Fazila and Kaiser's secret behind long marriage

Veteran couple has balanced love with respect for three decades

Fazila and Kaiser tied the knot in 1993. Photo: File

Pakistani actor Fazila Qazi has long been a household name, known for her powerful performances in dramas such as Rozi and Nazr-e-Bad. Beyond her celebrated career in television, Fazila's marriage to actor and director Kaiser Khan Nizamani has also remained a subject of admiration.

Recently, Fazila and Kaiser appeared on a local channel's morning show where they spoke candidly about what makes a marriage last in today's world. Answering the host's question on making love last, Fazila commented on the ever-changing nature of love, saying that in the early stages of a relationship, "Love is accompanied by friendship, but when you have spent time with each other, a different kind of bonding develops."

She added, "Once kids come into the picture, a different kind of love evolves." According to her, the key to keeping love alive is "regard, and respecting each other's sacrifices," and valuing each other's commitment to spend life together through thick and thin.

The couple, who tied the knot in 1993, have two sons together, Ahmed and Zorain. Fazila further stressed the importance of personal space in relationships, saying, "Love is not you sticking to someone like a sticker and assuming everything will always stay the same way." She explained that love isn't about losing yourself in another person, but about understanding and respecting each other's individuality.

"We are not twins who are supposed to do the same kind of things," the Kashish actor said. "We are two different individuals who come from different backgrounds. We understood each other and changed ourselves."

On modern relationships

Fazila maintained that a "fake feminism" as evidenced by slogans like "Mera Jism Meri Marzi" has ruined many relationships.

Fazila's critique of the slogan "Mera Jism Meri Marzi" follows a pattern seen among several Pakistani celebrities who have publicly dismissed or misrepresented it. Actor Yasir Hussain, husband of host Nida Yasir, previously mocked Aurat March placards on social media, and Faysal Quraishi also criticised the slogan as "vulgar."

However, Aurat March organisers have consistently defended the slogan as a demand for bodily autonomy. Their Instagram account clarified that it "means an enforcement of a human right every individual is born with, but women, trans, and non-binary people are robbed of."

Joining the conversation, Kaiser compared a household to a country, saying that just as a country runs on its economy, a home depends on financial stability. He said that a man who provides well for his family naturally feels more protective and secure. "If another country looks at your country with an evil eye, then your country, or in this case, the establishment of the household, should be strong enough to defeat them."

Fazila has spoken previously about her relationship in a separate TV appearance, sharing that she manages all internal household matters, while Kaiser takes care of things outside. "The rule in our house is that I oversee all household matters, and Qaiser is not allowed to interfere," she said, laughing. She added that she sometimes advises him on his outside work, but she never listens when he tries to interfere in the house. She joked that while she is not a typical mother-in-law, Kaiser has a "hidden mother-in-law" inside him. Her daughter-in-law is slightly afraid of him, but shares a friendly bond with Fazila.

In another interview in 2024, Fazila spoke about the importance of care and sacrifice in marriages. "Everyone's become far too career-oriented," she insisted. "I'll remove gender here. What this does is that the one who has to sacrifice says, 'Why should I? You should sacrifice."

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