We were called crazy, hysterical: Deepika joins Meghan Markle to discuss mental health struggles

‘Archetypes’, a podcast hosted by the Duchess of Sussex, invited ‘Crazy Rich Asians’ actor Constance Wu as well

"Society is too quick to 'gaslight' women, dubbing them 'emotional', 'crazy' or even 'hysterical',” Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, told listeners tuning into her podcast Archetypes. The fifth episode came after a brief interval in respect of the death of Queen Elizabeth II. Entitled The Decoding Of Crazy, it featured guest appearances by Bollywood actor Deepika Padukone, Crazy Rich Asians actor Constance Wu, and American actor Jenny Slate.

On the occasion of World Mental Health Day, the episode hosted conversations on how normal words like “crazy” and “mad” can have a negative impact on the emotional state of women. The ladies had a cathartic discussion on their personal journeys of battling mental health issues, how the world around them gaslighted their struggle and referred to them as ‘insane’ and ‘hysterical’, and what motivated them to seek help while crediting the support they had from their families, particularly their partners.

Deepika, who has been vocal about her battle with depression, told Meghan about her first mental breakdown in 2014. “Everything was going well. My films were a success, I had a beautiful relationship, a supportive family but it just sort of came out of the blue,” said the Gehraiyaan actor. “I woke up and felt my blood pressure drop and then the next thing I knew, my life just felt meaningless. I didn’t want to live anymore, you know. I just didn’t want to get out of bed and I struggled with this for many, many months.”

The Chennai Express actor added that while she has now sought help and is well on her way to recovery, the haunting experience is one that will stay with her forever. “There’s not a single day that goes by without me thinking about my mental health. Every part of my life today is to ensure that I don’t go back into that dark place again,” she said while fighting back tears.

As Deepika delved into the process of how she eventually reached out for help, the host Meghan also chimed in with a personal anecdote. She revealed that it was actually her husband, Prince Harry, who found a medical professional through a referral.

Calling that phase of her life the “worst point” ever, she added, “I think at my worst point being finally connected to someone that you know, my husband had found a referral for me to call. I called this woman. She didn’t know I was even calling her. And she was checking out at the grocery store.”

Meghan, who was still living in the UK with the British royal family at the time, said that she introduced herself and the woman on the other side sounded a little confused but could identify the “dire state” she was in. “I said, hi, I’m introducing myself. And like, she was literally going ‘wait… sorry... I’m just… who is this?’ I was here saying I need help and she could hear the dire state that I was in,” she said. “I think it’s for all of us to be really honest about what it is that you need and to not be afraid to make peace with that to ask for it.”

Deepika noted that for her, it was the little things that mattered on her ongoing mental health journey. “It’s all about the little things like just, you know, hugging my sister or late-night conversations with my husband [Ranveer Singh]. Those are the moments that really fill me up today,” she said.

Constance, on other hand, had a rather heartbreaking tale where she became a victim of online trolling and bullying after opening up about her mental health struggles following “multiple sexual assaults and harassment” throughout her life – so much so that it pushed her to attempt suicide.

“My book is called Making A Scene because I think you’re taught that ladies don’t make scenes,” remarked Constance. “If you make a scene, you’re crazy and should be stayed away from,” she said as she broke down. Comforting her, Meghan replied, “If you weren't crying, I'd be worried.”

The Crazy Rich Asian actor also opened up on how watching her kids express their emotions felt liberating to her and she wishes she could be as emotionally free as well but she always felt restricted to do so. She said, “I would love to cry this much, but I’m conditioned to still have a different kind of composure. However, now, it’s just like ‘Relax and let it out.’ I see the same thing in my kids and I’m like, oh my God I want to do that. I want to feel so deeply.”

Meghan persisted, “It’s like an Adele album. There’s so much intense emotion and you just get it out and you share it.” When Constance shared how the world perceived her as crazy for sharing her troubles, Deepika also recalled the scepticism with which their comments were received by the larger public.

The Padmaavat actor acknowledged that she “expected backlash” but was in fact surprised to see people welcoming her truth as well. “It feels like this huge burden was lifted off their shoulders. That finally, someone acknowledged the fact that okay, there is something that is such a thing as mental illness but with everything good that you do they’ll always be sort of that,” she mentioned. Deepika continued, “There were a bunch of people who felt that either I was doing this to promote a movie or they thought that I was being paid by a pharmaceutical company. There were articles, they really thought I was being paid by a pharmaceutical company and that I’ll start advertising for some sort of medication.”

All three of them, in the end, were grateful for coming out stronger from their respective experiences. Deepika remarked that now, after having been through this “life and death” situation, she believes that has a purpose that goes beyond her work and the money that comes with it. Deepika is the founder of the mental health awareness organisation Live, Love, Laugh.