, but they always have been. There are those in our society who feel superior by making the women feel inferior; by raising their hands on them. I’ve met numerous couples, and I’ve witnessed tonnes of relationships where the women are too scared to walk out of the marriage because they feel society will not understand. That they will be considered outcasts. With that fear deeply instilled in them, they continue to make their lives miserable by living in relationships that only make them unhappy. They think that by having children, by having a family, they might be able to reform their spouses. Sadly, nothing changes. I’ve only seen things get worse.
Although times have changed a little. We encourage women to work and to be financially independent but that still doesn’t seem to help. If a woman decides to divorce her husband, more often it’s family and close friends who tell her to rethink her decision. To maybe try and work things out for the sake of avoiding public embarrassment. If he beats her, if he misbehaves with her, is that not a solid reason for her to walk away and secure her pride?
Published in The Express Tribune, January 20th, 2015.
These are a few things women of our society believe in, or rather force themselves to believe in, when in reality they are too scared to face the truth. The truth behind their relationships with their husbands. The truth is, if he’s raised his hand on you once, he really will not change. Having a child, or even having two, will not change anything.
Bringing a child into this world is a big decision, a very big responsibility. It shouldn’t be a decision made in haste, it shouldn’t be considered a ‘way out of the problem’. If things aren’t working out between you and your spouse, do not push a new life into your stormy relationship, in hope of things getting better.
Abusive relationships are not only common now, but they always have been. There are those in our society who feel superior by making the women feel inferior; by raising their hands on them. I’ve met numerous couples, and I’ve witnessed tonnes of relationships where the women are too scared to walk out of the marriage because they feel society will not understand. That they will be considered outcasts. With that fear deeply instilled in them, they continue to make their lives miserable by living in relationships that only make them unhappy. They think that by having children, by having a family, they might be able to reform their spouses. Sadly, nothing changes. I’ve only seen things get worse.
Although times have changed a little. We encourage women to work and to be financially independent but that still doesn’t seem to help. If a woman decides to divorce her husband, more often it’s family and close friends who tell her to rethink her decision. To maybe try and work things out for the sake of avoiding public embarrassment. If he beats her, if he misbehaves with her, is that not a solid reason for her to walk away and secure her pride?
Published in The Express Tribune, January 20th, 2015.