Protect your pain

After the killing of his children, Greek philosopher Heraclitus said, “My existence has become filled completely with agonies. Now, I am not able to endure anything else.” Agonies create pain in the human being and pain begets suffering. Therefore, in order to understand the problems of life, it is necessary to know the meaning of suffering. The tragedy of our society today is that people live as if it is a habit. All their struggle is to somehow keep their breath. They have forgotten to live, and also forgotten the purpose of living while all the world’s thinkers from Socrates to William James agree that the purpose of our life is to achieve happiness.

The great Jewish psychologist, Dr Frankel, was imprisoned by the German Nazis during World War-II. He once said that man is ready to bear all suffering when and until he is aware of their meaning. Dr Frankel pondered over the inhumane experiences of the prisoners, like why they were still alive despite the cruel and barbaric torture of the camp. When he saw closely who could survive and who could not, he understood the fact that life is not about who is young and full of physical strength, rather the real power lies in the purpose. In this way he came to know the meaning of life.

Understanding the meaning of suffering is a powerful tool that helps us in our endeavours, but understanding the meaning of suffering is not an easy task. Sufferings usually come one after the other in an imperceptible way which is devoid of real and positive meaning; and when we are in the middle of suffering, all we try to do is to avoid them. During this time we make very little effort and then we find our suffering as unnecessary and unjust. In a period of relaxation i.e. after experiencing the intensity of pain, we can think about our pain to understand its meaning.

Here the question arises: where should we start to find the cause of our suffering? Many people believe that search should begin with their religious tradition. All religions, according to their own doctrines, adopt basic methods for dealing with human suffering. According to Buddhism and Hinduism, our suffering is caused by our past abuses. Talmud, the Jewish book of religious rituals, says: “God does everything and He does it for our betterment.”

Martin Luther King Jr once said. “When you hit a wall of pain, it’s natural that the pain often becomes a challenge that fills us with goodness.” According to Dr Paul Brand, it is useful to understand the meaning of pain in order to understand the problems of life. He presented the creative concept of pain protection. He believes that we should be prepared for pain before we feel it. Dr Brand introduced the creative concept of pain safety. He says that we cannot be grateful with the experience of pain, but we can be grateful for the pain perception system.

The human life begins with the recognition of the fact that suffering, whatever its nature, must be faced with courage. On the contrary, the way we have become helpless in front of our sufferings and pains and give up without fighting them does not beautify us as human beings. Our sorrows and pains are our teachers who shout to us that the only purpose of life is to acquisition happiness, and it is not permissible for you to die without attaining it.

It is true that we have become overwhelmed by the intensity of suffering and pain; all the comforts, joys and pleasures of life have been forbidden to us. But it is also true that our sufferings and pains have given us the courage and strength that we do not yet have within us.

Long before us, and more recently, many other nations have had worse times than us. They suffered more pain and suffering than us; they were also overcome with pain and suffering, but they found the real purpose of their life in them; they protected their pain and the pain took them to their destination. Therefore, we should also be grateful for our pain because it will also take us to the destination.

Published in The Express Tribune, December 11^th, 2022.

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