The travails of raising teens
Substance abuse and addiction is the nightmare of most parents of adolescent children.
I was recently asked to be the Master of Ceremonies at PC Hotel, Lahore, for an organisation called EHAD which conducts a nationwide awareness campaign urging parents and caretakers to guide children going into adolescence on vital issues related to their health and ultimate wellbeing. As a parent, I thought their insights worth sharing.
In the human life cycle, adolescence is unquestionably the most critical phase regardless of gender. The teenage years are the transitional stage from childhood to adulthood and are pivotal because that is when puberty takes place. Boys’ voices change, girls get their periods and the young ones become more sexually aware beings. They also begin to separate more from their parents and become more independent.
Guidance for this age group is important but also difficult. And if not guided properly during this stage, both young boys and girls can end up with physical or psychological problems. The primary duty of guidance obviously falls on parents to inform and educate them: pretty much answer every question, otherwise they will get incorrect information from wrong sources which can be disorientating and make puberty a stage of unpleasant discovery.
A common issue during puberty is emotional turmoil — anger, frustration, lack of confidence and personality conflicts. Moreover, a survey shows that girls perceive a change in attitude of people at this time owing to a newfound youth which scares them. This is compounded with the lack of access to correct information about puberty and hygiene in Pakistan.
Since lack of awareness is a contributing factor in all these issues, teachers need to promote discussions and opportunities for children to reflect on their experiences. Parents and teachers need to work on making children and adults aware of the various dimensions of abuse, life cycle changes and the concerns that adolescents have about and during puberty.
All in all, most of the problems of this growing age stem from the state of confusion caused by lack of self- awareness and roles a child needs to take in the transitional stage. Change is difficult to handle, be it for a teenager or an adult.
As adolescents gravitate towards their peers as influencers, there is the likelihood that negative habits catch on like a contagion. Parents are in a position to prepare children beforehand for situations in which they would encounter peer pressure and let them tackle those tough situations by acting them out, e.g, what would you do when your friends force you to smoke? It’s a good idea to say confidently that I am a fitness or health conscious individual therefore I am not into smoking.
Substance abuse and addiction is the nightmare of most parents of adolescent children. There are so many things one can become addicted to, including tobacco, alcohol, illegal drugs, prescription drugs, food, sleeping, compulsive behaviours, etc. Drug abuse is rapidly growing in Pakistan, especially amongst youth in colleges and universities, with serious social and health implications. Adolescents tend to succumb to drug addiction when they feel insecure or feel the need to belong, peer pressure, when they feel confined and want to rebel, for pain avoidance or just as a means to eliminate boredom. According to a National Assessment study on drug abuse in Pakistan, one out of ten college students in Pakistan is a drug addict.
If parents and caretakers communicate with their teenagers, they are often in a position to recognise changes in behaviour that result from substance abuse. More importantly, however, they can protect children from addiction by giving them adequate knowledge about the harmful effects of substance abuse, by keeping checks and balances, monitoring their activities, ensuring that they are disabling addictions and engaging them in healthy activities.
The need for instantaneous gratification that is the hallmark of the times and of adolescence is visible in addictions, anger, excessive texting, restless driving, instant rebellious retaliation, forming multiple romantic relationships. Short attention spans and quick fixes impair academic performance and relationships with family and friends. Poor relationships in turn affect adolescents at the emotional level and limit their access to accurate information.
Published in The Express Tribune, September 15th, 2014.
In the human life cycle, adolescence is unquestionably the most critical phase regardless of gender. The teenage years are the transitional stage from childhood to adulthood and are pivotal because that is when puberty takes place. Boys’ voices change, girls get their periods and the young ones become more sexually aware beings. They also begin to separate more from their parents and become more independent.
Guidance for this age group is important but also difficult. And if not guided properly during this stage, both young boys and girls can end up with physical or psychological problems. The primary duty of guidance obviously falls on parents to inform and educate them: pretty much answer every question, otherwise they will get incorrect information from wrong sources which can be disorientating and make puberty a stage of unpleasant discovery.
A common issue during puberty is emotional turmoil — anger, frustration, lack of confidence and personality conflicts. Moreover, a survey shows that girls perceive a change in attitude of people at this time owing to a newfound youth which scares them. This is compounded with the lack of access to correct information about puberty and hygiene in Pakistan.
Since lack of awareness is a contributing factor in all these issues, teachers need to promote discussions and opportunities for children to reflect on their experiences. Parents and teachers need to work on making children and adults aware of the various dimensions of abuse, life cycle changes and the concerns that adolescents have about and during puberty.
All in all, most of the problems of this growing age stem from the state of confusion caused by lack of self- awareness and roles a child needs to take in the transitional stage. Change is difficult to handle, be it for a teenager or an adult.
As adolescents gravitate towards their peers as influencers, there is the likelihood that negative habits catch on like a contagion. Parents are in a position to prepare children beforehand for situations in which they would encounter peer pressure and let them tackle those tough situations by acting them out, e.g, what would you do when your friends force you to smoke? It’s a good idea to say confidently that I am a fitness or health conscious individual therefore I am not into smoking.
Substance abuse and addiction is the nightmare of most parents of adolescent children. There are so many things one can become addicted to, including tobacco, alcohol, illegal drugs, prescription drugs, food, sleeping, compulsive behaviours, etc. Drug abuse is rapidly growing in Pakistan, especially amongst youth in colleges and universities, with serious social and health implications. Adolescents tend to succumb to drug addiction when they feel insecure or feel the need to belong, peer pressure, when they feel confined and want to rebel, for pain avoidance or just as a means to eliminate boredom. According to a National Assessment study on drug abuse in Pakistan, one out of ten college students in Pakistan is a drug addict.
If parents and caretakers communicate with their teenagers, they are often in a position to recognise changes in behaviour that result from substance abuse. More importantly, however, they can protect children from addiction by giving them adequate knowledge about the harmful effects of substance abuse, by keeping checks and balances, monitoring their activities, ensuring that they are disabling addictions and engaging them in healthy activities.
The need for instantaneous gratification that is the hallmark of the times and of adolescence is visible in addictions, anger, excessive texting, restless driving, instant rebellious retaliation, forming multiple romantic relationships. Short attention spans and quick fixes impair academic performance and relationships with family and friends. Poor relationships in turn affect adolescents at the emotional level and limit their access to accurate information.
Published in The Express Tribune, September 15th, 2014.