Playing Maya's mom in 'Parwarish' opened a floodgate of traumatic stories: Bakhtawar Mazhar

Bakhtawar Mazhar - it is a name that will be on your lips if you, like so many others, have been enraptured by Parwarish, the drama turning the spotlight on the younger generation aching for control and independence.

As Sadia - or ‘Maya’s mom’, as she has been lovingly crowned by viewers online - Bakhtawar is one step removed from this aforementioned younger generation, but that in no way means that her impact on the show has had limited impact. Bakhtawar’s Sadia has been winning hearts left, right and centre, sealing the deal in a viral scene as she goes almost feral protecting her daughter from a father on the warpath. And now, during an appearance on The Rafay Mahmood Podcast, the actor recalls how she was blown away after that particular scene spread like wildfire across social media.

Impact of ‘that’ scene

“When that scene went viral, people didn’t even know my name,” recalled the theatre veteran, known to film critics for her performance in Cannes film In Flames. “They would just refer to me as Maya’s mom.”

Being known purely as Aina Asif’s character’s mother caused the actor to smile, with Bakhtawar adding that the way she became entrenched in the minds of the show’s fans left its mark on her.

“People started leaving comments on YouTube clips. It didn’t strike me that people were talking about me - what hit me was how they were talking about me, and why. ‘Maya’s mom’, the way she stood for her daughters, the way she protected them - she was there for them. I liked that.”

But the impact of the emotional scene where ‘Maya’s mom’ physically stands in the way of her husband beating their daughter ran far deeper than Bakhtawar could have ever predicted.

“That opened up the floodgates to other things, and it was so emotional,” shared Bakhtawar in awe. “That whole week, I was up weeping until 2AM after getting thousands of messages from people sharing their personal stories that were so painful.”

An unwitting confidante

The thousands of messages pouring into Bakhtawar’s inbox in the wake of her performance - from men and women, boys and girls - all stemmed back to one thing: parental abuse.

“These were things that they didn’t think they could share with anyone else, not even their close friends,” explained the actor. “In our culture, there is this stigma of never badmouthing your parents - but they wrote to me. So many said to me, ‘Please ma’am, this is not for sharing, this is only for your eyes, we are sharing because we feel the link. We have somehow connected with you.”

That connection, borne out of a scene in front of a camera that was in turn conceived in the mind of screenwriter Kiran Siddiqui, led to an invisible current flowing between Bakhtawar and those who had suffered beatings at the hands of their parents.

“Someone wrote and said that when their mother took them, she, too, got beaten up - and they pointed out that in the real world, my character [Sadia] would have also got beaten up just for standing up for her child.”

Amongst the messages Bakhtawar found most painful, however, were the stories where it was mothers remained bystanders after watching their children suffering physical abuse.

“Someone else said, ‘My mother stood by and watched as I was beaten up by a belt. She did not say a word. She did not acknowledge it even the next morning. She just brushed it under the rug,’” related Bakhtawar.

However, amid all the dark stories of childhood trauma, one particular message stood out - the account of a mother who took away a life lesson from watching the fictional Sadia becoming Maya’s protector.

“Someone wrote, ‘I am a mother, I have daughters, and whenever my husband raises his voice at my daughters, I am in a dilemma about whether or not we should put up a united front and discipline together as a husband and wife, or if I should say something,’” recalled the Parwarish matriarch, as she stressed the importance of viewing matters through a child’s lens. “[She added], ‘Right now my daughters are young, but I’m so glad that I saw this scene, because now I see how important it is for children in that situation to know their mother is there for them.’”

Not just women

In a heartbreaking twist, Bakhtawar noted that it was not just women who bore the brunt of physical abuse in their homes; men, too, wrote to her of the times they had been beaten by their mothers, and how they have yet to move on from that trauma decades down the line.

“One man wrote that his mother had beaten him up when he was eight years old just to appease the other elder women in the family,” she remarked. “He said that his mother cried about it afterwards and apologised to him, but he said that he is now in his 30s and cannot forget how humiliated he felt in that moment, and how it has affected his self confidence even now.”

The tsunami of traumatic personal stories flooding Bakhtawar’s inbox opened her eyes to the amount of invisible pain still being carted around by so many in society.

“There were so many DMs,” she recalled. “I felt I needed to call in the services of a psychologist for them, because I was not equipped, not trained to give them the response that they needed. What could I say to them?”

Bakhtawar credits writer Kiran for sticking to the core of the story of Parwarish without adding unnecessary garnishing. She is adamant that without it, the impact of that scene that has struck so many would have been lost.

“If Kiran had not written it with such honesty and added ‘spice’ to it, things would have been different,” she maintained. “It was kept to the bare bones. There were no layers. She said this is how it is.”

With YouTube comments hailing Bakhtawar’s “phenomenal” performance as “giving goosebumps”, one thing is clear: the powerful scene where ‘Maya’s mom’ becomes a tour de force has secured a place in the hearts of Parwarish fans - for reasons rooted in more than just acting alone.

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