Married at 39, baby at 40: Vaneeza Ahmed

Actor-model says there is no time limit for women to achieve what they want

On a recent morning show, Vaneeza Ahmed offered a refreshing departure from her usual glamorous image. Known for her striking beauty and impeccable fashion sense, Vaneeza revealed a more personal side of herself, sharing insights into her past and the lessons she's learned along the way.

As the host asked about her teenage years, Vaneeza opened up about a time when she was anything but the fashion icon we know today. "I was an angsty teenager," Vaneeza began, her voice tinged with a nostalgic chuckle. "At least, that's what I've heard." She described a life marked by obsessive-compulsive tendencies—ironing out every wrinkle with almost religious fervour and navigating a strict regimen of studying to become a doctor. The eldest sibling in her family, she was the dutiful one, adhering to parental guidelines with a stoic seriousness that left little room for rebellion.

In those days, her wardrobe was a canvas of monotony: beige and greys dominated, a palette as dull as her self-described teenage angst. "I was pretty boring," she confessed. "Had I known what I am capable of, I would be very different today."

The conversation took a poignant turn as Vaneeza spoke of personal loss and transformation. "When my sister passed away, I began to find solace in meditation and prayers," the Ehd-e-Wafa actor shared, her eyes reflecting a depth of emotion. What had once been a ritual obligation became a profound practice of connection. "I developed a passion for meeting Allah five times a day, understanding its meditative aspect. We've been given five prayers so we can take a moment to contemplate life."

The discussion also ventured into societal perceptions and the often unwelcome pity that surrounds women. Vaneeza's voice carried a mix of frustration and resolve. "The woman is turned into a pitiable creature. Haye bechari! When my father passed away, everyone remarked, 'Oh poor orphan.' Similar reactions when someone becomes single." She challenged this narrative with a powerful declaration: "Give women enough confidence to choose a partner when they wish to if they wish to. There's no time limit."

At 39, Vaneeza embarked on her marital journey and at 40, welcomed her first child, defying societal expectations with grace and timing that were distinctly her own. "Being a strong woman doesn't entail being rude," she asserted. "In this country, it seems that every time I've been sweet, I've been taken for granted. But when I assert myself, I'm treated with respect."

In an interview with BBC Urdu last year, Vaneeza addressed the stereotype associated with paternal aunts, often portrayed as villains in Pakistani dramas. She humorously mentioned that she shares some traits with her character, as she is a paternal aunt in real life as well. "This is because I am such a paternal aunt in real life too," stated Vaneeza with a laugh. "My paternal aunt is also very nice. There are aunts and people like me. If a paternal aunt is saying something, we perceive it to be negative,"

The actor advocated for breaking stereotypes, expressing her disapproval of highlighting negativity in dramas. She emphasised the need to showcase positive aspects, such as good paternal aunts, and wished that Kuch Ankahi plays a role in challenging and changing these stereotypes. "I hope Kuch Ankahi breaks many stereotypes," stated the model. "But why do we show negativity? I am against that. This is why I haven't done so many dramas. We highlight the wrong things. Why don't speak about the good - like good paternal aunts?"