Smoking your life away

Well, well, well. Look who has finally clambered aboard the non-smoking wagon. Why, it is none other than romance champion and Bollywood king Shah Rukh Khan, who marked his 59th birthday on Saturday by telling us all that he has kicked the smoking habit after being a devoted slave to it 30 years.

Actually, that is not quite what the man said. According to Pinkvilla, what he said at a meet and greet event was, "I am not smoking anymore, guys." Said announcement was greeted with cheers and was followed up by this ringing endorsement: "I didn't think I'd still feel this breathless, but I do."

Impact of celebrities

You may think that SRK's description of the aftermath of his decision would inspire absolutely nobody to give up smoking, but astonishingly enough, Pinkvilla tells us that one fan was moved enough to declare on the spot that he, too, would be following in his footsteps - placing our new and improved cigarette-free hero betwixt quite the rock and the hard place.

You can almost see the train of thought flashing in his mind's eye. Does he dish out a heartwarming, "Well done" to this frankly sheep-like fan, or urge him to follow his heart? To offer congratulations would force SRK to admit the uncomfortable truth that had it not been for his own cigarette-loving ways, perhaps this easily-led individual wouldn't have been inspired to smoke in the first place. On the other hand, to tell the fan to follow his heart would be hypocritical and, given said fan's life choices, perhaps a touch irresponsible.

In the end, SRK opted for a blend of both options, taking great pains to not pick a side and thus absolving himself from any guilt, real or imagined. "It is the worst thing that after smoking for 30 years, I'm giving the advice, 'Don't smoke'," he said. He insisted that he was no "role model" (hint, hint: I may be famous even on Pluto but stop copying me) and stressed that everyone knows smoking is "not good" for them (subtext: for goodness' sake do not make me responsible for your bad habits), and that it would be good if people could give it up and bad if they couldn't. Stumbling to the finish line, SRK concluded with this piece of brilliance: "But having said that, do whatever you feel like doing in your own time." It is not quite the same as the explicit message, "Boys and girls, smoking is bad and I was a deluded fool for falling under its spell for so long." Still, in the absence of any concrete message from anyone else, it will have to do.

Glamourisation of smoking

You would think that now that we have made it all the way to the dying embers of 2024, people no longer have to be explicitly told to avoid an unseemly, foul-smelling, expensive addictive cancer stick, but you would be astonished at how many swoon over the sight of Tommy Shelby and his soulful smoking. Cillian Murphy may not be a smoker, but his crime boss alter ego treats cigarettes with the diligence scuba divers treat oxygen tanks.

"I admit Peaky Blinders made me want to smoke and drink, among other things," confesses a fan on Reddit.

"This show is an ex-addict's nightmare," adds another Peaky Blinders fan. "I smoked for ten years and I usually watch it with my ex-alcoholic friend and his girlfriend who abused narcotics. By the end of each episode, our skin is crawling."

Perhaps you think it is unfair to fling blame at Peaky Blinders for glamourising smoking, since Tommy Shelby does not exist in real life and Murphy was smoking herbal cigarettes on set the entire time. And perhaps, whilst your head is already buried deep down in the sand, you could throw in the fact that tobacco companies are subject to some of the harshest anti-advertising laws invented and that their work has become that much harder in today's enlightened times - especially now that SRK is no longer lining their pockets.

However, tobacco companies need not fear. They may no longer be allowed to stick a cowboy with a cigarette dangling between his fingers on a giant billboard, but they already have the likes of singer Charli XCX regaling us with the high points of being 'brat'. One of the salient features of being 'brat', according to Charli, involves smoking. To be clear, this is the real stuff, not the pithy little herbal things Murphy chugged away at for his show.

"You're that girl who is a bit messy, loves to party, and maybe says dumb things sometimes. She's honest, blunt, and a little bit volatile," says Charli of the cultural beast she has unleashed. Painting a clearer picture, Charli tells the BBC Sidetracked podcast that someone brat might have "a pack of cigs, a Bic lighter and a strappy white top with no bra".

Rejecting outright the questionable fashion choices of someone with a strappy white top and no bra, let us make it abundantly clear that Charli is not a lurking denizen of the internet who has little reach beyond a handful of followers. Charli's cigarette-happy brat has become such a cultural force that Collins Dictionary has bequeathed her 'brat' the word of the year.

"Brat has become one of the most talked about words of 2024," Collins English Dictionary stated. "More than a hugely successful album, 'brat' is a cultural phenomenon that has resonated with people globally, and 'brat summer' established itself as an aesthetic and a way of life."

Now, perhaps you may not peruse Collins Dictionary with the rigour you ought to, but you don't have to read it cover to cover to understand the upgraded definition of brat. According to the BBC, Collins' lexicographers look at social media and other sources to determine which words should be added to their annual list of new and notable words - which is how we are now saddled with 'brat' forever.

It would be unfair to blame just Charli for the renewed coolness of smoking, however, much you may want to, because the trend has unfortunately gained traction on social media platforms. An Instagram account called Cigfluencers, with 40,000 followers, regularly posts images of celebrities smoking, and it is here where your crushes will go to die. Sabrina Carpenter, Josh Hartnett, Bella Hadid, Paul Mascal and (unsurprisingly) the Gallagher brothers all pose dashingly with a cigarette either in their mouth or trapped rather rakishly between their fingers. "Hot people keep the art of smoking and being cool alive," reads the tagline.

With 40,000 avid followers, such social media platforms may just be the salvation tobacco companies are yearning for. As for the rest of us, perhaps it is time to award SRK a thank you during these dark and dangerous times.