Zhalay Sarhadi recalls 'traumatising' miscarriages, speaks about experiencing body dysmorphia

In a candid and revealing conversation on Frieha Altaf's FWhy Podcast, Pakistani actor Zhalay Sarhadi dove into the deeply personal aspects of her journey, sharing her experiences with miscarriages, health challenges, and the prevalent body image standards in the entertainment industry.

Zhalay began by bravely discussing her difficult encounters with miscarriages, highlighting a misdiagnosis during her second loss that led to a severe infection and a distressing medical procedure. The artist, who had experienced a normal pregnancy with the birth of her daughter, expressed the emotional and physical toll these traumatic experiences took on her. Additionally, Zhalay disclosed grappling with hypothyroidism post-miscarriage, a condition that requires constant management.

She shared, "Firstly, it's not because of anything lacking in you - it just happens. That's what my doctor told me. My first pregnancy was amazing. My daughter was MashAllah (healthy)." She shared how she did not experience vomiting, dizziness or cravings during that time, hilariously joking about her husband experiencing those in her stead as a "sympathetic pregnancy." Zhalay explained that at 24, 25, the duo was "fairly young" which possibly led to nervousness on her husband's part. 

"Later on, I had three pregnancies - they all ended very early on," revealed Zhalay. "One was in six weeks, one was in eight weeks, the last one was also five or six weeks. The first one was a little bit of a shock because my daughter was four...The miscarriage wasn't that bad. I went to recheck and there was no heartbeat, I had a DNC, it ended. It took me back a little, wondering what had happened. But the attachment with the pregnancy was absent at the time." 

She furthered, "The second time was when I was shooting for Jalebi. If you've seen that scene where I'm beating a man whilst on top of him, I was actually going to have an operation the next day...I had already had a miscarriage and it was a bad one at that." Reluctant about going into the traumatising details, Zhalay shared that there was an infection that had developed and that she had been misdiagnosed. "I won't take any names because I don't want a lawsuit on my hands, but I was misdiagnosed and they said, 'No no, it's fine.' I felt it wasn't fine...There was bleeding, cramps, other things that weren't normal."

Upon getting a second opinion, Zhalay was informed that her situation was so dire that she may have to get her uterus removed due to the delay. Detailing the losses when a miscarriage takes place, Zhalay highlighted how losing the baby and the physical strain of the same can take a toll on one immensely. "It is when I developed hypothyroidism." She dove into an explanation of the same. "I cried for days, I didn't know why I was crying," she shared, highlighting how she had to remind herself that she was not unhappy. "Then I had a miscarriage again a few years later," Zhalay shared. "We weren't really trying, per se, but I decided that this has to stop...I can't deal with this. It's traumatic on a mental and physical level."

The actor also didn't shy away from addressing body dysmorphia, a topic not often discussed openly. Zhalay shared her personal journey with the condition, emphasising that it is an innate struggle rather than one induced by external factors like bullying. She shed light on the narrow beauty standards prevalent in the television industry, where a specific look, including a certain height, fair complexion, and straight hair, is often deemed acceptable. Zhalay highlighted the challenges faced by models who, despite their inherent beauty, are advised to undergo procedures like fillers or lose weight, perpetuating an unrealistic and detrimental notion of perfection.

"I'm someone who also goes through body dysmorphia," disclosed Zhalay, stating that many do not know about the same as it goes undiagnosed. She recollected being a chubby child with a "42-inch waist" at 14 years old. However, once a modelling offer came her way, she lost the weight in three months and had a "24-inch waist." The actor further divulged, "I had anorexia, I used to faint everywhere." She commended Frieha for never highlighting perceived flaws in models back in the day, juxtaposing the same with how "perfect girls" today are told to resort to surgery to work upon ill-perceived imperfections. 

Zhalay's willingness to confront these issues on a public platform is commendable and adds to the ongoing discourse surrounding mental health, reproductive challenges, and body image standards in the entertainment industry. Her openness about her struggles serves as an inspiration for others who may be facing similar challenges in silence.

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