The other way to be a parent

In a society like ours, where parenthood is considered a divine blessing and social milestone, childlessness often carries emotional and cultural burdens. Meanwhile, millions of orphaned children across the country long for a family, a home, and a chance at life. What if these two unmet needs could fulfill each other?

Adoption is not just an act of compassion; it is an answer to two silent prayers. It brings emotional peace to couples unable to have children and provides love, security, and opportunity to children who have lost everything. In a nation struggling with social inequality, displacement, and orphanhood, promoting adoption both culturally and religiously can be a transformative force.

I have seen many couples in our society who remain childless even after several years of marriage. Despite being financially strong, emotionally mature, and socially well-settled, they continue to wait for their “own” child, turning to expensive medical treatments or spiritual solutions, while rarely considering adoption.

I remember during my time in Karachi, I knew at least seven to eight such couples who had been married for over six to seven years and still didn’t have children. They were loving, capable people who had everything needed to raise a child except a shift in mindset. They could have changed a child’s life and perhaps their own, simply by opening their hearts to adoption.

I also recall my time as a school teacher, where I often interacted with colleagues and parents during meetings and school events. Even there, I came across couples who had no children and frequently spoke about their longing to become parents. Looking at the growing number of orphaned children in Pakistan, I often wondered silently: Why don’t they adopt? Why can’t these loving people open their homes to children who have no one?

In Pakistan, an estimated 15 to 20 per cent of married couples are unable to have children, according to national health data. That means one in every five to six couples silently struggles with infertility. Yet few consider adoption as a solution.

About a year ago, I met a couple from Nawabshah, Sindh, whose story completely changed my perspective on adoption. They were not highly educated, but the decision they made was deeply wise and compassionate. After several years of trying and waiting for a child, they chose to adopt a baby girl. Despite coming from a modest background, they raised her with unconditional love, ensured she received proper schooling, and gave her everything a child deserves in terms of care, affection, and dignity.

Miraculously, a few years later, they were naturally blessed with biological children as well. Their adopted daughter grew up joyfully, surrounded by siblings, thriving in a household where she was never treated any differently. That one decision not only transformed her life, it brought emotional and spiritual fulfillment to the entire family. It was a powerful reminder that you don’t need a high degree to make an educated decision; you just need a kind heart.

This story proved to me that adoption does not block blessings; it multiplies them.

A forgotten generation

According to the UN, there are more than 4.6 million orphan children in Pakistan, and mostly they are under the age of 17. This significant portion of our population is suffering from social deprivation, lacking not only parental love but also access to basic rights such as education, healthcare, safety, and emotional support. Their condition reflects a crisis that must be addressed on an urgent and national scale.

The vulnerability doesn’t end there. A shocking 3.3 million children in Pakistan are engaged in child labour, many of whom are orphans or come from broken and unsupported homes. These children are forced into domestic work, begging, factory labour, or even dangerous jobs that rob them of their health and their future. Without education or stability, their dreams are crushed before they even begin to grow.

Many of these children have lost their families due to poverty, terrorism, illness, or natural disasters such as floods and earthquakes. Without parental care and protection, they often end up in overcrowded orphanages or on the streets where they face neglect, exploitation, and abuse.

Natural disasters have made this problem worse. The 2005 Kashmir earthquake left thousands of children orphaned overnight. Amid this heartbreak, one story still inspires many—renowned singer Hadiqa Kiani adopted a baby boy, Naad-e-Ali, from the affected region. She gave him a home, an identity, and a future.

Her action remains a shining example that motherhood is not defined by birth, but by love.

These are not just numbers. These are lives; young souls with untapped potential, and waiting for someone to care. By opening our hearts and homes, we can rewrite their stories.

Islam and adoption

Contrary to cultural hesitation, Islam does not prohibit adoption. In fact, it encourages the care of orphans in powerful and explicit terms. While the religion maintains the child's lineage and identity (nasab), it urges believers to take full responsibility for orphaned children, providing them with love, protection, and sustenance.

The Qur'an says: "They ask you concerning orphans. Say: Improvement for them is best."
(Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:220)

"And they give food in spite of love for it to the needy, the orphan, and the captive, [saying], and ‘We feed you only for the countenance of Allah. We wish not from you reward or gratitude.'"
(Surah Al-Insan, 76:8-9)

The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) himself was an orphan. His love for orphans is deeply invested in Islamic teachings. He said:

"I and the one who cares for an orphan will be together in Paradise like this,"
and he indicated his two fingers together to illustrate closeness. (Sahih Bukhari)

This hadith alone should be enough to motivate Muslim couples to consider caring for an orphan. Adoption, in the Islamic framework of kafalah (guardianship), allows a child to retain their name and identity while being raised with love and dignity in a stable home.

When a child is adopted into a stable, loving home, they gain access to education, healthcare, emotional support, and social security. No longer lost in a system, the child now has a real chance to break out of the cycle of poverty and trauma.

From street shelter children to CEOs, success stories begin with opportunity. When childless couples adopt, they do not only just fulfill their own dream of parenting but also they give a child the gift of a new life. That child may grow up to become a doctor, teacher, leader, or change-maker. But more than anything, that child grows up loved.

Moreover, the couple gains emotional fulfillment, companionship in old age, and a deeper sense of purpose. Adoption turns an aching silence into laughter-filled rooms. It transforms lives on both sides.

The cultural silence

Despite religious encouragement and emotional need, adoption is still taboo in many parts of Pakistani society. Some families fear societal judgment, some worry about inheritance and bloodline purity, and others hesitate simply because it's not the "norm." But we must break this silence.

Let us remind ourselves and our communities that Islam encourages the care of orphans, and modern legal systems in Pakistan already allow adoption under guardianship law. It is possible to adopt while retaining the child’s lineage and complying with religious values.

We need bold voices, including scholars, teachers, celebrities, and religious leaders, to speak openly about adoption and its blessings. We need media campaigns that showcase successful adoptive families. We need government policies that ease legal barriers and provide post-adoption support.

A social and national responsibility

Adoption is not just a private matter; it is a national social responsibility. With thousands of orphaned children growing up without care, the consequences for society are grave. These children, if unsupported, are vulnerable to child labour, drug abuse, trafficking, extremism, and chronic poverty.

By encouraging adoption, we are investing in human potential. Every child deserves a family, and every family has the power to change a child’s life. Adoption not only reduces state burden on orphanages and shelters but also strengthens the social fabric of the nation.

Let’s change the narrative: Every adopted child is not a burden taken in but a blessing brought home.

Pakistan stands at a crossroads. On one side are millions of orphaned children living without love; on the other, thousands of childless couples living without the joy of parenting. Between them stands a cultural wall that only we can tear down with empathy, education, and courage.

We must learn from the examples around us. From the couple I met who adopted and were later blessed with biological children, to public figures like Hadiqa Kiani who showed the nation what motherhood really means.

Let us answer the call of our faith:

"Do not oppress the orphan." (Surah Ad-Duhaa, 93:9)

Let us not fear what society will say but rather ask ourselves: What will Allah say?

To every childless couple yearning for a child, and to every orphaned child longing for a parent, the answer may be found in each other. Let us open our homes. Let us open our hearts. Let us create families not just by blood, but by love, faith, and choice.

Because sometimes, the most beautiful families are not born, they are made.

 

Rabia Khan is a teacher and freelance contributor

All facts and information are the sole responsibility of the writer