Unapologetic and unabashed: Why do fans love to hate Ushna Shah?

When I reached out to her around the first time, many were trying hard to bring her down for opting to do something as simple as donning a wedding dress of her choice. Her very private wedding became gossip for some and clout for others. Around that same time, Ushna Shah announced a break from social media. Owing to her depleting mental health, she just needed to get away.

By the time we connected on a Zoom call, Shah was visiting her husband, Hamza Amin, in Vienna. Bare-faced and sitting comfortably in her PJs, Shah looked radiant and at ease. She's living her best life.

Pause for a cause

Shah had just returned from a meeting with FOUR PAWS International when we started our conversation. "I don't think you choose the activism you're into; I think it chooses you," Shah began while speaking about raising voices for animals in Pakistan. “I’ve been inclined towards animal welfare since I was a baby. I want to raise awareness about animal rights to many people. That is something that's not a calculated move on my part. My idea of fame, of what little I have, is to raise awareness about issues people don't discuss enough. I don't want issues to bring fame to me."

The actor wholeheartedly believes private zoos in Pakistan are a result of patriarchy and toxic masculinity. "You wouldn't see women who come across money and the first thing she'd do is buy a land and cage a bunch of animals there. Men do this. Women who are fascinated by this are highly influenced by men."

Shah added that it was difficult not to speak about animal abuse, given the number of cases we encounter every other day. "I tend to gravitate towards the voiceless. With animals, you speak for them, opening you up for harassment. It's always the same question: But what about Syria, Palestine, and humans? But the thing is, there is hardly any voice when it comes to animal rights; people want to shut it down. I get ample hate for this.”

The relentless trolling

But her being called out on social media isn't just subject to her activism. Things turned sour when Shah faced the worst scrutiny around her wedding. "More than all the trolling, I think I was most enraged about people in the industry trying to violate something very sacred to me," she said. "I was crystal clear about keeping the sanctity of my Nikkah. When that was compromised, I was just angry. I was appalled at the audacity."

But soon, Shah realised she would never return these precious, fleeting moments. "My wedding was the best time of my life. All these people had flown in for our wedding and reception; they told me it was the best wedding they'd been to. I realised that I would be stressed by reading this negativity; this week will fly by and I will never get it back. I will regret it. Therefore I just announced that I am taking a small break to enjoy those days truly. I've rarely made a better decision than that."

On Feroze fiasco

When Syeda Aliza Sultan accused her former husband of four years, Feroze Khan, of physical and psychological abuse last year, many called out the latter, hoping for accountability. Naturally, as expected, all heads turned toward Shah for comment since she was the actor who was working with Khan at that point. It is, however, imperative to note that the Parizaad star had already finished the shoot of Habs when the allegations of domestic abuse against her costar were levelled. "I keep getting dragged into this. If I don’t say anything, then I am a supporting, I get trolled and get dragged in headlines. If I do say something, then I have some sort of obsession with this person. So, I’m scared to talk about this. I just want this to be over now," she said.

Many don't know that Khan and Shah had unfollowed each other on Instagram mid-shooting of Habs before Khan was accused by his spouse of being an abuser. During the shooting of the drama, there were instances that made Shah leave the set - in tears. It came to a point where Shah wasn't in a cordial position with Khan when the allegations broke out. "I didn't think I was the right person to talk about it because I wasn't in a good place with the accused," she told me. "But imagine being kicked and trolled from every corner - whether he deserved it or not - I didn't want my name on that list."

However, that doesn't mean she didn't support Sultan. "My heart would always be with the women," Shah asserted, and that gave Khan's fan base access to hating her. "Truth be told, I don't care about that. This may have been hearsay, but close mutual friends of ours reached out and told me perhaps this person wasn’t in a good place, in hindsight they may have been mistaken about this. They’re ready to be taken to the court of law and have a fair trial, I was told there were vigos sent to their home, and of course there is the obvious online trolling towards the family that I have seen myself.  This got to me. Even if someone had abused me and I came to know the kind of trolling they are being subjected to, I'd ask everyone to calm down."

