Walk out, pick up a skill, and fear only Allah: Bushra Ansari’s advice to women in abusive marriages

With domestic violence cases remaining at an all-time high across Pakistan – brought harshly to light with news anchor Ayesha Jahanzeb’s domestic abuse photos going viral - screen queen Bushra Ansari took to her YouTube channel to publicly denounce all physical and mental abuse perpetrated against women. 

“Women who are educated and independent should leave as soon as there is even one instance of physical abuse,” she stated. “The first time you get smacked or have your arm twisted, you should know that it will always be like this.”

Acknowledging that walking away was not always feasible for women from a financially disadvantaged background, Bushra went on to condemn the parents who failed to rescue their daughters from an abusive marriage. 

“The ones who make me the most angry are the parents who put their daughters’ lives in danger like this in the first place,” said Bushra. “Why aren’t you doing something about it? If your child went to someone’s house and got slapped, you wouldn’t tolerate it – so why do you put up with it just because she is married? If your house is on fire and your child is inside, you would get them out. An abusive marriage is just like a house on fire.”

Lamenting that a woman’s lifelong companion is always fear – whether it is fear of a parent, a teacher or a husband – Bushra advised all women to fear only Allah. “A young newly married woman doesn’t know this,” she added. “But once she realises it, she will slowly lose her fear of a man.” 

Bushra noted that whilst she was not advocating the needless break up of a home, she highlighted the importance of financial independence in a woman so that she has agency in her own life. 

“All women should pick up a skill. Whether it is sewing or becoming a chef or doing something online – it doesn’t matter what it is, as long as you can support yourself,”  stressed Bushra. “Once you aren’t worried about someone else keeping a roof over your head, you will have mental security.” 

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