No shame in therapy: Sheheryar Munnawar

Humble, educated and soft-spoken, television actor and producer Sheheryar Munawar took a step away from his usual silence on personal matters in a recent appearance on the FWhy podcast, talking about grief, therapy, and his gratitude to his fans.

“I lost my brother 12 years ago,” said Sheheryar, “and my response to it was to hide from it and pretend that it doesn’t affect me. I didn’t cry much. I was just holding it in.”

The 7 Din Mohabbat In star lost his beloved elder brother to a car accident in 2012, but after years of holding in the pain, he has come to a place where he is free to remember the good times. Sharing a happy memory from his past, Sheheryar recalled, “My brother taught me everything, from cricket to cycling. He removed my training wheels. He didn’t have to, but he did. I remember he said ‘I’m holding you!’, and then he pushed me down the slope. It’s a do-or-die kind of thing, no?”

Smiling at the memory, the actor added, “I haven’t thought of this story before, and I just remembered it, and it made me happy. Unfortunately, when you hold on to grief, it comes out at different times in different ways. There are moments when you think about it and you have a weak moment — the idea is to remember the good things. It teaches you a lot about life. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

Advocating the importance of seeking professional help when life starts affecting one’s mental health in spite of cultural stigmas, Sheheryar noted, “Depression is very common. Sometimes, things can be very overwhelming We are human. God makes us with weaknesses. The idea is to deal with those weaknesses. It’s ok to ask for help.”

Using the analogy of a physical injury, Sheheryar illustrated, “If you see someone stumble, you will automatically reach out a hand to steady them or help them. If you lose your footing, your natural instinct is to reach out. It is your body’s natural instinct to reach out for help, so why would you deny that instinct to your mind? When you’re faced with a certain situation, it’s ok to ask for help.”

The actor acknowledged that even with discussions about mental health discussions becoming more socially acceptable, people are still by and large hesitant to seek help when they need it. “A lot of people let pride get in the way,” he mused.

Pointing out the advantage of relieving a mental load to a therapist, he went on to explain, “A stranger can talk to you objectively. And sometimes, your therapist doesn’t work out, just like you won’t like the first pair of jeans you try on in a shop. Maybe you’re not vibing with them. If it’s not working, try someone else. Once you’re comfortable, also know that it takes time and patience. Allow yourself that time, because we can’t open up immediately.”

Today, the IBA grad-turned-actor, having enjoyed success in his professional career, is at a place where he is also lucky in love — although he remained typically tight-lipped about the details. Admitting that he was indeed in a relationship, Sheheryar couldn’t hide the happiness the welcome change has brought to his life. “I’m very happy,” he shared. “And my parents are also very happy with it. I’d like to keep it personal for now, though.”

Sheheryar may not share personal moments for the world to see on social media, but that doesn’t take away the emotional link he feels with his fans. Striking a balance between maintaining a private life and maintaining a connection with his fans, the actor warmly added, “When you’re a public figure, you become public property, but I’ve been lucky that people have mostly been very kind to me, and I think we should give the credit where it’s true. We always say there is bullying and trolling, but there is a lot of love as well.”