Of Malalas and Amandas
Most of us know the story of Malala Yousufzai, the brave 14-year-old Pakistani girl who was shot in the head by the Taliban for advocating education for girls. The winner of the National Peace Award, the dignified Malala began writing a diary for BBC Urdu that described life under Taliban rule from her home in the northwest region of Pakistan she affectionately called “My Swat.”
Threatened and eventually singled out from a group of girls in a school bus, young Malala was shot at and left for dead. As we read this, she still lies in hospital.
Halfway across the world, at the same time that Malala was being threatened by the Taliban, there was another girl, roughly the same age, who was also being harassed. At the age of 11, Amanda Todd was lured by a stranger on the internet to expose her breasts via webcam. The pictures were then used to torment her on Facebook. Even though she changed schools, she was taunted and physically beaten by her classmates. Plunging into anxiety, depression, drugs and alcohol, she resorted to posting a haunting video on YouTube detailing years of bullying. It was a plea for help. But no help came. Last week, the 15-year-old committed suicide.
Yes, that is sad, you say, but what is the connection? What could these two girls possibly have in common — Malala being an exemplary child, the kind of girl who inspires revolutions and Amanda, a privileged kid from Vancouver who cynics have gone so far as to describe as promiscuous?
The answer is hatred, a subconscious loathing for women which is then unleashed upon the girl-child. No matter how far we think we have come from the days of female infanticide and the burning at stake of young girls, the truth is that both cultures have yet to get over their fear of women. It is the dreaded thought of women discovering their inner strength and dignity that lies at the core of the heinous crimes we have seen committed against them historically.
What we see in the cases of Malala and Amanda are just different cultural manifestations of this age-old desire to subjugate women. In Western cultures, we see a glossy, airbrushed version of exploitation today, as women are led to believe they are free but are instead slaves to a mindless consumerism in which they are being sold that which cannot replace inner dignity. And the relatively new phenomenon of social media have taken the sexual exploitation of young girls to a new level — Amanda Todd, unfortunately, being just one of hundreds of thousands of girls targeted by this new weapon. In the East, as we know, the control mechanism du jour has always been shame. Girls are threatened into subjugation to escape dishonour. And the only way to avoid this dark curse is to conform to the man-made dogma shoved down their throats under the guise of religion. They are shown outer signs of piety (swaddling themselves, staying indoors, remaining uneducated and unquestioning) that they must emulate if they want to escape violence. Not too long ago, we saw a video of a young girl in Swat being flogged publicly. Now, we have seen the attempted murder of an even younger girl.
Going back to Malala Yousufzai and Amanda Todd, it is obvious that they were both reaching out for help — Malala through her brave journal writing and Amanda through her heart-wrenching YouTube video. But their respective societies failed them. This is something we cannot afford to do. We must love and protect the girl-child, the Malala and the Amanda, the strong as well as the unsure. We cannot expect every young girl to display the extraordinary strength of Malala but we cannot burn her at stake for being human, for erring like Amanda, either.
We must love the girl-child because we have no choice. For eventually, she is the only one who has the power to break this cycle of violence. We must instil in her a sense of pride, of strength, of feeling supported so that she may raise her sons as loving, compassionate men and not monsters who murder little girls.
Published in The Express Tribune, October 19th, 2012.
COMMENTS (32)
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Nice one Ayeda
@Ahmad Hassan Awan: God has not made it so, man has made it so. Women who do put their mind forth can compete and surpass men so how can you say God made it so they couldn't or shouldn't? That's the same excuse men have been giving for centuries and its high time such an archaic school of thought be abolished. If men need women to appear limited or weak to be attracted to them then I'm sorry I'd be okay without men. That's a shortcoming and a deep seated insecurity in a man's mind. People say women are insecure, but men like you remind me its men who are insecure not women. Luckily I know of many men who aren't of a similar school of thought and have a healthy refreshing outlook regarding strong women.
Supporting the girl child does not make you a male hater. Shame on anyone who thinks so. They are responsible for the condition of our country today.
Amazing article .Well done. Ayeda , you brought up aa thought provoking message. The Girlchild is to be cherished ,not tossed away as a rag. Every living creature has a purpose in life so live and let live.
I work for a UN sponsored women's NGO and was delighted to read this article. However I would take it one step further and describe how young girls in Pakistan are in a sense still buried alive (the shame often associated with giving birth to another girl, the second-rate treatment of the girl-child as compared to her male counterpart and the education opportunities that are taken away from her and given to her brothers instead). In my field work in Pakistani villages I have seen how young girls are given less food than their brothers and made to work in the fields to help earn money so their brothers can go to school. The International Day of the Girl Child was a very sad for us here in Pakistan. I support the empowering of the girl-child because as the writer wrote so aptly eventually she is the only one who has the power to break this cycle of violence.
Tinky excellent comparison and what amazing deep understanding of the problem viewed with great understanding.
these second wave feminist ideas are NOT new or out of the box as stated by some commentators. they don't help women's cause and are unfair to the little men who are not the elites who set the cultural, economic and political agenda.
