Chappell Roan reminds us of the dark side of fan obsession and parasocial relationships

Remember when being a fan of a musician meant buying their album and putting up a poster in your room?

Those days are long gone. With social media, fans now feel like they're close friends with their favorite stars. But is this closeness always a good thing?

Rising pop star Chappell Roan doesn't think so. On August 24, she took to Instagram to share a lengthy statement that sparked conversation—not about new music or a tour, but about setting boundaries.

She wrote: "I want to be an artist for a very long time. I've been in too many nonconsensual physical and social interactions, and I just need to lay it out and remind you, women don't owe you s**t."

Roan's response isn't surprising, given her rapid rise to fame. After opening for Olivia Rodrigo on the Guts World Tour and releasing her debut album, The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess, the "Good Luck Babe!" singer was thrust into the spotlight.

The intensity of her newfound fame has been overwhelming, she admitted during a recent tour stop: "My career is just kind of going really fast, and it's really hard to keep up. I'm just being honest… I'm having a hard time today."

But the cost of fame has affected more than just Roan's privacy. On a podcast, she revealed that some fans have "tstarted to be freaks — like, [they] follow me and know where my parents live, and where my sister works. All this weird s**t." As a result, she plans to "pump the brakes" on her public life.

According to Dr. Veronica Lamarche, a social psychologist at the University of Essex who spoke to the BBC, these one-sided relationships can be dangerous.

"It can become dangerous when we don't set healthy boundaries in terms of those expectations," she said. Fans might fantasize about becoming best friends with their idol, but the truth is, "this celebrity that you've been projecting onto doesn't have any idea who you are," which can be "destabilizing" for the artist, Dr. Lamarche explained.

But the dark side of fandom goes beyond just making artists uncomfortable. In the worst cases, it can turn deadly.

In 1995, Selena, the beloved Tejano singer, was murdered by the president of her fan club. In 2016, Christina Grimmie—an up-and-coming star from The Voice—was shot and killed by an obsessed fan after a concert. These tragedies are stark reminders of how fan obsession can spiral out of control.

Drawing a line.

Roan offers a straightforward yet vital solution: respect boundaries.

"When I'm on stage, when I'm performing, when I'm in drag, when I'm at a work event, when I'm doing press... I am at work. Any other circumstance, I am not in work mode. I am clocked out."

It's a reminder that being an artist is a job, and like any job, there are times when you're "on" and times when you're "off."

Roan's post isn't just a plea—it's a challenge to modern fan culture. It exposes how misguided "love" can harm the very artists we admire. As we engage with music, we must ask ourselves: Are we supporting creativity, or are we crossing boundaries?

The future of music relies not only on talented artists but also on fans who understand where to draw the line.