Easing up on parental policing

Despite being tech-challenged in many ways, even if I do say so myself because I am a digital migrant, as a parent of growing children, I too was wary of dangers lurked ‘behind the screen’. Fear of the ‘unknown’ leads to the urge to shield the children. Being surrounded by tech savvy friends, and sensing the signs of the times, I knew that I would weigh in in favour of careful monitoring of the content my children accessed rather than denying them and enveloping them in a cocoon.

But, that was my decision, and I was helped by those very tech savvy friends who kept me abreast of the rapid developments in the field, and, thankfully, by my children, especially a daughter who stepped into the field of digital safety as her passion and profession. It was very clear the future lay in the use of digital technologies, be they for education, information or entertainment. But, as they say, different strokes for different folks. And there is a lot of digital content that is deemed inappropriate by way of age, or cultural sensitivities.

It was in this landscape that the tussle of the digital natives and digital migrants played out, and parental concern, more often than not, bordered on parental policing. The number of people I know personally who kept their children from computers and phones, as well instances I stumbled upon on online groups are far too many to list. If any parent complained to peers about their child’s behaviour, or slipping grades, the knee-jerk solution was to limit screen time or to confiscate devices! Incidents of online harassment spilling into the physical space or threats or online abuse were dealt with by withdrawing from these platforms.

Even if those who felt this deprivation could salvage their child’s behavioural issues or keep them safe, ultimately had to realise that there was no way access could be permanently denied. Covid-19 made everyone digitally dependent to remain relevant and functional. What is important to realise that the effort that is put in teaching youngsters who have access to devices that connect them to the rest of the world through the internet, should have been directed at their parents and guardians too.

The mushroom growth of social media platforms, their ease of use and accessibility, and their acceptance by the younger generation of users have led to a continuous evolution of the security as well community standards. They are not hundred per cent acceptable because of the diversity of cultural norms of the different societies, but by and large, they are building in redressal mechanisms, and take down guidelines for offensive content. They are also continuing to create a segmentation of platforms, and content that can be hosted on them, according to age.

They have also been putting in place fake news checks and copyright infringement policies. Hate speech and sexually explict content is immediately flagged. As are threats, veiled or direct. Almost universally the age of 13 has been accepted as one at which a youngster can make an account. This is something parents must know. If your child younger than that age is using platforms like Facebook or Snapchat or Instagram, etc, make them desist. Help them make an account with stringent privacy settings.

They must also know about the child appropriate platforms and ensure that only that is accessible to their children by opting for parental locks etc for instance Google allows partner mail accounts. TikTok, a platform that seems to have taken the youngsters by storm for its ease of use and video sharing ability has gone a step further by introducing family pairing. This takes the shared connectivity out of the domain of parental policing which is a cause for resentment, and into a fun yet safe space. All apps have tutorials and resources which allow the users to learn and navigate them safely.

Onus is on parents and guardians, and teachers who are now relying more and more on online tools to learn these, and then teach the children who are stepping into the digital landscape, which does not have to be a minefield for them, or their parents mental peace.