Movies in 2012
Here are some of the hottest flicks coming your way in 2012.
So what do you do while you’re waiting for the world to end, your local business district to be occupied, and for Pakistani politics to take a turn for the better — or at least the marginally sane? You watch a movie of course! And here are some of the hottest flicks coming your way in 2012.
Titanic 3D: 2012 marks both the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the RMS Titanic and the theatrical re-release of James Cameron’s epic film, Titanic, in 3D. When the Titanic met its demise in 1912, more than 1500 passengers perished in the icy waters of the Atlantic. The 4D version will probably come out in 2013, so you too can experience the icy grip of death in the perilous Atlantic!
Game of Thrones: Season 2 — Winter is coming... no seriously... Be ready for Dragons, War, the new Hand of the King (Hint: He’s vertically challenged) and Snow, Snow, Snow!
Skyfall: Production on the 23rd James Bond movie has finally started, after being suspended throughout 2010 because of MGM’s financial troubles. Bond is back after a long hiatus and he doesn’t give a damn if his martini is shaken or stirred.
Dredd: Everybody remembers the abysmal 1995 film, Judge Dredd, starring Sylvester Stallone and Rob Schneider. Let’s hope the reboot, Dredd, excises all memories of its horrible predecessor.
The Expendables 2: The Expendables are back and this time there are new faces. The star studded line-up includes Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Chuck Norris, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Liam Hemsworth, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Now if only Bruce Lee were still alive, the movie would just spontaneously combust from all the awesomeness.
The Dark Knight Rises: One of the most eagerly awaited film of next year, The Dark Knight Rises will be the third and final instalment in Nolan’s Batman film series. Christian Bale’s horrible raspy ‘I am Batman’ voice will violate our ears one last time as he fights the Back-breaking Bane with his fists and a batarang or two.
The Amazing Spider-Man: It’s Spiderman and we get to see his origin story, all over again, hurray. Who doesn’t like to see a pimply kid on the cusp of adulthood discover that he can shoot web fluid... from his hands.
Prometheus: Ridley Scott’s upcoming science fiction film will explore the mythology of the Alien universe. The film will probably make you want a flesh eating alien with acid for blood in your tummy too.
Men in Black III: Here come the Men in Black, they won’t let you remember! Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are back together after a decade with the third film in the MIB series. Shouldn’t TLJ retire the Raybans now and cash in the MIB pension fund?
The Avengers: It’s the ultimate superhero mash-up! Iron Man + The Incredible Hulk + Thor + Captain America = Mind blown.
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace 3D: The most reviled film of the Star Wars saga will finally be released in 3D, yay. As if watching Jar Jar Binks in two dimensions wasn’t bad enough.
The Three Stooges: Hey! It’s Moe, Curly and Larry on the silver screen! Sadly no one will remember who they are and the studios will slowly flog the sequel horse until it dies a sad and painful death. Do you even know who the fourth Stooge was? It was Shemp!
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: It’s time to go back to Middle Earth! The first part of the two part adaptation of the 1937 novel, Hobbit, is finally going to hit the big screen next year. Look! It’s Bilbo, Gollum and Gandalf... what the hell are Legolas and Frodo doing here?
Published in The Express Tribune, Sunday Magazine, January 1st, 2012.
Titanic 3D: 2012 marks both the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the RMS Titanic and the theatrical re-release of James Cameron’s epic film, Titanic, in 3D. When the Titanic met its demise in 1912, more than 1500 passengers perished in the icy waters of the Atlantic. The 4D version will probably come out in 2013, so you too can experience the icy grip of death in the perilous Atlantic!
Game of Thrones: Season 2 — Winter is coming... no seriously... Be ready for Dragons, War, the new Hand of the King (Hint: He’s vertically challenged) and Snow, Snow, Snow!
Skyfall: Production on the 23rd James Bond movie has finally started, after being suspended throughout 2010 because of MGM’s financial troubles. Bond is back after a long hiatus and he doesn’t give a damn if his martini is shaken or stirred.
Dredd: Everybody remembers the abysmal 1995 film, Judge Dredd, starring Sylvester Stallone and Rob Schneider. Let’s hope the reboot, Dredd, excises all memories of its horrible predecessor.
The Expendables 2: The Expendables are back and this time there are new faces. The star studded line-up includes Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Chuck Norris, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Liam Hemsworth, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Now if only Bruce Lee were still alive, the movie would just spontaneously combust from all the awesomeness.
The Dark Knight Rises: One of the most eagerly awaited film of next year, The Dark Knight Rises will be the third and final instalment in Nolan’s Batman film series. Christian Bale’s horrible raspy ‘I am Batman’ voice will violate our ears one last time as he fights the Back-breaking Bane with his fists and a batarang or two.
The Amazing Spider-Man: It’s Spiderman and we get to see his origin story, all over again, hurray. Who doesn’t like to see a pimply kid on the cusp of adulthood discover that he can shoot web fluid... from his hands.
Prometheus: Ridley Scott’s upcoming science fiction film will explore the mythology of the Alien universe. The film will probably make you want a flesh eating alien with acid for blood in your tummy too.
Men in Black III: Here come the Men in Black, they won’t let you remember! Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are back together after a decade with the third film in the MIB series. Shouldn’t TLJ retire the Raybans now and cash in the MIB pension fund?
The Avengers: It’s the ultimate superhero mash-up! Iron Man + The Incredible Hulk + Thor + Captain America = Mind blown.
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace 3D: The most reviled film of the Star Wars saga will finally be released in 3D, yay. As if watching Jar Jar Binks in two dimensions wasn’t bad enough.
The Three Stooges: Hey! It’s Moe, Curly and Larry on the silver screen! Sadly no one will remember who they are and the studios will slowly flog the sequel horse until it dies a sad and painful death. Do you even know who the fourth Stooge was? It was Shemp!
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: It’s time to go back to Middle Earth! The first part of the two part adaptation of the 1937 novel, Hobbit, is finally going to hit the big screen next year. Look! It’s Bilbo, Gollum and Gandalf... what the hell are Legolas and Frodo doing here?
Published in The Express Tribune, Sunday Magazine, January 1st, 2012.