A few days later, in Ramazan, Shah put up a post that garnered a lot of criticism from 'Twitter left'. "When I put that post up, I was thinking about Aamir Liaquat Hussain," the actor revealed. "Dr Liaquat had done things that I don't necessarily agree with, but he was trolled so mercilessly that he ended up dying. His death was a direct cause of trolling. And then I am envisioning this man that I have worked with and have severe differences with, and allegedly ought to be held accountable. But if he were to be in a dangerous space such as Dr Liaqat's. That was when I requested people to be kinder to everyone. I wouldn't wish that kind of hate on people who have abused me. I can guarantee that was worse than what he had allegedly done."

And that's when Shah said she was dragged by the Twitter left. While scrolling through the micro-blogging website, the Cheekh actor commented that she read a comment that completely shattered her. "Someone had written, 'I stood up for her during her wedding; I feel bad. She deserved it.' That got to me terribly. Are there people who wake up in the name of women's empowerment and pen this hate? I never said not to hold anyone accountable. But how is abusing someone relentlessly and abusing their family the solution? The best way to handle this is to support the alleged victim and rally around them."

Shah commented she realised that the internet is full of extremes, and her efforts to teach people kindness online were falling on deaf ears. "It was around the same time that I came to terms with the fact that all this [activism] wasn't about women empowerment because you cannot be selective about empowerment. The internet is just a medium to hate people, and hate travels much faster than rationality," she said.

Upon asking, Shah revealed that she had also reached out to Sultan. "I did indirectly reach out and send love, this was an ugly situation and I feel for her," the actor shared. "But I am wondering about why I should be reaching out to the two of them. Why am I the vanguard of that? Am I their marriage counsellor, or am I their attorney? Am I the face of their scandal? I'm not. But I have sent her love." She further shared, "What Twitter failed to see was the second part of my message that I had shared. It said that I am no one to forgive him. I am no one to do anything towards Feroze."

The actor also thinks that the trolling culture could never result in accountability for men. "See, it's simple. You're not going to get accountability for harassing someone's family. The kind of men we have in society, the ego they bear, the patriarchy we see - you can shout at the top of your lungs in front of their houses, you will get nothing in terms of accountability; you'll get destruction and their mothers crying. You can get accountability by boycotting to work with them, refusing to endorse them, or taking them to court."

Shah concluded our discussion by adding that she is exhausted from having to clarify when it comes to "this man and his choices." The star added, "I just starred in a drama with him; I worked hard. Since then, whether I have been quiet, whether I've asked people to be kind to him or his wife, for whatever reason, I keep getting dragged into it and I am genuinely exhausted. I don't want to take any part in it and this is me finally putting an end to it."

In the pipeline

"I've been having a bit of an existential crisis," Shah responded when I asked her about her upcoming projects. "I don't know if I want to get back on screen. A director called me the other day and said, 'You know you have to work, right?’ I am just taking a break and focusing on my marriage. I also want to focus on my writing for a while. But if I am honest, I don't know if it's worth it."

The actor elaborated, "I love my art; I love acting. I love creating characters. But on the side of it, it opens you up to be the topic of discussion everywhere. They can say anything they'd want. I don't know if any script I read recently is worth going through that. I am in talks for a couple of dramas but am unsure." Adding how she's bored of the latest dramas, the actor commented, "This idea of two women fighting over a man just irks me to the core! I had so many fights about this in Habs as well. On what planet is that okay? All love stories on our television are the same. It's ridiculous."

What that essentially teaches women, as per Shah, is to fight over men. "What you need to do is teach self-respect!" Shah exclaimed. "Any man that wants to pick up another woman and take her to a wedding can take her forever. Teach that to your daughters."

Shah, however, did reveal that she has a film coming out soon with Usman Mukhtar. Chikkar, as the actor shared, is a crime drama. "It's a pretty awesome film, I'm very proud of it."

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