For any woman who has a full-time career, a young child to look after, and is pondering how to take back control of her life, Cake actor Aamina Sheikh has the solution: listen to your body and know when to take a step back.
“For a while, I had to choose between my child and my passion,” explained Aamina in a recent appearance on a Momkast podcast. “I chose my child.”
Career and motherhood: the toll of trying to do it all
The initially career-oriented Aamina originally nursed a burning passion for unusual roles. She will be known to fans, for example, for her portrayal of athlete Naseem Hamid in Bhaag Amina Bhaag, which was particularly close to Aamina’s heart, despite loving all the plays she has worked on.
“Any project that required me to learn something new — that is what is close to my heart. Bhaag Aamina Bhaag challenged me so much physically, because in order to be able to run — even though it was managed on film — I had to be able to train for it.”
So committed to her career was Aamina that when her daughter was born, the obvious solution to managing a work-life balance took the form of bringing her young baby along on set so she could nurse alongside work. Like every woman taught to aspire to be a superwoman who can do it all, Aamina began a gruelling routine that would manifest itself in her body in the years to come.
“I would shoot a scene, and I would nurse my daughter in between, and I would go back to shooting,” recalled Aamina, looking back at the burnout she experienced. Whilst Aamina is now a mother of two, at the time, she had just one young daughter, whom she shares with former husband Mohib Mirza. “Nursing has a big impact on your body, so I wasn’t getting any break by feeding in between scenes. I was basically running a double shift.”
Eventually, Aamina realised that this non-stop routine was not a sustainable lifestyle. “For a while I had to choose, what takes priority here?” recalled Aamina. “My child or my passion? I had to reestablish my family, my ground. I put work on the backburner — and Alhamdulillah I could, monetarily speaking.”
Taking a step back for self-healing
Crediting the support of her parents for allowing her to take a financial hit, Aamina acknowledged that leaving a paid career was not an option that was open to all women. However, Aamina held on to the support of her parents, and after remarrying and having her second baby, she knew that this time around, things had to be different.
“My body had been impacted by the gruelling hours of work, of birthing, of nursing, of working out, and the stress factors in my life,” explained Aamina. “Then I had to work on self-healing. I went on a whole healing journey, which was just for me. There has been so much growth and expansion, and that is part of a woman’s journey.”
Having worked in the entertainment industry for so long, Aamina recognises the toll the nose-to-the-grindstone routine can take on you. “When you are working back to back, you have no time to self-reflect, no time for personal growth,” she remarked. “In my case, I had worked so much that I had to take a step away from it for my own growth.
After her remarriage and her second baby, the actor made a conscious decision to do things differently. “This time with my little one, work was nowhere on the horizon,” confided Aamina. “My complete focus was on my kids and it was a conscious choice. I knew I had to put them in a routine and make sure all their aspects — their health, their education — are covered.”
Aamina acknowledged her privilege in having had time to build her career and now having the luxury of focusing on her children, even if it means sacrificing roles that may have once attracted her. “You have to slow down. You need to create a balance and think very carefully about your priorities and learn to say no things so you can lead a sustainable lifestyle. At one point when it became too much, I had a big wakeup call that I had to take a step back and reconfigure things,” she maintained.
To all women feeling the brunt of trying to juggle everything at once, Aamina had beautiful words of advice. “Motherhood comes with so many challenges. We have to be realistic. In that realism, there is a lot of strength and beauty. We need to expand it, especially in ageing. You can embrace it.”
As for herself, Aamina knows exactly how she is going to go about managing her career. “Now having two children and recently stepping back into my career very mindfully, I am keeping my children, my family, my home as my top priority. My body started manifesting the symptoms of burnout, and now I am only taking on work that really means something to me.”
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