“King chips, chocolate biscuit, lemon biscuit, Lay’s blue-walli packet, one Pakola, one Coke, one Twix but if you can’t get the Twix get Bounty.”
“Ma’am mein abhi pump gaya tha. King chips khatam ho gae.”
“Mahim! King chips are over at the petrol pump.”
“Mahim ke liye Lay’s le kar ana, magr red walli.”
“Aj kitne hue?”
“Ma’am, paanch likh dain?”
“Ok. Ok. Mein check karta hun.”
At least five people were killed in separate acts of violence. [Delete]
At least five people were killed in Karachi on Friday.
At least six people were killed in Karachi on Friday.
“What day is it today?”
“Mahim, it’s Thursday. I just told you.”
At least six people were killed in Karachi on Thursday.
“Mahim, wo story ke sath picture nahi he.”
“Saifi, mera sar laga do.”
“Mahim, wo, pura nahi aega.”
At least seven people were killed in Karachi on Thursday.
At least seven people were killed in Karachi on Friday.
“Mahim. Sherry’s saying that he won’t be filing that mangroves thing today.”
“I’ll wring his neck. SHERRY!”
“Yeah. I’m really sorry but unless I actually go to the place. You know. And today I had to do the seminar.”
“Hmmm. Ok. Tomorrow?”
“Here listen. You guys. What the hell is going on? It’s 8:45pm and NOTHING has been filed. What does this look like? A monthly magazine? Saad? Noman?”
“Bas abhi file karta hun. Last sentence.”
“You haven’t even started typing.”
“Abhi aa raha he. Abhi. Bas abhi.”
“I’m going to wring your neck. The event finished at noon. What the hell have you been doing all this time?”
“Mahim, wo traffic… and bike mein puncture.”
“I’m not taking it today.”
“Mahim! Please. Pleeeeez.”
“Nope. Sorry. I’ve already told you a million times. The pages are already late.”
“Mahim, peg samaj me nahi aa raha tha.”
“What do you think the peg is?”
“Well, the guy said the usual stuff. All of it was the exact same stuff. We need more funds, the government is corrupt. They’re calling the Chinese in…”
“Whoa…. Whoa. Stop. They’re calling the Chinese in?”
“Buddy! So that’s your peg, na. What’s the matter with you? You had it right all along. Just trust yourself and finish it up.”
“Faraz, mera number mila do. Nine people dead. Headline banega: Express Tribune ki city editor ne khud kushi kar li.”
“Ma’am woh, crime map pey jaega? Page 18 par?
Published in The Express Tribune, April 12th, 2012.
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