The sad attempt on Malala's life is a manifestation of a mindset based on an incorrect reading of religion and should be treated as such rather than using it for disingenuous hate agenda.
men don't hate or fear women - we want fairness and open mindedness in return. get over your victim complex which you share with radical religious bigots. ask yourself if your man hating makes you a better person?
I still cant understand how u related both these girls....Thats like relating Gandhi and gaddafi because both of them were men and were assassinated....
Malala is a story of hope..She blogged during a time even the toughest pathan was subjugated by the Taliban rule and never stopped her campaign despite of death threats and she was murdered by a man,though she survived...
Amanda is a story of despair,where an innocent girl was fooled into doing something using which she was bullied by her classmates...She attempted suicide before that and wasnt properly counselled,which led to her ultimate death
The closest u can relate to Amanda Todd is Tyler clementi who commited suicide when his sexual activity was filmed by his roommate and broadcasted to his friends...
While the general point that you are making is certainly true and entirely correct. I'm surprised that you didn't point out that the Amanda's cyber-stalker is universally reviled in his society and that he has been arrested and charged for his actions while the killers of Malala are being defended and celebrated by wide sections of Pakistani society. Surely there is an objective difference in how their societies view both the victims and the perpetrators?
Thank you for this. You make an extremely valid point : Misogyny has no religion, it has no color of skin. It knows no borders. Most of us are so wrapped up in our own cultural context, we are unable to extend the same compassion we have for victims of our own culture to victims of other cultures. Bravo to the writer for being able to step outside of her own culture and connect with the world.
In the last 10 days, as we saw the tragic fates of Malala Yousafzai and Amanda Todds, the world was observing International Day of the Girl Child, an international effort started by the United Nations. This is a very timely and pertinent article. The girl child has been under attack for centuries, in MANY cultures, across the world. This is a very real problem. In India we are struggling with child marriages, yet another way of controlling and subjugating the girl child. We have many challenges, the biggest being a mindset that does not acknowledge the problem. I appreciate the message of hope at the end of this article.
Some of the contributions have obviously required considerable thought. However, in my view, they appear to reflect the misogyny that exists in the world, and if misogyny is not intended then they are a very good imitation of, or a lesser substitute for it. Although misogyny appears to exist in large numbers within some Muslim communities, and Pakistan is no exception, the Western world cannot be let of the hook by any means. In fact the Western variant can be more dangerous, because of the subtle way in which it is perpetrated. One could go through the whole psychological gambit of the way children are treated and this could also include male and female, but the bottom line is that they need protection, regardless of whether they are heroins or belonging to the millions who do not reach that status, in Pakistan, Canada, or elsewhere. If I am understanding Ayeda Husain correctly I think she is making a valid point.
@Abhi The fact is that Malala was kept from studies because she was a young girl. Amanda was sexually harassed because she was a young girl. None of these cases are individual, isolated incidents. Each girl represents millions of others who have been meted out the same treatment. If you still do not see the exploitation of the girl child here then you are trying very hard not to see it. Kudos to the writer!
Why are men having such a hard time digesting the message of this article? Is the truth really so painful?
I disagree that there was no similarity between the two young girls. In their different worlds, they were both targeted because being young girls they were easy prey. They were both threatened, bullied and intimidated so that they would not break outside of man-mandated rules of acceptable decorum. As the writer says "What we see in the cases of Malala and Amanda are just different cultural manifestations of this age-old desire to subjugate women"
I can give you lot of stories about teenage boys commiting sucide because of bullying, ragging etc. How are you going to fit them in your narrative?
Malala and Amanda are two different persons. Their fame and defame for very different reasons.These two persons are polar apart. The writer is trying to immune the readers from the bad actions of Amanda. Wrong Choice of Malala comparison.The writer could have/should have express the cruel male dominance by choosing or leaving the Amanda from her story. I often wonder why women are not at par in driving cars, playing any sports or inventing anything the world has benefited so far. It means God has made them so. Women should compete and they can defeat the men but there are some limitations and these limitations make women more attractive for us men. Women should be educated and they have all the right to make progress in Life. Women and Men should support each other rather compete. Those who think women suppression is way forward are at fault. The whole humanity is manifestation of women importance and we need to appreciate this fact.
In substance there is no similarity between two young girls, as one was seduced whereas other i.e. Malala stood for a cause.
Trying to bring this debate down to a single denominator is wrong. An apple is not an orange just because both of them are fruits. It is more complex than that and I am surprised that a journalist with 19 years behind her does not understand this.
I found this article online by default. I am a Canadian and mother of four daughters and my community has been devastated by the death of Amanda Todd. I live in a sleepy little town near Saskatchewan and did a google seacrh on Amanda Todd and was very curious when it brought me to a newspaper in Pakistan. It is a connection I would have never made, the one of Malala and Amanda. My newspaper here reports only local news so I did not know much about Malala. I am sure many of you in Pakistan have also not heard about Amanda Todd.Thank you to Ayeda Hussain for thinking outside of her cultural circle and linking the two tragedies. I have not been able to stop thinking about the two girls since I read this. It is heart wrenching enough to be a parent and protect your children from the misogyny that we have inherited from history. Such writing puts our own fears in a larger global and historical perspective. I will definitely be looking at this newspaper for more thought provoking writing.
