Plans abound when it comes to wooing or courting your beloved

It’s a day to celebrate love, the love for your spouse or your significant other. In short, Valentine’s Day is a day for romance. Candy hearts, love letters and paper mache are thrown around like crazy. Gifts are bought in abundance. Many believe that Valentine’s Day is just simply one more marketing tool used by major corporations. While there are many people who celebrate this colorful and expensive holiday, there are others who celebrate Valentine’s Day alone.

Lonely time for singles

If you don’t receive a dozen red roses this Valentine’s Day, don’t fret, you’re not alone.

The love season is a lonesome time for many -- flowers, chocolates and red hearts flaunted around can make it hard to ignore your single status.

As lovebirds enjoy a romantic meal together, you could be spending the night in front of the TV, with a meal for one.

Why I hate

Valentine’s Day is terrible for two kinds of people -- those who are single and those who aren’t.

For single people, the day is a disappointing reminder they don’t have that “special someone” in their life. Not a fun feeling -- believe me, many have been there.

But it can be worse for people in a relationship. Single people can choose to ignore Valentine’s Day. However, if you’re in a relationship, the last thing you want to do is ignore Valentine’s Day -- believe me, many have been there, too.

What may have started out as a holiday intended to bring couples together has been transformed into a commercial spectacle peddled to us by florists, greeting card companies, jewelry stores and makers of stuffed animals.

The issue is not with being romantic or expressing your feelings to the person you love. The issue is being required to do so on February 14. This date has zero connection to us. Each year on February 14 we are in essence commanded to be “romantic.”

It is understandable that Valentine’s Day earnestly purports to bring couples closer together. Great idea, but let’s be honest, how many of you have had fights on Valentine’s Day because of Valentine’s Day?

We certainly have had our share, usually when one of us in the relationship didn’t buy a nice enough gift or put in enough time planning a special “VDay” activity -- thus, transforming Valentine’s Day from a romantic evening for two into a scene from the film “The War of the Roses.”

Valentine’s Day has a muddled history. Some historians claim it was created in 469 when Pope Gelasius declared February 14 a day to honor St. Valentine. One legend contends that Valentine was a Christian martyr executed for standing up to the Roman emperor who wanted to ban soldiers from getting married. Yet another tale claims he was executed because of his Christian beliefs and signed his farewell note to his beloved: “From Your Valentine.”

While a third and more accepted belief is that the holiday marks the day that “birds begin to pair,” which is the day they choose their mate. So somehow because birds picked February 14 to “get it on,” we have to spend $100 on roses?

We would love to organize an “Occupy Valentine’s Day” movement. We would hold protests outside flower shops, Godiva chocolate factories and Build-A-Bear stores.

The protests would continue until these businesses stop bombarding us with commercials or until Valentine’s Day is moved -- from February 14 to February 29 so that we are only compelled to observe it once every four years.

Making Valentine’s Day Special

Plans abound when it comes to wooing or courting your beloved. There are so many ways to propose and confess your love; so many more ways to make them feel special when you’re not sharing the same room with them (even the same washroom for that matter!). But once you get married, you seem to run out of ideas to impress or even express your emotions to your significant other. Ever wondered why this happens? The answer is simple – we tend to take them for granted and in the process the relationship loses its charm completely.

But hey! It’s Valentine’s Day! And, if there is true love there is always a way to revive that in face of the toughest of adversities and uncertainties. It’s time for you to make your partner feel how much they are loved, wanted, needed and cared for – and yes, there are quite a few ways to do so, though less popularized, but they are there nonetheless!!

For your Wife

No, it’s not just expensive gifts that will take away. She will definitely prefer that only when it is accompanied with lots of warmth and love. And, you need to keep this in mind that she needs a true expression of love, anything less than that, or a half hearted effort may really disappoint her. To make your wife feel like she is really loved you need to know the way she loves to get things done and try helping her in doing those and then mix ‘n’ match that with small little gifts put here and there, along with notes with a few special words written on them (may even be memories of times you spent with her earlier). You may even take her out for a movie or plan for a special Valentine’s Day dinner or a weekend escapade.

For your Hubby

He has taken care of you and been there beside you during your most trying times. And, now it’s time for you to take care of him and pamper him. First, you need to get out of this idea that only wives are supposed to be pampered because men aren’t from Mars, they are every bit of a human being that you are and they also expect to be cared for as much as you do. So, this Valentine’s Day surprise your darling hubby by getting things that he loves such as a watch, deo spray or movie DVDs or anything that you might have seen him adoring when you went out shopping with him.

Published in The Express Tribune, February 14^th, 2013.