Salmaan Taseer on Twitter: Razor sharp wit, funny quips

Whether it was celebrity gossip or a tweet ridiculing the Sharif brothers, Twitter could always rely on former Punjab Governor Salmaan Taseer for funny quips.

Taseer’s humorous tweets professing self-adulation, and especially those directed towards his daughter Sara Taseer were certainly amongst his finest.

The best thing about these Tweets is that they were uncensored and relentless – he was not afraid to laugh at himself or anyone else and did it with a great sense of wit.

(Tweets have been proofread for readability)

 

THE LIGHTER SIDE OF TASEER

 

• Sania Mirza and Shoaib Malik have knocked off the electricity crisis... Thank God!


• Doctors have become an endangered species... I am going to recommend a wildlife fund to take out the panda and put in the Pakistani doctor.


• I suggest calling ALL party heads and not just Nawaz Sharif, who will look like he's swallowed a frog.


• For the last 48 hours I've been trying to sell Pakistan to US investors in the background of Kasab - now Faisal Shehzad !Chalo himat na haro


• My wit is not appreciated by all. Someone agitated 'no governor in the universe Twitters like you’. I took it as a compliment.


• Twitter is off my BB so I'm using my iPad, I assume my silence must have been devastating.




• After my interview on Dunya TV tonight I will consider opening an exclusive ST fan club. Minimum requirement under 80 with a heartbeat!


• Burdens of state must have damaged my brain pattern.


• Most politicians I have followed on twitter give dull dreary motivational messages with no attempt at wit or originality. Why?


• I'm surprised to see Nawaz Sharif complaint at Babar Awan using private planes as he and Sharif family use Governor Punjab plane like a rickshaw.


• My daughter Sara is going to Spain to watch the football final! Somebody forgot to tell her it is in South Africa!


• Sharifs are transporting Paul the Octopus to Raiwind to predict their future! I’m afraid he may end up in their Paya if he tells the truth.


• Initially I was targeted by PMLN, Islamic fundo hate groups etc. Now its Hindu lunatics RSS and Pak haters. I must b doing something right!


• PM spoke for 3 minutes to give General Kiyani 3 year extension… Suppose he had spoken for 10 mins?!


• Tried for Angelina Jolie to accompany me to Muz'grh but got Farzana Raja. Sare khawashat pure Nahin hote.


• I’ll send Sheikh Rashid RT @smitaprakash: So Jolie went to Pakistan, can we have Brad Pitt here. I mean we got floods too, you know.


• Thank God I left today RT @marvi_memon: I hav entered seraiki speakin territory Sep 9


• I'm amazed that the simplistic pathetic remarks to my JOKE that Sarah Palin can't tell difference between a KOREAN and QORAN! Humor?


• I think Angelina Jolie who donated $100,000 for Flood victims is the real "daughter of Pakistan".


• Watching horror movie on HBO or Rana Sanaullah Ijaz Haq Ikram Sehgal on talk shows? Chose HBO its less scary.


• Just don’t push me over the LOC! RT @marvi_memon: @SalmaanTaseer U r cordially invited. U must make a dhoohandaar speech. My only demand.


• Perhaps the best thing Nawaz Sharif ever did was declare Sunday the national holiday.


• Sorry I discuss people RT @husainhaqqani Great minds discuss ideas average minds discuss events small minds discuss people Eleanor Roosevelt.


• Abdul Razzaq is the Asma Jehangir of one day cricket.


• A thief stole my credit card a week ago but I didn't report it because I saw he was spending less money than my wife. True!


• I've decided to sacrifice something dear to me for Eid. Where are you Sara?


• Its 6 am child reciting naat on Masjid loudspeaker to tune of "Muni badnam ho gaye darling tere leye" when does this madness stop?