United in revelry

However, don’t expect to see overenthusiastic geeks, flaunting their perfect knowledge on international relations, at the event. Yes, you won’t have much luck finding a bunch of Sheldons on this occasion. Instead, the MUN is like a big party of the ‘coolest’ kids from Pakistan’s elite educational institutions (which probably explains why debates on current affairs often go awry).

And when these youngsters come to the MUN, they come in style. Yes, there’s a dress code for this event. In case, you want to attend this event next year, below are a few tips to turn heads in a crowd:

So boys, scour the market for the most uncomfortable-looking suit imaginable — the kind you wear to every event in Pakistan, from weddings to your graduation ceremony. If they wish to stand out from the crowd, then stick to flamboyant silk ties, which are apparently all rage this season. Nothing speaks louder than a loud tie. All eyes are usually on the boys with the gaudiest ties. But we can’t promise all ears too, though. That depends on how long you spent rehearsing in front of the mirror, or better yet, in front of your brothers and sisters who were laughing their heads off,  as you stuttered your way through your lines.

And girls, it’s time to bring out those dress pants from the back of your closet. Please? No? Alright, have it your way then. Be careful you don’t spill any of that nail polish or mascara on your brand new tailor-made dress, though.
And don’t wear pencil heels, please. Once you‘ve found out on the first day how uncomfortable they can make you feel after an hour and a half.


Now that you know what to wear, here’s a glimpse of the mayhem what awaits you. Here’s a short first-hand account of one of the MUN sessions held this winter:

People seemed to have actually done their research today. They fired off with the debate on rights of prisoners of war (POWs) — they were supposed to be criticising a working paper. One delegate decided to step in as Germany’s representative, and explain how POWs should be treated. But nobody quite paid any attention to him; there was too much noise in the room. One delegate was very distracted. “I can’t find my placard!” he screamed, only to later on to find out that he was sitting on it. Suddenly the delegates were anxiously getting up from their chairs. They didn’t even wait for a break.

After the lunch break, the UNHRC adjoined for a crisis session because Sherry Rehman had been shot dead. And when the debate amongst simulated world leaders began, it was nothing short of ludicrous.

Hilary Clinton was extremely fervent — as she spoke emphatically, a wad of chewing gum shot out of her mouth. Embarrassed, she quickly picked it from the floor.

Indira Gandhi’s quote was unforgettable. “This is a serious issue. I myself was assassinated similarly,” she cried. The most entertaining delegate was the rabid maulvi from Afghanistan. He played his part so convincingly that everyone wondered whether he actually believed what he was saying! But many delegates remained confused — They wondered what’s S Rehman’s assassination got to do with POWs?

So hopefully, you are now prepared for what goes on at the event, before you contemplate being part of your school’s MUN team. My advice is to go for it: you’ll meet new people, learn (albeit, just a little bit) about the country you’re representing and hang out with your friends.
It’s certainly not the most intellectually stimulating experience, but MUN is great fun.

Published in The Express Tribune, February 18^th, 2012.