@gp65: Agreed 100%. Very pertinent.....
Absolutely correct! It is the dreaded fear of women discovering their inner strength and dignity that has been the cause of so many henious crimes committed against them historically. In times of war the women and young girls are the ones who have been raped because it takes away their strength and dignity and brings them to their knees. It is a centuries old weapon of war because everyone knows, if you bring a woman to her knees, you bring the men around her to their knees. Malala Yousafzai is different because of her strength. Millions of her counterparts have been brought to their knees by the same mindset that tried to burn these two young girls at stake. It is a pity that men making comments on this article miss the very point that Ayeda is trying to make! Malala and Amanda have more in common that our dogmatic minds will allow us to see!
@gp65: Insightful comment, shed more light than the original article, contrasted the differences rather than the original contrived similarities. . @Mr Sunny Loni: Actually Amanda's case is unique, Malala's case is what girls in certain regions of Pakistan are suffering on a daily basis, only solace being that they are not being target individually (yet). . I find the affinity to link disparate stories by a multitude of authors of this newspaper amusing. Without researching into this matter at all, I can safely say that no Canadian newspaper would have linked Amanda to Malala nor is any other girl in Canada likely to be linked to Malala in future. . Pakistan's wounds are self inflicted. The earlier each citizen takes ownership of its problems, the sooner Pakistan will get out of the hole it has dug itself in.
"No matter how far we think we have come from the days of female infanticide and the burning at stake of young girls, the truth is that both cultures have yet to get over their fear of women. It is the dreaded thought of women discovering their inner strength and dignity that lies at the core of the heinous crimes we have seen committed against them historically" ---- brilliantly put Ayeda Hussain! You have taken a view at the larger picture. The Taliban are incidental - this is an issue that runs much deeper and through our history. Please write more on this topic.
Thank you Ayeda for your fresh perspective. It is refreshing to see that someone is still using their mind and not recycling other people's views as everyone is doing now on the MAlala case. We look forward to more astute analysis from you. Please do not be deterred by cynical comments of women haters. If you see the people who have written the above it is obvious that they are all men. Women who think independently have always frightened men; that is a point you made in your article and it is being proven by some of the comments being made. We need more writers like you who are not afraid to think out of the box!
To view the case of Malala through the prism of women's rights, and the condition of women in society in general, is natural. But its importance lies in her brave and determined efforts to highlight the idea of education for women and negation of the Taliban position on the matter. She has emerged as a tiny flame of hope for the oppressed women in primitive Muslim communities. This tiny flame needs to be taken over by the more fortunate educated women of Muslim society and spread it widely as much as keep it alive.
The importance of Malala for Pakistan, and Muslims in general, is brilliantly brought out by Munir Saami in the following video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=eu8NyLeMCbc
why let facts stop me from my misandric mindset? better to seize the opportunity to give went to hate. wish you best of luck Ayeda!
I agree with the posters above. Malala's case is unique, a brave young girl who stood up for her rights to demand education and was punished due to a chauvinistic, medieval ideology did not allow her. Any other comparison diminishes the valour and the true sacrifice Malala has made.
I think a lot of people on ET would instantly realize what you have tried to do here. To be honest, I too feel bad for the author you are trying to protect from the overwhelming negative comments it received. She is still young and the Internet can be a cruel place, it is easy for us to use the veil of anonymity and criticize with impunity. But I feel ET has failed as a newspaper to protect its standards by allowing half-baked ideas to appear on its web site.
Seriously what is with linking Malala and Amanda? Apart from gender and age there is nothing in common between these 2 girls?
Amanda's case is sad. She was a victim of a sexual predator and then later on got bullied in school. IT is unclear what her parents were upto - first in terms of absence of internet controls that allowed her to become a victim of the predator and later in terms of taking up the bullying with the school authorities. The predator and bullies are bad eggs and should be identified and prosecuted. The teachers of schools where Amanda was being bullied clearly did not exercise adequate oversight and can after due process have disciplinary actions taken if warranted. But there is no organization in Canada that says ALL school going 15 year olds that go to school will be bullied until they commit suicide.
Malala's case is not an individual case but is to be viewed in light of the 400 girls schools that have been blown up by TTP. The fact that prior to the 2009 Swat operation the TTP were gving threats to all parents who sent their daughters to what they described as secular schools - but basically schools that taught regular curriculum as distinct from madrassahs. IT is to beseen in conjunction with the fact that Pakistan has 5.1 million kids out of school which is the 2nd largest number in the world behind Nigeria and of these 66% are girls. Thus girls in Pakistan have to overcome many barriers to get educated and having an organization like TTP make an example of one girl who was a role model and advicate for girls being educated is not an individual issue. It is a girls'education issue in Pakistan.