Anoushey Ashraf says society questions women who marry later in life

Television host Anoushey Ashraf has opened up about the public scrutiny she faced for remaining unmarried until her 40s, saying her family always prioritised education and financial stability over societal expectations about marriage.

Appearing in an interview with Vasay Chaudhry, Ashraf discussed the attention surrounding her decision to marry in her 40s and questioned why a woman’s personal choices so often become a subject of public discussion. “When you get married at 40, people ask a lot of questions,” she said, describing the scrutiny faced by women who do not follow society’s expected timeline for marriage.

Ashraf also recalled an encounter with an older woman whose reaction to her years as an unmarried woman left her surprised. “One time an aunty grabbed me and was like, ‘I used to do so many prayers for you,’ and I’m like, ‘What? It’s not that big of a deal,’” she said.

The anecdote reflects a familiar social attitude in Pakistan, where remaining unmarried beyond a certain age can be treated as a cause for concern rather than a personal choice.

Ashraf, however, said she had been building a fulfilling life long before marriage entered the picture. “I was working, earning money, living respectfully, travelling, and I’m educated, and here they were crying,” she said, pointing to the independence and stability she had achieved.

Her remarks challenge the assumption that a woman’s happiness or success is incomplete without a husband. Ashraf’s experience highlights how professional independence, personal growth and the freedom to make one’s own decisions can be sources of fulfilment regardless of marital status.

She also spoke about the double standards women encounter before and after marriage, noting that getting married does not necessarily free them from society’s scrutiny but can bring a new set of expectations.

“When you’re not married, you can do many things and people will judge you. Now after getting married, no matter what I say, somehow in our society it’s expected that I have higher social standards now because I have a man standing next to me,” she explained.

Her observation highlights how a woman’s social standing can become tied to whether she has a husband. Instead of being recognised for her individual identity, achievements and values, she may be judged according to the perceived respectability or status associated with marriage.

Ashraf also credited her mother with shaping her outlook on marriage and independence, recalling advice that placed personal happiness and financial security above social pressure.

“My mother always raised me to believe that if staying happy means staying single, I should. Just make sure you’re financially settled. We have given you everything and raised you well enough to know you can make your own choices,” she said.

The advice placed financial independence and personal happiness at the centre of a woman’s life rather than treating marriage as an obligation. It also reflected her mother’s belief that daughters should be equipped to make their own decisions and define fulfilment on their own terms.

Her mother’s approach, Ashraf suggested, was not about rejecting marriage but ensuring that it remained a choice rather than a necessity. Women should be able to enter relationships because they want to share their lives with someone, not because they fear social judgement or feel that time is running out.

Ashraf remains active as a VJ, television and radio host, actor and producer. She rose to prominence in the early 2000s as one of the pioneering faces of Pakistan’s music television scene and has also spoken publicly about women’s independence, animal welfare and environmental issues.