'I cannot bear the sound of an ambulance'

Mohsin Gillani recalls grief of daughter's death

In a heart-wrenching appearance on Zabardast With Wasi Shah, actor Mohsin Gillani was overcome with tears as he opened up about his grief over the death of his beloved daughter Fatima, who succumbed to post-labour complications in 2018 after the birth of her baby.

Recalling that he was shooting his drama Ghughi at the time, Gillani said he had already pencilled in some time off from shooting so he could visit Fatima at what should have been a happy occasion for her delivery. However, shortly after Fatima gave birth to her baby daughter, the actor said her condition began to deteriorate.

"My daughter held my hand and said to me, 'I think I am dying.' How are you meant to react when your own daughter is saying these words to you?" he said.

Lost in the harrowing memory, Gillani added that shortly after Fatima had been taken away on a stretcher, he was summoned to a doctor's office, where the news was broken to him that his daughter had passed away.

"People had already been distributing mithai after the birth of my granddaughter, and then we had to call them to share this awful news," said Gillani, overcome by the cruel irony. He added that in their grief, the family almost forgot Fatima's newborn baby at the nursery, and only went back to fetch her after a gentle reminder from hospital staff.

Recounting the traumatic 10-hour drive from Islamabad to Multan, with an ambulance travelling side by side carrying his daughter's body, Gillani said the impact of that day would never leave him or his wife and younger daughter.

"To this day, I cannot bear the sound of an ambulance, and my wife and daughter cannot travel by motorway," he said. "How can you get past these things in life?"

Gillani went on to say that his son-in-law – who is also his nephew – honoured Fatima by naming her baby Syeda Fatima. "But at first, I could not even bear to say my granddaughter's name," added the actor, succumbing to tears during the interview.

The death of his daughter left its mark on his professional life too. "When I resumed shooting, there was this scene where my onscreen daughter was getting married – I have to credit Asma Abbas for helping me get through that," he shared. "Afterwards, I had trouble memorising dialogue, and could only get past it when I reminded myself that so many other people in my family are relying on my work."

Gillani has previously gone on record to share the aftermath of his daughter's death, and his latest interview is a harrowing reminder that a parent's grief remains lifelong.