I was a child: Nadia Jamil opens up on sexual abuse, shares precautions

In a candid and heartfelt interview with VOA Urdu, renowned Pakistani actor Nadia Jamil opened up about her personal experience with sexual abuse. Her courageous revelation shed light on a grim reality that persists in society and emphasised the urgent need for awareness, prevention, and support for survivors.

"The incidents that occurred with me happened at the hands of the house help," revealed Jamil. "Whenever I repeated myself that this has happened to me, it was overlooked. And because it was overlooked during my childhood, I, perhaps, did not give it any importance."

However, witnessing the Kasur incident and seeing the horrors that children faced at that time compelled her to give her own experience the importance it deserved. "When the Kasur incident took place, and I saw what those kids were subjected to, that's when I realised that I must give this incident due importance...I thought I must share that [sexual abuse] has happened to me too - not to seek attention, but so that the children realise that it's okay, you're alright. Keep your head held high, and let's live. Let's win, let's play, let's study, let's dream. This was my goal. At that point, I just asked my heart, I did not ask anyone else," shared the actor.

Continuing further, Jamil said, "I realised after I posted about it just how brave and passionate people are, how much love they have. When this is happening constantly in society - like, in Pakistan, it's happening far too often. There are very few countries in the world that are making child harassment a cultural practice. When this happens far too often in society, you must understand that the society in question is plagued by mental illness."

Shedding light on what can be done, the actor asserted, "How can this be stopped? There are many ways: poverty alleviation, education, social awareness campaigns, teaching children the difference between good and bad touch and that they can speak up against this - because children are extremely afraid, as was I when I was a child. The first thing is to teach your children about identifying good and bad touch. Secondly, even if this happens once, your child must have the self-confidence and trust to tell you this without any fear, so that things do not escalate. Thirdly, there are many areas where we are aware that the illness, this pandemic is rampant...For instance, if there are toilets, they should be inside schools, there should be security cameras."

Addressing parents, Jamil stated, "Keep an eagle-eyed watch on them. If you feel your child is silent, worried, irritable, or frustrated, talk to them. If they do not talk to you, take them to a good coach or therapist to talk openly. It is possible that a son or daughter may not be able to communicate certain things to their parents, but can to someone else. Precaution - nothing more can be done."

In her tweets sharing the video of her interview, Jamil expressed that speaking out was not an easy task, but she wanted people to understand the reality of child abuse from a survivor's perspective, free from any dilution. "This was not an easy interview to give. But people should know this is a reality. We hear news reports about such cases, I want you to hear it from a survivor’s voice. Unadulterated. This was not my fault. I was a child," said the actor.

Furthermore, she penned, "This is happening even as you read this tweet, a child is being raped. Listen to your children, keep an eye on them, watch for signs of sadness and fear and teach them the difference between good touch and bad touch. Let them know they have a support system in you always, because sometimes children are too small to understand where they can go and what is happening to them. "

With the hashtag 'Not my shame', Jamil aimed to encourage survivors to shed the burden of shame and guilt, emphasising that they are not alone in their struggles. Addressing the issue of her family allegedly ignoring the matter, Jamil revealed, "I didn’t tell anyone. I was about 19. I was too ashamed and locked in patterns which think abuse is normal. My parents have loved me deeply. But fear of the predators superseded everything for me. I was also scared he would hurt my mother. All parents slip up somewhere. What’s important is to learn from your mistakes and build bridges, damage control, and positivity. Forgiveness. Love. Respect."

Jamil's bravery in sharing her story is a wake-up call to society to address child sexual abuse head-on. Her words resonate with the urgency for comprehensive measures to protect children and create an environment where survivors can find strength and healing.